nidhiramblers

There are many ways!..An important message.

2009-05-03T20:49:00.000-07:00

Those who read my blogs will know about Surya and Neema. Recently we have been attending a series of Neema's lectures at their apartment on Bhagwad Gita. Last Thursday we were seeking a topic for a lecture they would be giving to the members of National Museum Volunteers, Bangkok and felt that a talk on 'Karma' appeared right for the group! This choice reminded me of a quote on Karma: 'God does not make one suffer for no reason nor does He make one happy for no reason. God is very fair and gives you exactly what you deserve.' (Wikipedia)

While I had no issues with this quote, I turned to Surya and asked: 'I have heard that two angels (I think I said spies!) keep a watch and maintain a register of all our actions. But my question really is about the process of handling this enormous amount of data, collecting and processing billions of inputs by millions of us humans and administering the right reward or punishment. How is this achieved?’ It was difficult to for me to imagine how this could be done during Vedic times, but we can now talk of a super-duper computer doing this work! Anyway, my tone implied: 'I cannot really believe that this is possible'.

Surya said: 'Yes it is a belief and the scribes are Chitra and Gupta' and Neema added: 'I think it is possible, think of the universe which is billions of years old still working to some order, why think of the creation within this earth itself or just our own birth process, I am sure it is possible'. She calls them non-verifiable beliefs. I let it go at this as we were on our way to a friends' place and had reached our destination.

I had no inkling then that what Neema terms as my skepticism, was going to be overhauled within a few days.

Well here is my story. We had arranged our farewell party last Friday, May the 1st. The Party went very well and we came home happy and spoke to our children whom we had sorely missed. Our daughter Nandini had just returned from a short trip to Hyderabad and was getting back to her routines. Actually, we first spoke to Rohini in Vancouver and as we spoke she mentioned that Nandini while talking about her trip complained of pain in her leg. This jogged Rohini's memory; she had read about travel induced blood clots and urged Nandini to go to ER immediately and get herself checked.

Soon after we spoke to Nandini in Bellevue, she said that she had already been to the ER and yes, there was a clot and she had been given medicine and also an injection and now she was fine. We were relieved and went to bed tired after a very hectic but a wonderful evening of partying!

I do not sleep all through the night and as I woke up, my mind went clicking and I soon realized that the clot must dissolve completely for her to be safe and fervently wished it would be so. I also hoped that there would be no break away clots. True to my nature I did not involve God in any manner at that time. Frankly my understanding about her present ailment was very vague.

Next morning Tara called Nandini to check how she was doing and Nandini said she would call back. But she did not call and we were not too worried as we thought she was just busy. We went out for lunch to Gayathri's place and were happy talking about the last evening’s program, how well it went and how everyone had a good time! While we were at the lunch table Mukund received a call and said 'Just a minute' and handed over the phone to me. That created a little flutter in my heart. We had not carried our phone and some one trying to reach us this way was a bit worrying.

It was Raxit and he spoke very calmly and said that he was speaking from the hospital and that Nandini was fine. He then spoke about how Nandini had some discomfort in the evening and that they rushed to the hospital and she was admitted and that on a scan the doctors found a few clots lodged in her lungs; luckily they were not threatening. She was immediately put on IV medication and that doctors were now happy with her progress but were keeping her in the hospital for a few days to ensure no further complications arose, especially due to the unpredictability of her condition.

He explained to me a little more about DVT and said he would keep in touch. It was lucky for us that we were with Gayathri, Mukund and Vasantha and they were able to calm our minds. Vasantha spoke about divine intervention through Rohini and that Nandini went on time to doctors both the times.

It is only when we returned from lunch and I had a look at the web, I realized the seriousness of what had transpired. Tara had gone totally quiet, I am sure she was offering silent prayers while my mind went into overdrive. I saw more websites on Deep Vein Thrombosis and it was very worrying to learn more about this ailment. I was also greatly relieved that in Nandini's case the break away clots did not cause serious complications.

It was around 9 pm when Tara said let us go to the Erawan (Brahma) shrine and offer prayers. I went along with her and sat contemplating while she did her thing of offering prayers. That is the time I realized that I was hoping and praying. I was in fact wishing that there were no more errant clots breaking loose and even if they did I was mentally urging them to travel and reach safer areas of her lungs. I was also praying that the medicines administered would do their job.

This is what Nandini told me when I spoke to her later. She said 'I just have to wait: for the medicines to do their job and my body to do its job'. I am very happy to say that they are doing their jobs and she is sounding much better now. Nandini and Raxit received and are receiving tremondous support from Ram and Shakku (Tara's sister) and many friends they have made in Seattle. We know that God has always been kind to us but more so now!

As we spoke to friends and relatives, I realized how important it was to talk to them. Vasantha saw the divine intervention in all this and offered prayers on our behalf. So did all of those we had spoken to, they all said that they would include us in their prayers. They gave us enormous support and we were able to compose ourselves and become more objective.

Later I spoke to Rikhi about all this and said I still do not know how to pray, I do not remember any mantras to chant and so on. He said you can talk to God if you do not know how to pray, he will listen! I suppose that is the message I want to pass on.

I also want to urge people to take this advice about moving your limbs often and keeping our body hydrated while on a flight very seriously. I remember EVA airlines screen this advice periodically and show us a set of exercises we should do be doing on board. I am sure all airlines do this. Please watch it and do exactly what it says. I know we hardly watch what they say about our safety while we are on a flight!

It is also worthwhile looking at the websites like the one below.
http://www.preventdvt.org/

What is a Honeymoon Suite?

2009-04-30T02:54:00.000-07:00

This subject of Honeymoon keeps returning! Remember our Laos trip?

Anyway we returned from Bangalore and as usual made a beeline to Mukund and Gayathri's place for dinner. Sethu and Madhu were also there, so it was a family gathering! The group had gone to Burma border and Kanchanaburi and had a great time relaxing and golfing while we were on a serious trip trying to organize our return to India!

Suddenly Gayathri goes: (did she look demure?) 'We were given a Honeymoon Suite in one of the places we stayed'! That rankled or was it the thought that I missed the golf game the next day? Anyway I imagined as seniors we would have made a claim, or drawn numbers for this room and I could have finally seen a Honeymoon Suite! Before I could ask them more about the suite, the topic was changed by some one!

I am not now talking about Honeymoon, which does not raise an eyebrow now a days. It was not the same while we were young kids! Not all newly weds' went on a honeymoon! In fact, often the groom went back to his native town with his relatives and another muhurth was chosen at a later date for Nuptials! (I wonder whether the word is still current.) There are many stories about this auspicious day, but I am not blogging about them here.

I remember one story though, not sure whether I read about it or heard the story. Here was this senile grandmother who had packed her things join the honeymooning couple, she could not comprehend why she could not go with them! She had not seen the temple in the vicinity of their honeymoon location (Mysore or Ooty those days!) and it was also not right for the newlyweds to miss a pilgrimage opportunity! It was not easy to dissuade her considering she was a very determined person!

I am digressing, a few days later we were at the Mingles watching IPL cricket or more importantly drinking beer and I asked Mukund: 'what really is a honeymoon suite!' Well he said: 'It had three windows looking out at Sea (?) instead of one as in the other rooms and had one double bed instead of two which we see normally in a hotel!' I asked: 'That is it?' He said: 'Yes!' It was not what I had imagined it to be!

The story should end there, but there is one more mention of a Honeymoon suite! Read all about it!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honeymoon_Suite

Gayathri responded finally!
gayathri said...
ok - since it is all about our acco in Sangklaburi, i think i am justified in making this almost a blog entry rather than a response! So bear with me please. So this place we stayed at had this room that Mukund and I got - only because it was away from the main building and others did not want it!!! - and no one dare comment on THAT!So this room was ALL PINK - bedspread, sheets, walls - everything. And it had 3 sides that were windows opening on to the river (no sea and such). And when we commented on it the next morning at breakfast, it is suddenly the Honeymoon suite. And the 2nd day, we all had to switch rooms, thanks to our "friend" (aka sethu). and now we had this room that was no longer pink, but it continued to be referred to as the Honeymoon suite!I have to grant that it was a wonderful trip and we definitely encourage this "friend" to arrange more of these trips - switching rooms, pink rooms, it just adds to the fun!The Very Young Gayathri

Home coming or Going homewards: Are we all idiots!

2009-04-21T07:13:00.000-07:00

Continuing my stroy:
(I have this Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde syndrome as I travel towards India. I turn from a calm and accepting person to a VIoP. A Very Irritating or Irritated (old) Person. This trip was no exception.)

Tara and I got separated and I was stuck in between two men on the Jet flt. The young man sitting next to me was one of those software guys. He had a lap top which meant that his elbows were poking me, he also had an iPhone and he was constantly playing with it. To my Freudian mind it was reminiscent of a penile obsession of a little kid.

While he was not rude, he sounded arrogant when he spoke to the air hostess! She offered him a bottle of lemon juice and he used the putting down people tone and asked for water. Of course, she should have known better and should have given him a choice instead of just thrusting a bottle at him. I thought JET airways trained their staff better! Even then there was no justification for his arrogant ways. I realised I was now in the 'Land of snarls, swears and curses'. I think I had by then turned into a VIoP and was actually seething if not frothing from my mouth. (Very Irritated old Person.)

Then it happened! The announcement as the plane started moving for a take off clearly stated that using electronic gadgets and mobile phones was Prohibited! This seemed to have no effect on the chap next to me. I reminded him about the announcement and asked him to stop using the mobile phone. He said 'With due respect sir, enjoy your flight'. I actually admired his tone and style, which I would love to emulate, it was smooth and totally arrogant, would have surely impressed one of the young film directors no end. I replied 'In which case I will ask the air hostess to tell the pilot to stop the plane from taking off'.' Which seemed to have some effect on him and he shut off the phone during take off. I did not look at him to see if he pouted his lip!

But he was at it agan even before the plane reached the required altitude, I was not sure whether it was still OK to use the phone. Anyway, one of the pursers made a face as if he wanted him to stop using the phone, the little boy did not seem to care and continued to play with his toy, and the purser gave up. The air hostesses who were flitting around never seemed to notice. I gave up and decided to hold my peace.

I am still not sure whether I was the Idiot in insisting that the boy next to me should abide by the announcements made by the pilot or whether it was the obsessive boy who did not heed or the Jet airlines itself, whose staff did not bother to implement its own announced policies.

Home coming or Going homewards.

2009-04-21T05:05:00.000-07:00

We took a short trip to Bengaluru during Songkran holidays. We would have loved to be here in Bangkok and been a part of the Burma border trip near Kanchanaburi with our regular group! Missed playing golf though! Ours was an exploratory trip and we think we accomplished a lot. We will know for sure when we get back, but we did fix up many contractors to do basic repairs to our apartment before we move in June.

I have this Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde syndrome as I travel towards India. I turn from a calm and accepting person to a VIoP. A Very Irritating or Irritated (old) Person. This trip was no exception.

First things first, our morning flt was cancelled and we were offered a seat in the night flt, which meant a 12 hours wait at the airport. The Thai Airways was kind enought to offer us accommodation at the Novotel Airport hotel. We said yes, then Balaji who was also on the flt, convinced Thai to give us a flt via Mumbai and the leg between Mumbai and Bengaluru was on Jet Airways. While I was inclined to take the offer of a room at the Novotel, we chose to take the long ride via Mumbai. I was also very curious about how this would be managed.

There were many lessons learnt, but the one which is important was that the liquor bottle which was allowed to be carried with us on Thai flt as a cabin baggage was not accepted on Jet airways. Luckily the girl who worked as a ground hostess warned us about it and we were just able to push it into our check in baggage!

Luang Prabang thru pictures.

2009-02-18T02:44:00.000-08:00

Our trip to Luang Prabang felt very peaceful. While there were more tuktuks and motor bikes than I had expected, it was still pollution free. Surprisingly we were stuck in traffic for 20 minutes on our way to the guest house from the airport! Everyone was talking about it at the guest house and it seems about 20 plus cars were stuck in traffic!

LP has many charming streets with nice buildings and old Wats. Lack of high rise buildings makes it very appealing. It surely is an ideal holiday for us oldies who like to walk and for the young who love trekking, kayaking and other adventure sports. I specially liked the offer to teach us how to be a mahout in two days at an elephant camp! The soap dialogue 'Aurathon koh ankush lagana chayiye' had always intrigued me! Well not worth the risk as they did not specify that the class was only for men!
'Laos, one of the world's few remaining communist states, is one of east Asia's poorest countries' (BBC) clarified my observation that interactions between people appeared a bit guarded.

A very charming little airport! Tara said it reminded her of the Lohegoan airport in Pune in the sixties.

Our favourite haunt, the LP Bakery. Veg soup Lao style highly recommended.

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While the notice at the LP Bakery was not very friendly the waiters were very extremely nice.

The new heritage!

The late king is still revered by some. Our guesthouse manager!

King Sisavang Vong: He was born at Luang Phrabang, on July 14, 1885. His father was Zakarine, King of Luang Phrabang and his mother was Queen Thongsy. He was educated at Lycée Chasseloup-Laubat, Saigon and l'École Coloniale, Paris. He was known as a "playboy" king. He had up to 50 children by as many as 15 wives, two of whom were his half sisters[1]and one of whom was a niece. Fourteen of the children would die in the Mekong after a boating accident. (Wikipedia)

I noticed that there were too many Tuktuks in LP where walking was the best way to go around. I wonder how they manage. State subsidy could be a solution.

With a 12 pm curfew and no girlie bars, reading a book is the best way to pass time in LP. You can buy books at the LP bakery, and read as you sip a cup of tea or coffee. I noticed that the younger ones were busy with their laptops connecting to people elsewhere while ignoring the people next to them!

The kids had a game going. Throwing chappals the farthest!

Models in the making.

Part of heritage?

Our guesthouse was on this street!

View from the hill.

Tara was interviewed by a Lao student.

She also posed for a picture.

The reason why LP is so clean! Admirable practice to catch and teach them young.

Does heritage means no 'lick of paint'?

Notice the very simple roof.

There must be a story here.

And here!

Shop on the fringe, she looks worried that people don't seem to walk in to her shop.

Surely not for the tourists.

The river adds beauty to the place.

Not enough land in the foot hills for farming hence it is hard in spite of all the water around.

A village on the way to the cave temple.

We climbed up to see this village on our boat trip.

We call it 'Sthala Purana' (Local myths!)

As we straggled in, she did not even look up, obvioulsy she does not sell too many of them.

She had guessed I would not buy but she did make an half hearted effort to sell.
Weird stuff to drink. I am off whisky now!

My first reaction was wow! Then I realised that even Monks need a calendar.

I was missing Rhea and hence took this picture!

The cave temple approachable only by a boat.

That picture must have came out well!

Next day the waterfall! Absolutely divine! Lovely landscaping and totally clean!

I had a great time getting into the water a little down hill. A pity that the camera did not work for Tara. She did try to take a picture of me in the water. It was very refreshing to be in there.

The night market in Luang Prabhang.

2009-02-17T15:56:00.000-08:00

For Bangkok-vasi's like us, the term Night Market has many connotations. In fact, even senior citizens walking in daytime are vulnerable here in Bangkok. I call it peer pressure! I noticed that especially after reading the very suggestive regulations, (Some called it hilarious, others humorous or entertaining, Arun called it subliminal!) the scene on the main street was a little unexpected! We did see tourists on the street, old couples, young couples, back packers and so on. While they were mostly farangs, we hardly saw a mix of races or generations and if there were some, they looked very normal and above board. It appears the director of police was needlessly worried! We now understand now why friends urged us to see LP before it got commercial!

Anyway let me start from the beginning: We walked out of our guest house after checking in and found the Main street quite easily, it was about fifteen minutes walk. We had good reviews of the LP Bakery and Rama had said we could get vegetable soup over there! We were lucky that Tara found a place she enjoyed eating at.

The main street 'Sisavangvong'. We spent many hoours on this street as we ate mostly at the Luang Prabhang Bakery seen next to the red tents!

As I walked out of the Bakery after a cup of tea I was surprised to see a lot of activity right on the main street.

The baby was real and a doll!

Future entrepreneur or youth leader!

Tara was impressed with the speed of setting up the market and the order. Nothing new for us but the fact that the main street was closed for the night market was impressive.

The night market is all set and ready to go!

The patient vendor. Most of them were calm and while some were smiling, they were not animated and hardly a shout was heard!

Finally the night fell

The wares! Tara was not too excited about the goods on display.

Not many visitors seen.

A rare sale!

The market spread a little to the side streets.

But it was not too active

Not a very aggressive salesman!

The restaurants' attempt to add color to the main street!

The experience was nice but tame. We did not feel the energy of a market place. The vendors were friendly in a subdued way. They did not push for a sale. Tara did buy a few odd things as a contribution to their economy. We bought a bed cover on our final night at LP and were amazed when the vendor told us that it was her first sale for the day and it was already 10 p.m.!

A day with the monks of Luang Prabhang

2009-02-17T05:39:00.000-08:00

We had heard about the tradition of offering alms to the monks early in the morning. Sticky rice, freshly cooked in the morning is offered. Usually the devotees place orders a day earlier and they start congregating at around 6 am and so did we! The operation is pretty well organised and it is like being at the time of suprabhatam in any temple of India.

Tara decided to join and was lucky to get something to offer as the guest house receptionist had forgotten to order, in spite of giving him the money in advance. They were kind enough to offer her a small stool to sit on.

I have a suspicion that the monks were waiting for these VIP's to arrive and get ready.
I saw the monks walking towards us as soon as these women were seated!

Tara was soon done with alms offering.

This young girl was actually collecting alms and
many young monks gave back from their collection.

They are quite busy most of the day.

They do have their outings.

While they are quite smart their dwellings are humble.

A glorious way to end the day.

While I did not really spend time with them or follow them about, I was lucky to get glimpse of their busy life. I could perceive a great sense of purpose in them and they did appear calm. Most importantly there were not many fat monks to be seen!

(Many of our friends were prompt in commenting on my earlier blog and had opined that we should have stayed at the very special room and had relived our honeymoon! While an interesting proposition, I am very sure that with the way the day went, the bath tub would have remained bone dry!)

Forced to go on a Honeymoon to Luang Prabang!

2009-02-16T05:30:00.000-08:00

People who know us will understand! We have not gone on a holiday trip by ourselves in years!

Tara had first planned to go to Bangalore during the week long break at school, then she dropped the idea! We thought we should make good use of the break with a trip to Luang Prabhang. This trip has been on the anvil since last year. In fact, Rama and Prasad tired of waiting for us made the trip on their own last year and said they had a good time!

Tara made umpteen phone calls to see if she could tempt others to join us! While many were keen, they finally did not join for one reason or the other. This meant a delay in booking a hotel and some of the recommended hotels were full by the time I spoke to them.

It seemed that we were destined to go on a honeymoon! Imagine this, the first hotel that said they had vacant rooms offered us this room (See below)!

"Water lily rooms: Lotus Villa's largest rooms at a minimum of 24 square meters; feature the decadence of an open style bath in the bedroom, as well as a separate shower, air conditioning and fan, and wi fi access. Waterlily rooms are large enough to accommodate a third person on request.

We immediately had a palaver with our extended family about this room. As you can guess, no one really gave us a sensible advice. They were either aghast at such an arrangement, Gayathri said it was reminiscent of the decadent Louis the XIV days, while Madhu and Sethu were just making inane jokes. Only Aditi made a sensible suggestion! She said 'Aunty can probably hang a towel from somewhere to cover the view of the bathtub'.

I also voiced my concern: 'I may be in trouble in case we have an argument, I would probably be asked to sleep in the bath tub!' Luckily for me Rama and Prasad came to my rescue by giving us the name of the guest house they had stayed at. They said it should work even if the plumbing needed some work! (It still needed work!)

I was very happy to book a room at this guest house and when we reached the guest house we paid up after a cursory inspection of the room. Triple occupancy seems to be the rule in this town as the bed room had a double and a single bed in it. Anyway it was way better than getting sent off to a bathtub to sleep!

Later while we were getting ready to go out for lunch, we had reached around afternoon, I saw this notice stuck prominently on a wall of the room. It was an "Accommodation Regulation" created by the Police department, Luang Prabhang Provincial, Lao People's Democratic Republic, Peace Independent Democracy Prosperity.

(I am totally in love with this publication and will try to quote as much as I can from it. It is authentic as it has a chop of the director of the police department)

"Accommodating in hotels, guesthouses and resorts for domestic and international tourists is to make sure that safety and security procedures in place to response in emergency cases for both domestic and international tourists who have accommodated and promote the Lao PDR tourism policy.

The Tourism police office has issued accommodation regulation for tourists and accommodation provider to implement and follow as below:
1. Tourists have to your own accommodation at 2400 hrs (mid night).
( I had no issues with this mid night curfew, as I am the 'early to bed' type of fellow! You can see me nodding at 2200 hrs!)
2.( Says show passport!)
3. Every time, when you are check in hotels, guesthouses and resorts you must register your belonging. If there are value things you have to give to receptionist to look after for you and both party have to sign for acknowledgement. If not, in case something lost it will be your own responsible.
4. (Something about ammunition's!)
5. Do not any drugs, crambling or bring both women and men which is not your own husband or wife into the room for making love.
6. Do not allow domestic or international tourist bring prostitute and others into your accommodation to make sex movies in our room, it is a restriction.
(and so on)
11. If you do not follow this accommodation regulation, you will be fight based on Lao PDR law.
12. This regulation take effect with official signature and stamp."

The regulation no. 5 had me worried. It is still very fresh in my memory that Thailand consulate in Vancouver could not issue me a dependent visa. One of the reasons was that I did not produce a marriage certificate with my application. My pointing out to them that both our passports mentioned us as husband and wife did not work.

Here again we were in a predicament as we had not carried our marriage certificate with us. I was considering sleeping on the other bed, just in case there was a raid, but was fortunately vetoed!
I was also tremendously relieved that I did not carry a video camera. Luckily mine is an ancient model and I have stopped using it.

( By the way, I did take some pictures and I plan to write another blog highlighting some of the sight seeing trips we made and post a few pictures. Bye for now!)

A sequel -- Toto MY dog

2009-01-15T07:06:00.001-08:00

While we were talking about Toto, Seema spoke about children who were disappointed that they missed his burial. They later went to the spot where he was buried and offered prayers and placed flowers on the mound.

I had then suggested to Seema that it would be nice to collect thoughts from these children about Toto, including Shreya her daughter. Shreya was also very fond of Toto. Anyway here is one such story by Seema herself!

I suggested to Shreya that she write about Toto. But she has too much homework, so I will tell my story instead.

I saw this dog when we first moved into Rishi Court. Frankly my first reaction was "What a dirty dog!" When one day Toto and I came face to face finally, we just stood there and looked at each other. His look was like "is she going to acknowledge me?", and my look was like "are you kidding? no way am I going to touch you!" and I just walked past him. I used to ignore him after that first meeting.

Later on, I asked the security guard where he came from. He replied that it was a stray but as he gave him food everyday, he started coming inside Rishicourt to sleep. The guard added that he had named him Toto.

As I was going out one morning, I heard our japanese tenant call out to 'Toto' and saw that he came running to him. Then I saw his daughter giving Toto a big hug and that he was loving the attention. I just stood there stunned and feeling ashamed of my own reservations about him while the girl didn't care that he was dirty. She just hugged him tight and played with him. The next day I bought a dog collar and told my guard to put it on him.

So finally we became friends!! (But he refused to wear the collar). Over the years whenever I saw him, I would call and he would come running with his tail wagging away and I would sit with him and pet him.

The amazing thing about Toto was he never barked at any our tenants or their children. Even when new tenants moved in, somehow he knew they were here to stay and he would guard over all of us. There are many things that I remember and it would take too long to put into words, but one thing I can say is that he is not Toto the dog anymore but is "TOTO MY DOG" and he will always remain in my heart.

Seema

I had written about Rhea breaking into a smile as soon as she saw Toto. He was a tired looking dog who rarely looked up, but would look up at Rhea as soon as we neared him. Rhea saw him last on the evening before she left for Vancouver. Sadly Toto died two days later.

It appears one of the tenants came down with some chicken for Toto on that day and was shocked to learn of his death. There is also a story of his being run over by a car and being taken to the vet just in time to be saved! So it seems our friend did live a charmed life and was loved by many.

The story of Rhea's freind "Toto the dog" thus continues. Earlier stories!http://nidhiramblers.blogspot.com/2009/01/in-memory-of-rheas-friend-toto-dog.html

http://nidhiramblers.blogspot.com/2008/12/something-to-bring-cheer.html

Remembering Rhea's friend 'Toto the dog'.

2009-01-08T20:06:00.001-08:00

Seema sent me this email yesterday night.

"I'm sure the house must be very quite with everyone gone, even when my kids go to camp for two days we all feel the silence.

Anyway I want to let you know that today was a sad day for all of us and Rishi Court workers because Toto the dog passed away at 2.30pm this afternoon. The workers dug a hole in the garden and we buried him with great sadness. What touched me most was to see all the workers putting flowers in his grave and praying for his soul and that he gets reborn as a human. Everyone was reminiscing about their time with him through the years. Surprisingly Chaiya remembers that Toto has been with us for 14 years."

And I replied:

"Let's hope that he is at peace now. Too sad! He was Rhea's pet as well. She used to talk to him and smile every time she saw him. I wish I had known as I would have liked to be there! Interesting prayer!"

I had been restless all afternoon. Obvious reason was that Rohini, Sundeep, Leela and Rhea were on their way home via Hong Kong. While that was the main reason, I like to think that Toto was trying to tell me and Rhea and give us a final bye-bye. We used to invariably stop in front of him for many minutes every morning. Rhea would smile at him and he would patiently look back at her.

It suddenly occurs to me that only very important people are cremated or buried at a residence. I remember poet Dilip Kumar Roy was cremated at his residence/ashram in Pune. I like this honor and the dignity accorded to Toto, Rhea's friend.

I had written about him in my blog.
http://nidhiramblers.blogspot.com/2008/12/something-to-bring-cheer.html

Seema had commented then that he was there at Rishi Court much earlier than I had thought. 14 years for a dog is a good innings. I am sure he was a very handsome dog in his younger days!

Was it Premonition?

2008-12-31T14:22:00.000-08:00

We were up early and Nandini told me as she was leaving for the Airport that she read about a fire in a Bangkok club and around 50 people had died as they were celebrating the arrival of New year 2009.
After they left for the Airport I checked the internet around 5 am and I saw this at the club's website! The small icon you see is actually a picture of a flame and it is an anitmation of an active flame!

GOODBYE SANTIKA

With BadBoy Party
31 December 2008

http://www.santikaclub.com/event/joeyboy/index.php

Surprisingly there was no mention of this fire either in Bangkok Post or The Nation websites while the others around the world had the news of this fire on their websites.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7806658.stm

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/28452686#28452686

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/54_dead_in_Bangkok_nightclub_fire/articleshow/3920930.cms?TOI_latestnews

Here is a quote from MSNBC:

BANGKOK - A fire swept through a high class nightclub jammed with hundreds of New Year's revelers in the Thai capital, killing at least 54 people and injuring about 100, officials said early Thursday. Victims died from burns, smoke inhalation and injuries during the stampede to escape from the club, which had only one door for entry and exit, police Maj. Gen. Chokchai Deeprasertwit said.

And from BBC:

Thailand's capital is renowned for its nightlife, but many clubs are loosely regulated and often have very poor fire safety systems, our correspondent adds.

A very sad beginning for Bangkokians and specifically the affected families.

(It seems there was no premonition here, the club was to move to another place hence the good bye message. I am not sure why the flame was part of the web page!

It is now on Bangkok Post and the Nation and it is frustrating and shocking to read the comments of the officials. It appears more women died or were injured than men!)

http://www.bangkokpost.com/news/local/135674/dozens-die-in-night-club-fire

http://www.nationmultimedia.com/2009/01/02/headlines/headlines_30092313.php

http://www.nationmultimedia.com/2009/01/02/national/national_30092299.php

http://www.nationmultimedia.com/2009/01/02/national/national_30092298.php

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/fire-at-bangkoks-nightclub-live-and-breaking/2396781357/?icid=VIDURVNWS04

Sunflowers to Cheer you up!

2008-12-23T23:04:00.000-08:00

We thought we will go and see the sunflowers as it is the season. Twenty of us Adults, kids and a baby took a whole day trip on a Train. The train was slow but still wobbled as it was on narrow gauge tracks.

Mukund gave us a lot of gyan about sunflowers, not how much oil an acre of sunflowers yeild, as Aditi had predicted.

I copy this from Wikipedia as I did not remember all the things Mukund said about Sunflowers!
"What is usually called the flower is actually a head (formally composite flower) of numerous florets (small flowers) crowded together. The outer florets are the sterile ray florets and can be yellow, maroon, orange, or other colors. The florets inside the circular head are called disc florets, which mature into what are traditionally called "sunflower seeds," but are actually the fruit (an achene) of the plant. The inedible husk is the wall of the fruit and the true seed lies within the kernel.
The florets within the sunflower's cluster are arranged in a spiraling pattern. Typically each floret is oriented toward the next by approximately the golden angle, 137.5°, producing a pattern of interconnecting spirals where the number of left spirals and the number of right spirals are successive Fibonacci numbers. Typically, there are 34 spirals in one direction and 55 in the other; on a very large sunflower there could be 89 in one direction and 144 in the other."

(Courtsey Wikipedia)

Reminded me of Neema telling us that we are all part of the intelligent design of Ishwara. It is convincing when you see them all together turned towards the Sun. There must be some reason why we humans are not as disciplined!

I was also surprised when I read that it is Native to Americas. I had assumed that Surya Bhagwan had gifted this flower to us, the Bharatavasis, in recognition of our devotion to him.

( Most of the group!)

(A flower as big as Leela's face.)

Roy views India!

2008-12-18T23:42:00.000-08:00

As a rambler I hesitated to take on the subject of Terror for my blog. Then I see that the editor of Guru Magazine (Bangkok Post) has written to Santa asking for many things for Christmas and eighth on the wish list is for a definition of the word 'terrorism'. While he has written this in a lighter vein, I am still relieved that I am not the only one who is confused.

There is so much written about the Mumbai Terror that I still keep getting fws. on the subject. I admired the one written by Payoshi Roy, Class XI, Bishop Cottons Girls School, Bangalore and forwarded it to others. (I know most of you abhor Fws.) Her purpose: 'We are here to figure out what exactly is wrong with us, because it is evident that there is something horribly amiss in this country and it's people'.

She is very clear about our faults. 'Discrimination is sadly practiced in every nook and corner of our country. We think it's insignificant, we think that it's just the way people are. It is discrimination when the age-old story of Hindu parents refusing to marry their daughter into a Muslim family repeats itself. It is discrimination when parents of Muslim children refuse to sing Hindu bhajans. It is discrimination when Christians refuse to participate in Hindu and Muslim festivals. All of this is discrimination. And every form of terrorism and extremism finds it's roots in this kind of discrimination, which is practiced in each and every one of our homes. That is why we need to look at our homes and our thinking before we cry out in rage and protest against the government and security forces'.

She has made some dire predictions: In another 60 years we'll have Bihari terrorists attacking Maharashtra and Maharashtrian terrorist retaliating. Next we'll have border security squadrons for our state borders.

And she is very clear about the reason for our sorry state: You want to know what the problem with India is? We're cowards. We don't think as a single nation and we can't stand up for what's right. Pretty hard stuff coming from a Kid. (Sorry I called her a boy when I sent out her article and got a lot of flak for that!). She also adds: 'We have enough and more to say about Manmohan Singh and Advani and every other useless politician and rightly so. But the fact is that in all honesty we couldn't care less. The best of us don't vote, don't contest in elections and don't even help out N.G.O.s When we can't do anything for our country how dare we, I repeat, how dare we expect anyone else to do anything.We can go on talking about stepping up security, straightening out our coast guards and eradicating terrorism. But the problem lies not in our security system but in us. It lies in our madrassas, in our temples, in our schools in our homes and in our minds. And until we realize our role, until we open our eyes to this truth, not a thing will change.

Finally her clarion call warmed my heart and many others who reacted to her article, she says: 'Everyone talks about this new India, a shining progressive and young India. Well it's time for Young, New and Shining India to prove herself. Stand up and prove your worth. This so- called liberal and progressive thinking generation needs to root out those weeds that grow in the oldest corners our gardens. We need to start thinking and start talking. Talking to ourselves and to others. We need to start doing. This has to be a national youth movement. We have to make it the beginning of a revolution. Every historic movement starts like this. Vague, uncertain and hesitant but moving towards a common calling motivated by the same inspiration and dream. This is our chance.'

All power to her and those who think like her and act. She is fervent in her appeal. 'Well we've bled. Now it's time to get our freedom. Freedom from our own mindsets. Freedom from shackles we've placed on ourselves.'

Many were impressed with her passion, clarity of thinking and ability to connect. There were some who did not agree with her reaction to those who wanted action against Pakistan. She thought they were mad! Some wanted retribution for all the indignities Hindus have suffered throughout our history. (I was surprised to read that we did not think of ourselves as Hindus, it was others who gave us this title! http://www.hinduwebsite.com/hinduism/h_meaning.asp)

While my heart warmed to her, the reality may be different. There are speculations that India would attack. Times of India, on 19 Dec 2008, quotes Global intelligence service Stratfor, 'It explained that India knew strikes in Pakistan would not eliminate the terrorist threat, "but that would not be the aim of any such operation". It added, "Instead, India has to communicate firmly that it will no longer tolerate attacks from Pakistan-based militants — whether they are rogue or approved by the state. Failure to do so risks emboldening the Islamists and their enablers, as well as a domestic political backlash. The Indian government could not live with either of those outcomes.'"

I was talking to Jogesh, my niece Lakshmi's husband about the Mumbai Terror. Their apartment building is just behind the Taj Hotel. They were on a holiday and missed all the action! Anyway I asked him whether he had read my fw. written by Roy, a school girl. He said not yet and then asked me if I had the read article on the same subject by A. Roy in outlook.

So now there were two Roys viewing our predicament and voicing their opinions. While one is an young idealist the other is a seasoned campaigner. It is important to read this long article and all the comments to obtain a perspective. http://www.outlookindia.com/full.asp?fodname=20081222&fname=ARoy+%28F%29&sid=1

Here are some excerpts: "On one side (let's call it Side A) are those who see terrorism, especially 'Islamist' terrorism, as a hateful, insane scourge that spins on its own axis, in its own orbit and has nothing to do with the world around it, nothing to do with history, geography or economics. Therefore, Side A says, to try and place it in a political context, or even try to understand it, amounts to justifying it and is a crime in itself.

Side B believes that though nothing can ever excuse or justify terrorism, it exists in a particular time, place and political context, and to refuse to see that will only aggravate the problem and put more and more people in harm's way. Which is a crime in itself.

The only way to contain (it would be naive to say end) terrorism is to look at the monster in the mirror. We're standing at a fork in the road. One sign says 'Justice', the other 'Civil War'. There's no third sign and there's no going back. Choose."

Quite dramatic, but that is how our Goddess of Issues probably thinks is the way to get attention. She is right and we Indians really believe this is the only way.

I have also a link in contrast to my rambler blog for 'Arunabha FOCUS '. He is also an young idealist. At the same time, he has also the ability to be a part of that group of Indians who could craft a way out for India. He has the credentials and I am sure in time he will have the opportunity.

I should also mention Jogesh's comment also an idealist: 'What can you expect with millions (of youth) unemployed in both countries?' I think I agree with him. It has been our failure. Both with the largely democratic(?) India and the mostly dictator run country of Pakistan.

It is how you view statistics on our exploded population. We have around 300 million who are all right. That is nearly equal to the population of India at the time of our Independence. On the other hand we have double that number who barely subsist and I read somewhere we have around 300 million who are in total poverty.

I can continue in this train of thought, but I suppose it is not right to spoil your Christmas and hopefully a happy new year! God bless India and our Neighbours as well!

Seriously, is there a way out?

2008-12-05T03:08:00.000-08:00

After the Mumbai terror, we are all upset, angry and want everything done. What is that entirely depends on the nature of the person or the position he or she is in. I see that Thomas Friedman, who called the world flat now wants it to be a village. Very sensible I think.

I quote: 'Because, I repeat, this kind of murderous violence only stops when the village - all the good people in Pakistan, including the community elders and spiritual leaders who want a decent future for their country - declares, as a collective, that those who carry out such murders are shameful unbelievers who will not dance with virgins in heaven but burn in hell. And they do it with the same vehemence with which they denounce Danish cartoons.'

Is he thinking of small manageable tribal villages and not the global village? Whatever, I wondered whether at my age, would I be consulted as an elder in one of these small segments of humanity. A modern Rishi as it were. I remember reading that the influence of the rishis was such that tigers and deers lived in harmony in their retreats in the forest.

Assuming that this indeed was a possibility, I looked at my credentials as a person of peace. Do I have the aura of a swami and the authority of spirituality to impress upon people in the village that it is evil to kill, in self defense or in retaliation? Could I give them a dream which the village would accept and adapt? A dream so wonderful that it would spread across the village, global or not, and change the world.

It is not surprising that after serious introspection, I gave up this idea and thought it is better to find solutions differently. I looked hopefully for practical ideas from (my friend) the world wide web.

Here is one such: http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/CY-WWWar.html

What are the most obvious first steps toward a civilized, war-free world?
I. A World Police Force to Replace all National Military Forces.
II. A World Court with all the Powers Necessary to Enforce its Rulings.
III. Several Years of Peace in which the New World Police and World Court Show that they Can Do the Work Formerly Performed by National Military Forces.
IV. Disarmament of all National Military Forces, Phased in Over Many Years.

The suggestion is ...................................! ( I leave it you to comment!)

Then again I saw this as I kept looking for some hope for peace!
The Future of War and Peace By Eric Hobsbawm
http://www.counterpunch.org/hobsbawm1.html
The 20th century was the most murderous in recorded history. The total number of deaths caused by or associated with its wars has been estimated at 187m, the equivalent of more than 10% of the world's population in 1913. Taken as having begun in 1914, it was a century of almost unbroken war, with few and brief periods without organised armed conflict somewhere. It was dominated by world wars: that is to say, by wars between territorial states or alliances of states.

It is a fascinating study and the conclusion is as expected a mixed one. A tentative forecast: war in the 21st century is not likely to be as murderous as it was in the 20th. But armed violence, creating disproportionate suffering and loss, will remain omnipresent and endemic - occasionally epidemic - in a large part of the world. The prospect of a century of peace is remote.

Indeed the 20th century had so many wars and conflicts. This website below gives us a break up of deaths caused by war.
http://www.scaruffi.com/politics/massacre.html

And our contribution to this statistics is as below. If you think about it, this could have been really avoidable and we could have had a relatively clean record for the 20th century:
1947: Partition of India and Pakistan (1 million)
1949-: Indian Muslims vs Hindus (20,000)
1986-: Indian Kashmir's civil war (60,000)

They are still adding up the numbers for Genocide in twentieth century. I do not know the number for murder, another hideous type of violence. I am sure I can find it somewhere in the web.

I had seen this 'Delhi notebook' recently with a sense of despair about our policies and our leaders: Delhi notebook - malnutrition and malls
By Chris Morris BBC News, Delhi 17 Oct 2008

"And why not? Many Indians are doing very nicely, thank you. Perhaps as many as two million households earn $100,000 a year or more, as the economy continues to grow at impressive speed.
And if you've got it in 21st century India, you tend to flaunt it. The days of homespun Gandhian simplicity are long gone.
But two thirds of this country's population still survives on less than $2 a day. When the numbers are that large, trickle down economics doesn't work on its own.
And that means that child malnutrition could slow the rise of 21st century India. Increasingly the government knows it and it says change has to be a priority.
The money to make a difference is certainly there, but it now has to be deployed with consistent political will. Otherwise malnutrition will remain India's national shame."

I feel good that our awakened middle class and responsible businessmen are going after our netas, pushing for improvements including our security. I do hope that an other form of violence, namely the malnutrition of children due to poverty, will also get their due attention.

Something to bring Cheer.

2008-12-03T02:34:00.000-08:00

Tara suggested I write a blog about something to be happy about. That was a few days ago as we were just recovering from the Mumbai Terror week. While we are really Punekars at heart, Mumbai too has a special place in our hearts. This could happen to a Bengalooru-born person like me as Independence happened when I was nine and I became an Indian.

Cross my heart, Inshah Ishwara, I hope to continue to be one. Seriously, as a Hindu kid in school, I had started this ritual of crossing my heart and saying 'Inshah Allah'. I do not remember why, must be because of the original 'Gandhigiri' that was still relevant those days!

Anyway, what really prompted me to write now, was this unattractive old mutt which has adopted Rishi court, the apartment complex we live in. On our early morning walks, as soon as she sees the dog, Rhea breaks into a big smile and talks to him. I hesitate to take her closer to him as I am sure he has fleas. I do not think it has had a bath for years unless of course he stood in the rain during the October showers, extending into November here. Very unlikely.

About two years ago this dog, which came in from somewhere, was really sick with a fist sized abscess on his shoulder and I thought it would not live very long. Hence, when I returned a few month's later from my trip abroad, I was surprised to see this dog still alive and looking much better and with a much reduced abscess. Earlier, it used to just lie in one place with out moving.

I spoke to Rikhi, our landlord, about this dog at our usual lunch date. I said 'It was a miracle'! He replied, 'Yes in a way'! It seems one of the boys in the building approached him and said that something should be done about this dog. Rikhi had replied; 'Yes I agree! But I cannot just drive the dog out, what do you suggest I do?' The boy had said, 'Why don't you take it to a Vet'.

They managed to locate a vet and took the dog there for treatment and it gradually got better. I am glad that the boy spoke to Rikhi and had the not so common sense to suggest the obvious. I am thankful to Rikhi to have accepted the suggestion and having acted upon it.

Rhea is radiantly happy to see this dog and gives him one of the brightest smiles for an almost one year old. It truly makes her day and mine too.

When East marries West.

2008-11-12T01:23:00.000-08:00

" The day is going to remain with us for a long time to come. One of those days when you go through a roller coaster ride of events that leave you breathless and anxious while on the ride, but then, at the end, give you this sense of fulfillment and joy and achievement. That was our day on Sunday, November 9, 2008.

May be the right way to start writing about this day would be from 7 pm. That’s when the East Marries West recital began. We had the Royal Anthem followed by the lighting of the lamp by M.L. Poomchai Chumbala, a prominent member of Thai society and one of the most well known of the landscape artists and architects in Thailand.

The program began with a solo recital on the cello by Saskia Rao-de-Haas. It is difficult to put in words the ambiance that she creates through her music and her presence on stage. In her hands, the cello becomes this soulful medium that adds a different dimension to Indian ragas. Many of us have heard ragas on the violin, but the sound produced by the cello has an added quality that is almost spiritual. Saskia’s emotional connection with Indian music and her mastery and knowledge of technique kept the audience spellbound. Saskia is also an artist who, by her charismatic and dignified aura, has the audience immersed in the music.

Pandit Shubhendra is not new to the Bangkok music scene. He was here in November 2007 and did a spectacular performance. It was an equally riveting one this time. A student of Pandit Ravishankar, Shubendra’s performance is so spontaneous and natural, that it is almost a meditative experience and one gets absorbed into the easy nuances and melody.

Durjay Bhaumik’s complimented the sitar to perfection and it was a pleasure to see and listen to a perfectly tuned performance. At every instant, the tabla was in league with the sitar, a true accompaniment. One young member of the audience was convinced that it was the powder that Durjay was using every now and then that gave his fingers the speed! He got up on stage after the performance to check out for himself what this magic powder was!

And the performance took place at the NIST auditorium, the most energizing and emotive music ever. It speaks volumes about the dedication, passion and professionalism of al the artists, Saskia in particular, that they could go beyond the stress and tension of such a situation before the concert, and give the audience an evening of sheer delight.

Shubhendra said that music teaches one to be humble, to focus on this God-given talent and find means to share the joy that music offers. And that is exactly what the three of them achieved on Sunday, November 9, 2008.

The drama before the concert: Scroll back to 11am when the roller coaster ride began. Phones ringing, calls going back and forth, a state of panic. Saskia’s cello was damaged on the way from Delhi to Bangkok. Saskia’s instrument is specially made for her by Dutch violin builder Eduard van Tongeren, based on her comparative study of Indian string instruments and European Baroque instruments. This instrument is smaller in size than its western counterpart, which enables her to sit on the floor like other Indian musicians. It is the only instrument of its type in the world!

The first reaction was of despondence and desolation. How does one tell people that the duet was off and only Shubendra would play. There seemed to be no alternative to this disappointing situation. Fortunately, when Saskia, who was visibly very upset said that she could try and do a solo recital (that would allow the audience to get a taste of her unique skills), then began the whole process of trying to locate a cello that would meet her needs, to some extent at least. And I think that is when we realized what Darwin meant by survival of the fittest! Because it needed the optimum skills of each and every person – language skills, motor skills (literally, since people had to be driven all around the place!), maintaining-a-great-database-on-the-cell phone skills – you name it, we had it!

So it was a happy ending when Saskia was able to zero in on one cello at the Peterson’s School of Music – and we are all truly appreciative of the cooperation and assistance we received from the people at this school.

The professionalism and the commitment: Now going forward to 5 pm. Viji and I were at the NIST auditorium with Shubhendra and Durjay who were going through the sound check and such. It is quite the experience to see such professionals going through the motions of microphones and fine adjustments. Their dedication to their art comes through in their attention to every detail and tone and their determination to ensure that their art form is not shortchanged by the idiosyncrasies of technology. If ever there is a strong supporting argument FOR technology, it is how the right and appropriate technology can so enhance the audiovisual experiences of music. Saskia arrived with Tara at 6.15 pm and went through the strenuous routine of sound testing with the cello. It was about 6.35 when the artists retreated backstage to allow the audience to take their seats. The audience was treated to a PowerPoint presentation on the artists and their instruments, and was appreciative of the fact that they had a chance to understand a little more of what was to come.". .....Gayathri Rao.

The Artists with M.L Poomchai and Mr. Abid Pittalwala
( M.L Poomchai: A person of great knowledge, amazing talent, and immense humor and modesty, M.L.Poomchai is recognized for his work on Royal Projects and his efforts at preserving the Thai architecture and heritage. His home is a true reflection of his efforts at maintaining the essence of Thai materials of construction and design. Years of collecting antique building materials from all over the country came to fruition with the building of his home that is an absolutely gorgeous fusion of wood, water, air, flora and color. M.L. Poomchai is also the owner and brains behind one of Bangkok’s most visited teashop called Akaliko. It serves the best teas and pastries and is set in a portion of his garden area. When asked how he would like to be introduced at this event, his response was “Tell them I am a friend of India and a gardener as well”. )

The Trio with the Chief Guest and their admirers.

Thanks to Gayathri for the blog write up and Khalid for the pictures and also
Thanks to Aditi Rao for the Poster Design .

Thanks also to the very knowledgeable audience for their 'Understanding'. Tara was so keen to present a Duet performance of Saskia and Shubendra instead of two Divine solo performances that I asked Shubendra if there was a video clip we could add to the blog. Here is a link to a clip which will give those interested an idea of what they missed! (I have heard them perform beautifully in a concert in Vancouver!).... Nidhi

Link to the Video Clip.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmnXYT3oM78

Zakir Hussain--a true master!

2008-11-03T19:36:00.000-08:00

The whole evening was unexpected. I did not know I would be meeting Maestro Zakir Hussain and shake hands with him. The only thing I could think of saying at that moment was 'I was fortunate to hear your father in the sixties...' and before I could complete my sentence he said ' And still you came... ( to hear me!) ' with a smile. I had no quick response for that!

I did not tell him that I almost did not come. The program was titled 'Masters of Percussion'. I was not really sure about a program of this nature. I had heard him in India and was mesmerised by his exuberance and the sheer enjoyment he showed while accompanying on the tabla. I felt that it was better to keep my old memories intact.

The concert was held at the 'M' theatre. I suppose 'M' meant modest. We waited at the lobby tucked in between 'Starbucks' in the front and the car park at the rear! As we went up to the theater, the stairs reminded me of the fire escape. Probably it was so. I do not know about others, but we were directed to the auditorium from the rear!

As I entered the auditorium, I thought Ty will have a real challenge here optimising the sound system. Some of you will remember Ty Burhoe who was here last year with Shubendra Rao. A disciple of Zakir Hussain, he also works as an arranger backstage.

Soon the theatre lights dimmed and the magical evening began, surprisingly with our Ambassador Latha Reddy walking towards the audience as the spotlight picked her. It set the tone of the evening as she was there sans any formality and introduced the artists briefly and the program commenced. She was her usual charming self in spite of this lack of protocol. No wonder she is our favourite Ambassador and we all admire her a lot! (Moreover, she later reminded me that I had enough material for one more blog now! It is a nice feeling when one speaks about my blog!)

As we drove back home, Khalid expressed a sentiment we all felt, that this concert should have been held at the 'Thailand Cultural Centre'. While I agreed, I also felt that the artists had succeeded in overcoming all the deficiencies of the stage, the theatre and possibly the equipment and had given us a memorable evening of music and rhythm: full of innovation, exuberance and comradeship.

They transported us to a different world; they truly were the masters of their art. Their energy and obvious enjoyment they showed performing individually and together made it an unforgettable experience.

After the concert, we went behind the stage to meet Ty Burhoe and Nanda Sethi who is one of the organisers invited us to join the artists at an informal dinner at the theatre itself. It is nice that Tara, Viji and Gayathri are recognised for their contribution to music here in Bangkok. We were with the artists and the organisers for the dinner. I enjoyed speaking with Niladri Kumar the Sitar master and V. Selvaganesh the Kanjira master. The atmosphere of easy camaraderie which I noticed at the concert continued to be there and it was clear that it was not just put on for the benefit of the audience during the concert.

While it was obvious that they all revered Zakir Hussain and he was their leader, I had a feeling that they all felt equal at the same time. They were truly masters in their chosen medium, obvious by the way they performed at the concert. I wondered about this sense of equality that they seemed to enjoy, definitely unique among Indian artists where 'Respect' needs to be shown and is expected.

I think it is entirely due to the personality of Zakir. The way he spoke of Krishna mischievously with a sparkle in his eyes, explaining a piece he played at the concert, gave me the clue. I think he could be a reincarnation of Krishna! He was really the 'Gopala' amongst them. While they were his equals, you could see that they also respected him.

If you were at the concert you would have seen this in reality. There were many moments of brilliance from each of the performers as the concert continued to enthrall the audience time and again. They built on each others strength and seemed to climb on the shoulders of others, so to speak, to reach the peak reminiscent of the Dahi Handi during Janmashtami.

Sarangi master,Khalid, Niladri Kumar, Shivaganesh, Ambassador, Viji and Zakir
(Others not in the picture: Khete Khan master of Khartal, Navin Sharma master of Dholak,
Abbos Kosimov master of Doyra and Meiti Pung Cholom masters of Manipuri.)

My moment of glory!

2008-10-30T00:39:00.000-07:00

We were standing at the entrance of the movie theater at Siam Paragaon. A tall farang walked up and shook my hands and said 'Welcome to Bangkok, I am Nick Snow'. I said 'Thanks' wondering 'where did I meet him and how did he know that I was not in Bangkok for almost six months!' Luckily Tara caught on and told him 'Did you think he was Shyam Benegal? Well he is not, we are also waiting for Mr. Shyam Benegal!'

It felt nice to be mistaken for Shyam Benegal! It surely was an honor as I am a great admirer of his movies. While I have not seen some of his later movies, the earlier ones 'Ankur, Nishant and Manthan' are my all time favourites! Ankur changed my perception of Indian villages totally. I had this very idealistic view of a village having never lived in one. And who can forget Shaban Azmi's role in that movie! It was an astounding piece of acting on her debut.

Shyam Benegal is standing next to Gayathri!!

Let me explain! Shyam Benegal is this year's recipient of the World Film Festival of Bangkok's 'Lotus' Award, and five of his movies are being shown here in Bangkok. The Indian Embassy had organised a luncheon in his honor and to felicitate him. H.E. Ambassador of India, Latha Reddy was kind enough to include me along with Tara for this luncheon at the Rembrandt Hotel.

We met Benegal and his wife Meera briefly at the lobby and later we moved in to hear Ambassador Latha Reddy and Shyam Benegal speak. It was a delight to hear them speak and to discover their long association. Benegal lives in Hyderabad and the Ambassador's family is originally from Andhra and Ambassador's grand father was the first movie maker in Andhra.

Later there was a Q and A session with Shyam Benegal. My question to him was about his transition from an angry young man to the present where he has directed a comedy. I wanted to know the reason for this change. His answer was; 'Shoba de had interviewed me 25 years ago and again last year and she said my answers to her questions were the same both times!' His answer meant that he not changed eventhough his movies have changed.

I spoke to him again at the screening of Mandi, courtsey the Indian Embassy, and asked him whether his transition to comedy was deliberate. He said it was so partially, as the message he wants to give is more acceptable in the form of a comedy now.

It was also a delight to meet Meera Benegal. Tara spoke to her about our being friends of Shyam Benegal's cousin Niranjan and his wife Shanta. I asked her whether she thought it is possible to change the world thru movies as it does change individuals. She said 'No movies do not change the world!' Her answer was clearly sad but true. I remember thinking after I saw 'All quiet on the western front' that the only thing we needed to do was to give a copy of the book to all the world leaders and then urge them to see the movie, if we wanted to avoid wars. Anyway, I was just sixteen then!

My 'China' thoughts.

2008-10-18T04:46:00.000-07:00

The question in every Indian mind would be the one Srikanth posed for me after my return. He asked: 'How many years ahead is China?' I was a bit hesitant to answer this as my visit to China was brief and I had travelled in a capsule and my only Chinese connection was that of Charlie. I did not even eat Chinese food thanks to the lunches Mala used to pack for me. Anyway I said 'fifty!' A number Nandini had mentioned in a conversation we had a couple of years ago. The comment was from their Chinese friend's father after his visit to India. He had opined that India would never catch up, could even slide back!

I did not agree with this assessment then, thought it was too extreme based on just one visit! I had heard and read that India was on the move. There was a surge in real estate activity and infra structure projects were in full swing. It is not nice to mention the stalled NICE project of Karnataka here! Also, Mutual funds in the infrastructure segment were doing well and the share market was going through the ceiling. (Now it is history! Things have changed and HOW by the time I went into print!)

We also claimed that we spoke better English and that our quality of products and services were much better and so on. In fact, we spoke with pride that Chinese even visited Bangalore to learn about our IT industry. We were very confident that we would catch up with the Chinese. The race is apparently timeless between the In and the C, the only two Billionaires in population. (There is so much written about this phenomenon and there are legions who are better informed than I am.)

However, my first China exposure was the movie 'Dr. Kotnis ki amar kahani' I saw as a kid. I do remember we were sad but felt good and proud that an Indian had gone to help in their need. I learnt that it was Pandit Nehru who acted upon a request by Mao Tse Tung to send them doctors. It is interesting to read the full story at this site. Have a look!
http://www.tribuneindia.com/2006/20061217/spectrum/main6.htm

The war with china, which is considered a betrayal of Nehru by the Chinese had a significant impact on my life. While it is certain that this incident seriously affected Nehru's health and reduced his stature in the eyes of many Indians, it also resulted in Mahindra and Mahindra Co. securing a large order from the Army. Thus, I was hired for their Poona plant when they expanded their activities to meet this demand! I really cannot guess how my life would have turned if I had not taken up this job at Poona. For a start, I would not have met Tara! (How does one thank God for such an outcome due to a war? )

I will go back to my impressions of the city. Beijing is a clean city, full of open spaces old and new. We did not see any beggars. I did see a few women collecting recycle bottles and cans from the trash. They did not look destitute, were very small in stature and thin but were chirpy and reminded me of sparrows. They wore uniforms, surely part of the Summer Palace staff and the busy week end meant some extra income for them. Another woman while looking for bottles, took time off to read the newspaper that was in the trash bin.

I asked Tara 'where are the poor!' There were no slums or abject poverty we see in India. Tara said 'They don't allow them into Beijing. People need permits to live in Beijing'. Is it the perpetuation of the 'Forbidden city' concept, I wondered with only the borders becoming much larger.

I did not see any police around. I even wished they were there when we were stuck in traffic! I was looking for signs of the officialdom. I missed them here, I have seen more of them at Lalbaugh in our own Bangalore, driving cars and scooters, even honking and forcing walkers in the park out of their way. Probably it was a special no-officials day in Beijing.

People looked relaxed and reasonably happy. It was a pleasure to see the older people. They were special. Their demeanour probably defines the place better than anything else. All of them looked content. The Chinese way of taking care of their old is well known. I could have filled my blog with pictures of these old people as I marvelled at their composure.

Has life changed for the better for people stuck in the villages? Probably not. I saw recently the documentary 'Up the Yangtze' wherein I saw people forced to give up their homes as the water rose with the dam. I remember one businessman crying as he spoke about how officials had driven them out of their homes. But his final comment was 'I suppose it is ok we suffered, as it is for the common good of our people'.

I think it is this spirit that is driving the Chinese and the liberalisation that is propelling the country much ahead of India. It started around thirty years ago and the gap, I am about to concede after my brief visit to Beijing, is increasing.

I thought I would also plumb the mind of Charlie, my only contact, about what he felt about his country. He obviously was very proud of his country and especially so after the Olympics. He said ' We were poor and not very strong, now we are not afraid of anyone'!

But, I was not successful in drawing him into a discussion on politics or the party. Finally, I asked him whether he wanted to be as powerful as the members of the party. He said 'Yes I would like to, but I do not know how!'

It was obvious he was not cut out to be one such. This became more obvious when we saw on TV at the airport, the premier addressing the Chinese parliament. The parliament looked huge and very very orderly and again very impressive in its size! The members were all serious and grim faced. I do not think Charlie could act grim even if he wanted to.

I must mention that on our return flight I did come across a person who probably was a very minor official. While I had no direct interaction with him, I could observe him as he was just ahead of us on the plane. The way he spoke to the Airhostess, while not loud, declared his official status and the face of the Hostess was a study as she dealt with him. I would have thrown the glass of water on his face instead of giving it to him and I think I was able to read her mind and that is what she would have loved to do!

To answer another question. Yes, I saw a few bicycles in the center of the city and there were special lanes for bicycles all over except the ring roads!

Knee How in Beijing. The Air Port.

2008-10-17T05:08:00.000-07:00

Charlie our dependable friend appeared right on time to drop us off at the airport. We had spoken about taking a picture of us together. Sadly in the usual rush as we left for the airport we forgot! While we will never forget Charlie and his smile, it would have been nice to have his picture on my blog. Tara wished him all the best and hoped he would become very prosperous in his venture.

As we stepped into the new terminal 3 of the airport, the terminal is shaped like the character 人 which means people, we were in awe. We had already seen the arrival area and were duly impressed. But walking into the departure lounge was something else. It was the largest and the most modern and artistic airport we have seen so far. The feeling of space was unbelievable for an enclosed structure. The chinese really love creating space in their public places. It can be seen in the ancient palaces and parks as well as in the new Olympic complex recently built.

I have borrowed some pictures of the airport from the web. The pictures are from one Steve Zhang, coutsey Wikipedia.

As we arrive!

Arrival Level

Departure area

Duty free shops

Departure gates.

The seats were comfortable at the gate and I started to wonder why did the generally warm hearted Thais install such cold and uncomfortable seats at the gates! While I liked the look of the Suvarnabhumi airport I also felt that the old Don Muang airport was much warmer and more human. I have yet to see the new Bangalore airport. I know that there can be no comparison between the two!

Knee How in Beijing. The Final day. ....The Summer Palace

2008-10-16T01:52:00.000-07:00

I missed writing about this highlight of the second day's visit. It was a short walk around the lake Ho Hai and drinking tea at the Tea House. It was the perfect end for a very eventful day. Enjoyable surroundings and a peaceful atmosphere. Tara saw this tea house and said let us have an experience of drinking Chinese tea in a Chinese tea house. It was a great idea!

It had a nice authentic Chinese decor and was practically empty. We selected a spot over looking the colorfully lit lake. The whole place was active, with music and people strolling in a relaxed manner. A place to chill out as the young ones say.

The menu was on rectangular wooden pieces strung together, very artistic. Anyway as Mala looked at the menu she said 'My god this is expensive'. Finally she chose a pot of herbal tea. While it was not an elaborate ceremony, the hostess was gentle and courteous. The tea was excellent. I asked her if we could buy the menu scroll as memento; we could at 2000 Bhat! The most expensive tea listed right on top was around 9000 Bhat! Wonder what it was made of or more interestingly its claims to what it could do!

The final day was a visit to 'The summer palace, the largest Imperial Garden in the world':

I left home around 9.30 and Mala suggested that if I could I should also try and see the Botanical gardens. Anyway it could not be managed as we got stuck in a traffic with no one in sight for regulating it. It took us an hour just to cover about a km. I became cautious and decided to shorten my visit so as to get back in time for our evening flight. This meant that I could cover only a portion of this huge palace grounds. A pity as I missed some wonderful spots.

Even the crowd was large!

I could have spent the whole day taking pictures of the delightful old people

I climbed what probably was an unofficial path to take this picture, it was not paved, but others were doing it. Coming down I needed to find a firm footing plus a hand support. This side trip meant I lost some time. Part of the sightseeing game!

The distant Pagoda remained distant. I could not get there!

This place was magical. A young man was playing on the flute, the right music for the place and I thought heaven on earth. They called it the 'The garden of harmonius interests'.

In fact, I could have taken an other hour to see more of the place as there was no traffic on the way home as we reached in about 40 minutes as against the 2 hours we needed to reach there!

Good in a way as I reached home and took off my shoes, Mala came in and said that Tara had just called and we could go and get her. The school visit was nice. True to Beijing tradition ISB where Mala and Bharat teach and Tara had her workshop was big and modern!

Knee How in Beijing. The second day. ....Evening at the Olympic sport complex

2008-10-15T21:47:00.000-07:00

As I came out of the forbidden city it was a relief to spot our ever smiling friend Charlie as he waved at me. We had to walk a little to the spot where he had parked his car, a brand new Peugeot.

I noticed that we were passing a hutong, portions of it were fenced off with sheets and workers were busy breaking up the place. I had also observed as we were driving on the main thorough fares, long stretches of newly built and painted compound walls. The surprise was what was inside the well made compound walls. They appeared to be old type of structures and the alleys were very narrow. Anyway there are no pictures as I was running behind Charlie who was walking at a brisk pace.

I did take these two pictures as 'Dhristi Bhottu' for the amazing city!

Well we thought as Tara was busy at the workshop, we could drive around the olympic complex in the evening, so that we could say that we had seen the 'Bird's Nest'. It appears that it was opened for public on that very day, but was closed by the time we got there. However, it was a pleasant walk around the complex though a little nippy!

Knee How in Beijing. The second day. ....The forbidden city.

2008-10-15T01:23:00.000-07:00

As I walked in from Tiananmen Square, I decided to just walk around what is essentially a museum. I only wanted to soak in the atmosphere rather than see pieces on display however beautiful and unique. I suppose it was the daunting thought of walking into 9999 rooms and getting out of them which dissuaded me! I do not know if anyone has done this or even if one is allowed to see all the rooms in the city.

Here a few pictures:( Tara feels that it is a good idea to tell 'New blog viewers' that we can get an enlarged view of the picture by clicking on it.)

I thought I could make a quick buck by taking a picture of them and selling it to Nike.

Anyway no way of communicating this to them. I wanted all of them in a row and with caps on!

I think this one is cute. Beauty and the Beast!

I am happy with this composition.

I suppose I missed a lot of rooms as I got into this corridor and was too tired to go back!

A poor attempt at stitching them together!

The crossing of branches is significant. Said to be auspicious for couples who get married in front of such a tree!

You notice that the Chinese are really holding their heads high after the Olympics! Why not!

Knee How in Beijing. The second day. ....Tiananmen Square

2008-10-14T20:34:00.001-07:00

I was on my own now as Mala had an appointment with a acupuncturist! I was expecting a solemn visit to the square instead I walked into a very festive atmosphere. It was so unexpected that I forgot to pay my respects to the remains of Chairman Mao. Oops! Obviously I have no sense of history.

These pictures probably will explain why I missed!

I see that I do have some pictures which reflects the solemnity of Tiananmen Square.

It seems I did get a nice picture of Chairman Mao.

Knee How in Beijing. The second day. ....Beijing Urban Planning Exhibition Center

2008-10-14T04:50:00.000-07:00

After the heavenly walk Mala suggested we take quick look at this center. The teacher in her I suppose prompted her. I obeyed wondering why does she want me to see a Urban Planning Center Exhibition! I am glad I did. We could have easily spent an absorbing half a day there .

I will borrow from the web to tell you more about it:

Beijing Urban City Planning Exhibition Hall, which is designed to showcase Beijing 's past, present and future, might be the most modern and advanced museum n Beijing. Visitors can easily find what Beijing looked like 50 years ago and how it will probably look 20 years from now, including its business districts, Olympic Village and the entire city of Beijing in miniature and aerial photographs. The photography of the city layout is printed on nearly 1,000 illuminated glass floor panels and stunning scale models of the Beijing urban master plan is placed at the centre of the photograph. The map is so big that local people can actually stand on the exact spot where they live. 3-D video show also vividly showcases Beijing 's past and future. Quite many hi-tech elements can be seen in the museum.

( Courtesy: http://www.chinaculturecenter.org/tours/)

We walked around a bit, bought ticket for a 4D show about the Transit systems planned for Beijing. It was futuristic, short at 10 minutes and very enjoyable. We did have an exposure to the Train system at the airport as we were transported from the arrival gate to the immigration area. People from Bangkok will appreciate it more as there is no need to walk Kms as we do here.

It is also interesting to browse the website: http://www.bjghw.gov.cn/english/leaders/index.asp

Here are the details of the first two leaders. They both hold master's degree and have impressive responsibilities and credentials.

Ms. Huang Yan: Master's degree, senior engineer, deputy director of Beijing Municipal Commission of Urban Planning (Office of Capital Planning & Construction Commission). Ms. Huang Yan is in charge of organizing the formulation, adjustment and report of the detailed planning and special project planning, carries on special assignments such as Olympic projects etc. She participates in the work of the Project Division of the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games Organizing Committee and the Office of Beijing 2008 Olympic Sports Venues Construction Coordination Committee. She is also in charge of the Detailed Planning Division.

Mr.Wang Yingjie: Member of CPC, master's degree, duputy secretary of Leading Party Group and deputy director of Beijing Municipal Commission of Urban Planning (Office of Capital Planning & Construction Commission). He provides assistance to the secreatary of Leading Party Group to work the traces on political thought and organisation construction, cardres contingent, talents contingent and Party-masses work. ..........

The rest of the team are also members of the CPC, degree holders and many are senior engineers. Impressive team and the results are there to see!

Here are a few pictures I borrowed from their website:

Here are a few I took:

(Aerial view of the Temple of Heaven)

(Model of the Forbidden City)

Knee How in Beijing. The second day. ....The Temple of Heaven

2008-10-13T03:26:00.000-07:00

If you ask me about the highlight of the second day, it was 'walk and walk and walk again'! Mala realised that our friend Charlie while sincere and enthusiastic was still a novice in dealing with visitors! He was still learning; including the best way to get to places and handle parking challenges. So it was nice of Mala to join me part of the second day. It was reassuring and a pleasure and I could get a lot more sightseeing done!

Luckily, we entered the heavenly ( No exaggeration here!) grounds from one of the side gates. I felt that I was entering a larger Lumpini park. While we hardly saw people at the Great wall, this garden while there were people, was not crowded. I wondered where the billion Chinese were on such a beautiful day. It could be deceptive as the place is almost 5 times the size of Lumpini park (which itself is not small) and can accommodate a lot of people .

(The amazing part is that the park is as wide as it is deep!)

It was an interesting and a tranquil walk. Music accompanied us as we walked. Mala is a brisk walker, so it was also a good exercise. I saw activities reminiscent of Lumpini park, people dancing, singing or playing. The group doing the 'Tap Dance' were pretty good. Sweet old ladies were making hand made embroidery and the display was obviously for sale but they were not selling aggressively.

Typical of Chinese, whole families from the oldest to the toddlers were out enjoying themselves. Sights we have got used to seeing in Bangkok. Mala said Chinese love to entertain each other and we saw it in full swing on this wonderful day!

(Sorry no more pictures of the activities. I did not get them right and anyway I am not comfortable with the point and shoot way of intruding on privacy.)

(Mala patiently waiting for me as I was looking around.)

(You can see Nidhi!)

Knee How in Beijing. .

2008-10-12T20:20:00.000-07:00

Day one:

On my second day at Beijing our Chinese friend Charlie was there at Mala & Bharat's place at 9.30 a.m. sharp as promised! He was his usual cheerful self and said 'Knee How?'. I said 'Fine'. I thought he was asking me about the condition of my knee after the previous days climb at the Great wall. It is actually a greeting in Chinese. Anyway it was very apt as my knees were really tested the day before at the Great wall!

Charlie is one of the friendliest persons I have met. He was there to receive us early in the morning at the arrival area looking absolutely smart in a suit and a natty tie. As we reached our friends Bharat and Mala's home, it was nice to see Bharat who was waiting for us to just say hello! He was on his way to Shanghai for a tennis tournament with the school kids. They teach at the ISB in Beijing and were colleagues of Tara at NIST in Bangkok.

Mala had planned that Charlie would take us to the Mutianyu sector of 'The Great Wall' on the first day. As I was getting ready, Tara had a chat with him and asked him whether we could do one more 'sight' in addition. He responded positively and it was agreed that we do half a day trip at the wall and see 'Summer Palace' next. He said he would take us to the 'Badaling' sector of the wall as it was closer to Summer Palace. We thought it should be fine!

As we drove I saw that the ring roads were super and we were making good progress, none of the traffic congestion we have been reading about. Along the way, Charlie opened up and said he could sing Chinese opera. We requested him to sing and he did sing very well. He then sang pieces from the movies. Tara said she could also sing and we had a music session as we drove. Charlie had heard a few Hindi songs and wanted to hear Tara sing them, but she did not know the songs he liked to hear.

I noticed from the signs on the ring road that we were on our way to Badaling and when it was around 21 kms away Charlie exited the ring road and soon we saw the 'great wall' as we swung in to a parking place. But, it was not Badaling but the Juyongguan sector. It was quite an impressive sight and the wall spanned both sides of the ticketing booth and was quite impressive and extensive.

Tara realised that it was not the same she had been to 7 years ago with her mother. The difference was that the other had a ski lift to the top and you could also slide down the Toboggan to return. She tried to explain this to Charlie but no luck. So we gave up and decided to go up step by step! The climb on the right was long though not that steep as in the left and Charlie convinced us that it was better do the steeper one as it could be done faster in time for our visit to the summer palace.

The steeper climb! The proof, if needed, is no one is seen attempting this! We decided after the first tower that it was not for us and came down. You can also see the variable steps from 3" to 30". The climbdown was tougher.

The so -called not so steep climb! It surely was much longer.

Then after some discussion and persuasion we went driving towards the 'Badaling' section. We could not reach Mala all this while and finally made contact. She was firm and persuasive that Charlie should take us to Mutianyu as planned earlier and I would do summer palace the next day. Hence we turned back and drove a long way to reach Mutianyu. Yes it was the place Tara and Amma had seen earlier.

It was fun going up the ski lift and walking on the level portion of the wall. We took some pictures and spent a while admiring the view. It was nice to see many slide down the hill on the toboggan. Anyway we decided not to.

We also understood why Charlie was not so keen to take us to this place. He did not know the way and was ashamed to admit it. (Very typical!) Finally, he had to stop and ask for help as we were totally lost and were moving away from the sector. Finally, he persuaded a person on a motor bike to guide us to Mutianyu!

The people who gave (Wrong!) directions to Charlie before he got lost!

Being able to predict.

2008-09-30T04:50:00.000-07:00

I have been watching festival movies the last eight days. The documentary 'Up the Yangtze' was memorable! It was about a family who were displaced as the river went up! The Chinese lyric 'I cannot change your fate but can predict your luck' stayed with me. Ironically there was no need for either a palmist or an astrologer to predict that they had to move.

I am not writing about the need to protect those affected, helpless as they were, but the ability to predict. I know I have this habit of looking at my palm. I had thought that it was not so obvious until Rohini commented when Rhea my eight month old grand daughter looked at her palm one day. Rohini said 'she has taken after you!'

I think it is something I began doing when I was about 12 years old. My father had this huge coffee-table book by Cheiro. Could have been worth something if my mother had not given it away! The book was fascinating. I remember it had prints of palms of famous and infamous people. Hand prints of convicted murderers and those who had committed suicide. Of sick people and even beggars. I remember my father cautioning me to be careful as it was not really an exact science and I had better things to do. I took the hint and stopped reading the book. In any case it had too many details and my lines were not too exciting! Did not match palms of any of the famous actors shown in the book.

Then I had this unexpected and unpleasant exposure to a palmist. He was actually a doctor and a friend of my brother-in-law. In one of his visits to Bangalore, my BIL went across to meet him and I had tagged along as usual. The doctor had nice things to say about my BIL's future and as you can expect I thrust my palm for a read. I might have been abrupt, but I was eager and was just sixteen. The doctor did not really read my palm, just had a casual look and shocked me with 'I am surprised that you are alive, you should not be living according to your palm!'

As we returned, embarrassed, my BIL said 'I don't know why he acted this way, but he is known to be moody!' and advised me not to take it too seriously. A good example for the advice 'Kai thorasi avalakshana yaake kela beku?' (Why show your palm and be given a bad prediction!). It put me off palmistry though!

Another close encounter was when I had just started working. A colleague used to give me a ride home on his motorbike. The rides were exciting as he was fast and was very good. I was advised by my friends not to go with him as he was rash. I knew he was not and I felt safe. One of them even predicted that he is sure to have an accident. I had also noticed that his lines did not resemble a normal palm. But I did not look it up in my father's book. In any case there was no way I would stop going with him. Not when you are twenty two.

Then the prediction sadly came true, he had an accident and died on the spot. He had no helmet on and he was on the pinion and was thrown off the scooter head long and hit a electric pole when the driver braked suddenly. It was doubly sad that while he was a good driver he was not in control. Yes, when I looked up the book later, it said his lines spelt an accident and an injury to the head. I wished desperately that I could have somehow averted this unnecessary tragedy. I also know that it is no easy matter to predict. It is more likely that you are wrong in your readings and hence predictions! Then how do you fix the time and place, it is all very complex. Not many have this ability.

Anyway, coming back to the festival movies, I saw a documentary about India, not very distinctive, but one of the them interviewed said this: 'Everyday, I am not sure if my daughter will be back after school or my wife who goes shopping will return'.

Surely, it is beyond the time for predictions to avoid tragedy. It is time for a divine intervention and we must turn to HIM for help. Probably that is the problem! There are so many different views and claims about him.

'Language' Challenged!

2008-09-09T05:38:00.000-07:00

I saw this in today's 'Animal Crackers' cartoon in B. Post! It is a conversation between two Ants watched by Leo: 'Are you my Aunt' asks one Ant to the other. 'I am an Ant' says the other 'But I am also your Uncle'. The first Ant says 'I am confused'.
My first reaction was to go AAGrrrhh! Then I thought, wait a minute this is me!
I am always confused about the correct accent to adopt while speaking English!

It took me back to a conversation with a friend on my first visit to USA years ago.
'My ant is visiting me.' She said.
'Your Aunt?' thinking I had heard her wrong!
'Yes my ANT!' with an unnecessary emphasis.
'Oh Your Aunt' not willing to give up.
I think we both were mystified and a bit irritated but decided to let go.

Mukund was narrating to us recently, how his daughters Aparna and Aditi were always correcting his accent. 'Hostile' to them was Hosteel and not Hostyle. Tile is pronounced as 'Tyle' in English and not 'teel'. I remember that 'Honda' in America is as in 'Honey' whereas for me it is as in 'Bonda'. (Bone-da)

When young we admired actors who had the correct 'oxford' accent. Being true anglophiles, god knows why, we were condescending to those with a different accent. I almost got into trouble with my American bosses on one occasion, when they made fun of my accent. It had gotten so bad that I had to tell them that they did not speak English but American.

It is not that I admire all Brits and their accents. While in UK, it was a shock to hear their 'midlands' accent. They were equally amused by my text book type of English and said I used words they had never heard before. I took it as a compliment!

In fact my confusion is not only in English, but it is in any language! Not just accent, it is also about grammar, pronunciation and often the word itself! People who know me well are of aware my language challenges. I successfully negotiated and paid Rs.200 for a tyre which I thought was quoted at Rs.250. The shopkeeper actually had quoted Rs.150. I had mixed up the two words in Hindi. (Dhed and Adai?) No wonder he carried the two tyres I had bought to my car!

I think I gave up learning Hindi when my colleague's young sister would start giggling whenever I spoke to her in Hindi. I used to think what a silly girl! It is only later I learnt that I used the wrong gender words while talking to her, addressing her as a male!

The latest one to make fun of my 'language abilities' or is it 'disabilities' was a dear friend of Tara known for her bluntness. She said you don't know any language, neither Hindi nor Thai. Anyway I chose to be silent, I was too surprised!

The word disabilities reminds me of a stand off with a Maharastrian colleague after the tyrewala incident. I narrated the story of how the shopkeeper took 'advantage' of my ignorance of Hindi. 'you mean disadvantage of' you!' It was a literal translation from Marathi to English and he would not budge! Most of us have this problem when translating from one language to the other. I smile when friends forward English sign boards created by Chinese for the Olympics. But my sympathies are with the Chinese.

In fact, my trauma goes back to my first year in college, when I was asked leave the classroom, because the B buzzed instead of being silent in 'suBtle' as I read a book for the class. I was once totally embarrassed by pronouncing 'facade' as in 'fact' while trying to impress an educated bahu of our neighbors and she corrected me very gently.

One has to cope with all these imports in toto by the English. It is not easy as they are not very consistent when adapting, 'appalam' became 'poppadam' and 'mulligatwany' is a insult to the delicate aroma of the concoction.

I felt a little better when I came to Thailand as I found that the Thais were equally challenged when the confronted by English. I think it is a story worth an independent blog.

This was my favourite till recently, my secretary gave me back my passport and said 'when you expire, you go immigration!' Of course I understood that she meant the visa! Then I had this conversation the other day with my taxi driver friend. He was surprisingly quiet and suddenly came up with, 'Yourwife drinks too much' and then asked me realising that I was alone 'where is mywife'. Figure it out!

While I love English language I wished sometimes that they simplify. I used to think the German language or our own Sanskrit was the key. Then I received this 'forward' about English modified as common Euro language using German pronunciations. Please read the following sentence: If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

It iz md! I am sure a propah Englishman would be upset and would probably say 'While it is a conundrum why they want to do it, I have nothing but contumely for their attempt'.

I am not sure if there is a word for my condition, a true 'Eka Basha Vrata', a monogamous relationship with one language. It seems my mind closed to other languages once one of them was entrenched. Like the human egg ?

I also feel, the importance of language is overrated! I saw recently two old movies, one in Italian and the other in French, without subtitles and had no problem in getting a drift of the story!

We do learn from Kids.

2008-09-03T03:01:00.001-07:00

While speaking about my earlier blog on Leela and her question, Chandramouli mentioned that children could and did bring knowledge by their questions and actions. He spoke of Nachiketa and Dhruva and their impact. The conversation between young Nachiketa and God of death Yama is the basis for Kathopanishad. The story of Dhruva, (I remember my grandmother telling me this story) is about a 5 year old's great penance till God Vishnu pleased with his steadfastness appeared before him and blessed him.

In his opinion children must be encouraged to ask questions and should be allowed to find answers by themselves instead of lecturing them. Interesting idea, I hope he elaborates on this sometime. He retired as a schoolteacher in the US.

This suddenly reminded me about the time when Rohini told me that amma had read her the story of 'Rama and Ramana'. I tried to correct her by telling her that it was Ravana, but she insisted that it was 'Ramana'. I let it go with a smile and probably let go of a very important truth that should have been apparent to me then.

I believe it is in the nature of things that while existence of Rama (Pure Goodness) and Ravana (Total Evil) said to be in Tretayuga could be a possibility, I feel most of us in Kaliyuga fall into being something in between, in effect, a Ramana.

I belong to the cadre who having heard repeatedly that God is beyond our comprehension give up on trying to understand God and his inscrutable ways! Let alone the expanding universe I am challenged by our own solar system. Imagine his placement of the sun and the planets in such a way that I am here to write about it.

Having said that, I am constantly engaged in trying to understand his ways as it applies to us here on earth during our short stay here. I am tempted to use the statisticians approach and say that we are highly dependent on the normal distribution curve he seems to have applied. Well, most of the time.
I feel that in his creation there is normally a balance between different levels of Ramana in equal numbers.

Ramana ...................................... .ramanA

It is possible that there is less of Rama and more of Ravana in the mixture.
In which case the graph would be somewhat as below!

Ramana .............................. .ramanA

Some unanswered questions.

2008-08-29T13:13:00.000-07:00

On the last evening of my stay at Vancouver, Leela and I watched a cartoon together. She snuggled up to me as we watched. I was flattered as she prefers to watch cartoons by herself and I suppose it was my going away present! Suddenly she turned to me with all the seriousness of a 4 year old and asked me with an indulgent tone: 'So! what do you want to be when you grow old?'

I was too surprised to answer and bought time by asking her ' What do you think?'. Her first answer was an attempt at a joke. She said 'You could be an elephant man!' She associates Bangkok with the elephants she saw and I suppose the mahuts' had impressed her. Then she became more serious and said ' You can be a good tata (at) baby take care.' (Anyway something to that effect as I was already lost in thought). I take it as a great compliment! Leela is an 'original' and I hope Rohini compiles all 'Leela-isms' together.

Then consider this: Nikhil and I were together in the family room. He was playing a game with his toy cars, typically for a 5 year old. The cars were moving at great speeds and with the sound effects of a engine revving up provided by Nikhil. My body was the race track and we were bonding and were having a great time. I was getting a sentimental that I would be missing all this soon.

Nandini walked in and she spoke to Nikhil softly and with sadness about the mother of his class mate. His friend's ailing mother had passed away and Nandini was trying to find the right words to tell him. She said 'J......'s mother passed away' and realising that he would not understand said 'she died and has gone to heaven'. Nikhil knew that his friend's mother was sick.

Nikhil knows what death is, I remember once he saw an insect which was squashed and was very upset. He is a gentle boy and he loves bugs and handles them very gently. He once asked me to close my eyes and put a slug in my palm. When I pretended to be scared he said, 'don't be scared tata, bugs are very nice and they don't bite you'.

As he heard the news, Nikhil became quiet and I could see he was absorbing the news. As Nandini walked back, I could hear him murmur, 'Died? ....why can't she live and go to heaven?' (Nandini tells me that he has a concept of heaven.)

I am relieved that he did not ask me.

A story of optimism, compassion.

2008-08-09T14:17:00.000-07:00

I have written earlier about parents with challenged children, but sometimes it is the children who are the ones tested by a parent.

Here is one such story, it is one of patience and optimism, but mainly of compassion:
I shall call him Srinivasa. I like this name as my father was officially named 'Srinivasa' during his namakarana and they both have similar qualities of idealism, patience and acceptance of their lot without complaining or blaming others.

I met him at a function and later he came home during one of his visits to Bangkok. He works for an ASEAN company and is the head of Technology in a group of companies. I enjoy our talks about his work as I am able to appreciate his contribution. I find him very dedicated and sincere about his work and it shows as he spends a great amount of his time working for his company.

The family continues to stay in India while he keeps traveling in and around ASEAN. Once, I suggested that he should visit with his wife and children and stay with us. I sensed that some thing was amiss, as while he said thanks, he did not sound very enthusiastic. After a pause, he said that while he would love to bring his children over, he was not sure whether his wife could come as she was afraid of traveling and has never accompanied him anywhere abroad.

I suppose he then decided to confide in me and spoke of his wife's problems. That she is a patient of Paranoid Schizophrenia and fortunately now her condition is much improved. He spoke about her with a lot of tenderness and compassion and described her as a very good looking and a simple person. They were very happily married and the symptoms started to appear gradually.

This is his story in his own words:

"As a youngster, still not out of college, I did not appreciate that Boys who 'saw' girls for getting married acted so snobbishly and often did not give the 'nod' even if the girls were eligible and good. This practice called vadhupariksha created a lot of tension and I could understand, with 4 sisters at home, the trauma my sisters underwent whenever they had a marriage interview. This made me decide then that I would get married to the first girl I saw, if and when, I decided to get married.

This happened in the Winter of 1984, when Padma's family came home with her and I saw her. My decision of getting married to the first girl proposed to me, was too easy as she was too good in her looks for anyone to say 'No'. After the formalities were completed, we were married in the summer of 1985. I was then staying with my Brother and Sister-in-law and just before my marriage, we brothers spoke with each other and decided that I should start my new life with my new bride by living in a different apartment. So the ground rules were set between us brothers to ensure that we had enough privacy in both our families.

Life was exciting for the first few months but I could slowly start noticing a few changes in her behavior when we went out or met friends or visited my brother’s family. I found that she was giving a lot less attention to me and also did not appear very interested meeting our friends and family members.

She became a bit casual in doing household chores so much so that I started missing out on my breakfast. Considering that we were Just Married and that she was still young, I adopted a benevolent way of looking at things and moving on. A few incidents later during the first year of marriage got me worried. Her sleeping hours extended to the late afternoons and as she couldn't sleep on time in the nights. She used to keep awake and a couple of times would switch on the TV late at night and stare into the blank screen. Sometimes she used to laugh and sometimes cry without a rhyme or reason.

It is at this point of time, I invited my In-laws to stay with us as I thought she could be missing her family. A few months passed and she gave up cooking totally and left it to her mother to manage the kitchen. Any warmth for me was found wanting.

I did question my in-laws on this strange behaviour and all that I got as an answer was that she was fine before our marriage. On the pretext for her to get a change, I agreed to send her to Bangalore with her parents and suggested to them that she must be taken to a doctor, preferably a psychiatrist to address the concerns of her strange behaviour.

In Bangalore she was seen by a leading psychiatrist and it was diagnosed that she was suffering from Paranoid Schizophrenia and was needed to be on medication for a life time. I was absolutely shocked on hearing this as we had not even completed one year of our marriage. I also learnt about the role of family members towards such patients and being an optimist, decided to support her hoping that she would recover soon. The birth of our son did bring a cheer to the family but my life did become tough bringing up 2 kids in the house, one my wife and the other, our darling Son.

Years passed and then I opted to move to South and took up a job closer to Bangalore. We had our second child a Daughter there and around this time my wife lost her younger brother due to a renal failure. This incident aggravated her ailment and it is then I decided to call in my in-laws to stay with me as it became very difficult to for me to cope with her and our 2 kids.

What followed was the most difficult times as I had to admit her very frequently to hospitals for Psychiatric care. A lot of events took place during this time. One such instance was when Padma was in Nimhans and we took a parole to see her cousin in wilson gardens.It was a hot summer afternoon and after seeing her cousin at her place, padma wanted to go to her house in Rajajinagar and not return to the hospital.She made me walk for quite a distance and threatened to " hit " the traffic if I forcibly take her to the hospital. After walking a few kilometers; I had to forcibly drag and jump into an auto and take her back to Nimhans. At Nimhans getting her back to the ward brought back memories of films like " Sharapanjara ". After such incidents, my resolve to fight it out became even more stronger because of the two lovely kids she gave me.
I felt, being a male it is easier for me to walk out of the marriage, but I also thought, whenever it was a difficult time that she was not doing this on purpose. She was just unfortunate to be in that 1 % of the population in the world who suffer from such ailments. The next few years were very trying as I had to concentrate on my career, build up my reserves so that I could provide a good living to my family.

This prompted me to take up a job overseas and shift my family to Bangalore. I was initially against moving out but my wife in one of her 'good moods' forced me to take up the overseas offer and that she along with her parents would bring up the kids. It didn't really work that way. Even as I took up the overseas job her condition became from bad to worse. A couple of times I had to rush back and bring things under control. The only good thing which happened during this time was that the kids were growing up. They would come over as unaccompanied minors to the overseas destination during their school breaks.

This gave me an opportunity to talk to them about their mother’s condition and as to how they needed to take good care of her when they got back. The thought of children joining to support me as they grew up gave me a glimmer of hope that I would not be alone. The kids and I would be together in our resolve to help Padma recover and lead a normal life. Twenty three years have passed since we are married and she continues to stay at home and lead a normal life in Bangalore taking good care of her old parents, herself and our 2 lovely kids. She manages to keep the house spotless and does the daily chores of cooking. She loves to shop and has a good taste in choosing sarees in her favorite shop 'Angadi Silks'. Over the years, the drugs seem to have taken their toll and she has now become insulin dependent, too. She knows she is ailing and so is very particular that she takes her medicines on time. It is exactly for this reason that she refuses to come overseas and instead sends the kids who are now in their Teens. She does not miss out on her monthly medical check up with the same doctor she went 23 summers ago.

I keep talking to her and the kids almost every day and do visit Bangalore once every quarter. As for me, I’m happy that God has been kind to me for answering my Prayers to bring back Padma to the main stream even though we really do not enjoy a normal husband-wife relationship. I just miss out on the pampering stuff !!! but seem to have got used to it now. As for the kids, they love their mom and as they have grown up, take very good care of her and do make all efforts to further consolidate the family so much so that its impossible for any outsider to even get even a little doubt about the ailment. Looking back, I'm happy the kids have matured to understand their mother despite a traumatic childhood and Padma now is lucky as she has the whole family toeing in line to make her lead a normal life. The best part in this is that Padma over the years understood her ailment and has seen the importance of taking the medicines at the right time without anyone telling her. This is the most difficult part of such patients as they never accept that they are suffering and hence never take their medicines. In this situation; it becomes very difficult to manage the ailment. People with such ailments need 'Empathy' and patience rather than Sympathy. It seem to have worked well in my case.
So far so good." Srinivasa

While the story is full of hope, if one thinks of the children our heart reaches out for them.
It is certain that with an estimate of one in hundred as with psychological problems, each one of us would have come across similar situations in some way or other, if not with the same seriousness. We all remember as children how when we came face to face with such a person, we were either confused or anxious. We called them 'ondhu thara' (one type) to explain. As kids we were even afraid of them. We had no idea how to deal with them when we found that it is sometimes impossible to reason with them. Often they sounded very cynical and sarcastic.

Obviously, It is very hard for children affected to accept that the mother they have is not same as the other mothers around them. They notice that other mothers do things together with their children, fuss over them. Soon they learn that something is missing. There is no depth in their conversations. It also dawns on them that they would need to take care of their mother in some ways. Sadly their childhood is taken away from them. They are not sure how to talk to other family members. As they grow older they learn that they cannot depend on their mother to take decisions. Their grandmother or an aunt becomes their mother. On the positive side the siblings become a very strong team and also develop deep friendships often.

It is also upsetting for the immediate family that the person acts contrary for no reason. Often they are not in the present or do they seem to be with it. It is not easy to take care of such persons without total commitment and community support as it is a daily struggle and sadly some families give up.

When I think of all this, I feel very happy share the story Srinivasa tells so well with others. This is a story where compassion and true goodness of a person, as well as tremendous family support has held the family together and children have shown ability to cope and have overcome many testing moments. I have met his children briefly and was impressed with their demeanour. I wish them all the luck.

There are many issues to talk about, how the society and the government could provide support be one of them. I found that this website covers mental health issues very well.
http://www.cmha.ca/BINS/content_page.asp?cid=3-100

Another which is a bit tougher to read. First Person Account: Paranoid Schizophrenia—A Daughter's Story

Sriram sent me the following links which is worth reading as they are very positive:

http://www.keralaglobal.com/news/readFullNews.php?ID=104498

http://www.mindbeautiful.com/home.html.

(My earlier blogs which talk about challenged children.
http://nidhiramblers.blogspot.com/2008/04/there-are-responsibilities-that-all-of.html
http://nidhiramblers.blogspot.com/2008/03/shashanks-story.html)

Meet the new Disney Princess- a Fairy Tale.

2008-08-03T16:22:00.000-07:00

Leela went on a trip to the Disneyland in California last week. This trip was treat given to her by her parents as she had just turned four.

She had great time, while she did not take the rides with her brothers Neil and Nikhil she entered the sleeping beauty castle and saw many princesses of the fantasy land.

She wished she could be a Princess like the ones she had seen. Minnie mouse heard her and told her to join a dance and MAY BE she would be selected to be one.

Leela joined the dance and did very well and was selected to be a princess for the day!

Leela the little princess for the day.

Then Minnie saw her sister Rhea and
wanted the royal crown tried on Rhea and it fitted perfectly!

Well almost!

Then Leela walked around and had a wonderful time. She sat with her parents, and grand parents and waited for the parade to start.

Soon the parade started and she watched many wonderful floats go by!

Then suddenly a princess standing on the float saw Leela and asked her to join the parade.

The memorable day ended with the sleeping beauty castle lit up and as the fireworks started Leela walked back to gate very very happy. (Leela does not like fireworks!)

Age appropriate holiday for Nidhi.

2008-07-29T18:53:00.000-07:00

Recently I turned 70. Nandini & Raxit and Rohini & Sundeep gave me a special treat to celebrate the event ! All of us, a total of ten were at the Disneyland at LA. Some, I am sure, would be surprised that a seventy-year-old was given such a treat. But Nandini thought that it was appropriate. In fact, I had a whale of a time at the Indiana Jones ride. (Which means I was scared!)

I suppose I should go back to the time I turned sixty. Nandini with Raxit had arranged a trip to Yellowstone national park to celebrate my birthday. We were six of us then, Rohini and Sundeep joined us from Houston. Thanks to progress in medicine, getting to be sixty is no more considered a notable achievement. In the US you cannot even retire without a special reason, in fact they do not even think you are old.

It was different in India in the early days. The Shastabdhi poorti function when you turn sixty is also an abbreviated marriage ceremony which the children organise and the grand children have fun by sitting with the grandparents through the ceremonies. I do not know if the ritual has a Vedic sanction.

I suppose after this celebration the man would actually be all set to relinquish his worldly responsibilities and go on a pilgrimage with his wife. Could even be called a second honeymoon, except that there was no first honeymoon those days. In fact, it probably would be the first time the couple would go on their own for a holiday! For some reason we did not have this ceremony for my parents.

Walking on the fragile volcanic areas around the hot springs or having the darshan of the old faithful ( I had seven of them) was as fulfilling as a religious ceremony for me. Just being under blue skies and gazing at a horizon which stretched for miles in all directions was awe inspiring. I had just then decided to retire from my working life and the surroundings added to my feelings of being as vulnerable as the earth below our feet at the hot springs.

I am also reminded of two more events which influenced me. One was the view I had of a lone leafless tree surrounded by snow at a resort on Lake Superior one early winter morning. Hari and Anita had driven me to this resort, another treat I still cherish. I felt one with the tree at that moment. I thought it was mutely waiting having served what I deemed a purpose in life.
All of us want to know the purpose of life in general and more importantly our own. It is a very a confusing period when you have stopped working and are out of your comfortable routines.

Then it was the trip to Badrinath with Raghu and Vatsala. The Nara Narayana range behind the temple was very enticing. We did trek for an hour with Rohini behind the temple and could see the edge of the glacier. I had heard the story of Adi Shankara walking on towards the peak never to be seen again. It made sense to me at that moment that he decided to move on, and I did indeed feel the pull of the mountains. In fact in early days a Badriyaatra could well be the last one!

Having now reached another landmark, I realise the last ten years have been fulfilling in a very significant way. From a family of six we are ten. We are also fortunate to have been adopted by many more and thus we really have a much larger family. ( We do miss those who are no more with us.)

I have now realised that the lonely tree was trying to teach me acceptance of my circumstances. The enticing Himalayas were really telling me that I could walk away from routines and still find a meaning to my life.

Vedanta tells us to learn to be with the present always and experience it. There is no better way to do this than being with small children. Rhea who is seven months old has taught us acceptance. Every change in her mood is like a law for us. Leela who is just four does not let me think of either the past or the future when I am taking care of her.

I had the similar feelings when I was with Neil and Nikhil while they were playing with the waves at the Newport beach. There was no way I could move away from the present while keeping an eye on them and the same time having all the fun with them. I am indeed grateful to have the opportunity to learn from my 'baby' gurus.

Yes it was a fun holiday. I must add that I did participate in a Pooja (This would have pleased my elders!) at the Malibu temple and it was indeed wonderful to be with Malathi, Hari and Ambi who brought back so many memories of my younger days.

I must also mention about the dream wedding of Menaka and Chris we attended at an exclusive club on the Santa Monica beach. Wonderful setting for a simplified Hindu style marriage. Rama and Gopi, parents of Menaka had invited us as early as last year. This, in fact gave Nandini the idea to combine our family holiday with our participation at the wedding.

It was wonderful to be reminded of from our Pune days meeting Varadraj & Sharat, Geeta and Vinay and a very delightful Riya. The walk inside the Cal Tech campus was very enjoyable as was the attempt by the 4 year old Riya to scare me by pretending to read a book full of monsters and crocodiles! Nice also to meet Ram and Shakku there and dear neice Priya also at the wedding.

It was also a pleasure to spend time with Nandini and Raxit's friends Ketan and Shilpa, their parents and daughter Priya, and be part of Shaan's second birthday party.

It was indeed a good way to celebrate the commencement of living my bonus years. It is my first year and I hope I am able to retain the childlike enthusiasm my grand children have taught me thru the years which are given to me.

(I saw this news the next day we returned from LA: Earthquake Forces Evacuation Of Disneyland Rides. A 5.8 magnitude earthquake located near Chino Hills struck at 11:45 AM today and resulted in the evacuation of all attractions at the Disneyland Resort. This is standard operating procedure for Disneyland, and it is unknown when the attractions will reopen.

I think we were indeed lucky, It would have been a real let down to come back from the park without taking all those rides! Also worrying considering that we had kids ranging from 7 months to 8 years with us.)

Remembering the departed!

2008-07-06T14:16:00.000-07:00

I was surfing channels on TV and had glimpse of a girl featured in Oprah's channel. She was on 'Oprah' talk show because she had written her own Obituary. A little odd, especially as she looked quite healthy. Any way I got distracted either by Leela or Rhea and missed watching it.

Also I had recently seen in the Vancouver Sun (at the hair cutting saloon!) pages titled 'Remembering' devoted to obituaries. The inserts were well written and with feeling about the people who had departed. A really a nice way to remember the departed.

Actually, I was prompted to write this blog while reading the 'remembering' pages again yesterday. They give us a very good view of the society here in Vancouver. While brief but poignant some of these biographies were even witty. Most of the departed were in their nineties and eighties, world war II veterans, men and women in various walks of life, in different social status and who had contributed to the society in their own individual ways. Many were immigrants from the old world as well from other parts of Canada. There were a few obituaries with pictures of the departed as an young person in addition to the recent ones . A nice way to show how gracefully they had aged with time!

Some inserts also inform us about a memorial service and 'celebration of life of the departed' that are arranged. They also include sincere thank you notes to those who had helped. Mostly flowers are declined with a suggestion that donations are made in the name of the deceased. While many had passed on peacefully, the type of donations suggested showed that some had gone through problems of health. Alzheimer's, heart problems and cancer had taken their toll. As one would expect, there were those who departed young, sadly to cancer or accidents or reasons unknown to us. Sad to read about an young man of 20 in these pages and about a nice looking young man in his thirties, who was a 'gentle person with no enemies but himself '.

It did bring me back memories of those who had departed from my life. It also reminded me of the recent email Sriram had forwarded me. It was written by his uncle and my good friend Prasan on 'fathers day' and it started with a lovely piece about his father who would have passed away quite a while ago. Wonderful to see nice sentiments (Pithru Devo Bhava) expressed after so many years.

It also reminded me about what, during our Vedanta classes, Jayshree our neighbour in Bangkok had said. When we asked her to comment about the lessons she had learnt from Vedanta, she said that while she understood more about our situation as human beings after attending the classes, she still could not deal with the fact that she was not there with her father when he passed away recently. She echoed, what I term the NRI's lament, our indescribable feelings about not being near our dear ones at the time of their passing away. I know time is a healer, but such wounds run deep.

Anyway, I was curious to see what this 30 year old had to say about her own 'obituary'. This is what she had to say. ' I pretended I was an 80-year-old woman looking back at my life, and I didn't want to have any regrets. So being older, looking back, what would I change?'
Interesting approach, you may like to read more about Jennifer. Here is the link: 'http://www.oprah.com/tows/slide/200701/20070125/slide_20070125_284_112.jhtml

Then, as you may surely guess, I wondered what I would write if asked to write my own.
Then I saw this obituary: '... Husband, Father, Grandfather, Brother and Friend. Doug enjoyed life to the fullest and was enjoying a game of golf with close friends when his heart failed.' He was 80 years old. Can anything be better than this?

Vancouver reminded me of Bangkok!

2008-07-01T10:17:00.000-07:00

People who have been to both Vancouver and Krungthep Mahanakorn will surely think I am hallucinating. Well it was not the city but the traffic which reminded me of Bangkok. It was hot last Saturday after a long and persisting cold weather. I thought happily that it is almost like Bangkok. We were on the highway at that time as I thought of Bangkok and minutes later the traffic came slowly to a halt! We had just seen a police car parked on the emergency lane. Probably that should have cautioned me. Anyway as we waited patiently, I said to myself, it is really like Bangkok now. We were stuck in a spot from which there was no way out.

Sundeep who was in the other car walked across to tell Rohini that he had heard on the radio that a car had caught fire ahead of us but we should soon be moving . We finally did move after an hour and it was another hour before we gained normal speed. We learnt that cars had backed up for eight kms. and were merging to one lane. Finally, as we entered a bridge, I saw the spot where the vehicle had caught fire. To me, it was not clear why that lane was not open. May be due to the oil slick which had spilled out of the burning vehicle.

It was also surprising, to see the traffic moving very slowly hours later when we returned, luckily we were going in the opposite direction.

It is a mystery why we were not diverted to another road earlier. Actually the police diverted the traffic later once the ramp we were on became full! People were in good humor and joked that the police should have diverted the traffic earlier instead of giving tickets to those who tried to get off the ramp by driving in the wrong direction! The radio kept encouraging us by announcing that one lane was clear and the traffic had started moving again! They also consoled us by speaking about four more roads which were slow or non-moving. It seemed that the entire Vancouver population was on the road for their first sunny weekend.

It also taught us to carry some water and some snacks in future. We were all hungry and no enterprising vendor to sell us water, mango and peanuts. I did not hear the radio channel talking to drivers stuck in traffic as they do in Bangkok. It would have been interesting to learn how the Canadians reacted to bad traffic situations. Probably some traffic policemen should visit Bangkok and learn a few things about how it is handled in surely a more experienced city.

This reminds me (there you go!) of my 12 working years of being in the infamous Bangkok traffic. I remember I had written a very emotional piece about it at that time! My record being stuck in one spot is five and a half hours on the expressway just after entering it! I suppose I could have walked out and taken a bus. Luckily I did not as that was the day when the whole city was one mass of jammed cars on roads. People took several hours to reach home and many missed flights! I do not recall if they ever gave a reason for this colossal grid lock, but I faintly recall that it was the day that the British Prime minister Margaret Thatcher was in town!

Anyway, I kept busy reading my office papers, eating my lunch which I carried and had a nap! I claim to have personally supervised the making of the expressways, tollways and highways in Bangkok as each meter was made. It was my luck that the road to the factory was always work-in-progress. My jocular comment that I would retire the day the traffic flow to my work was smooth also proved to be prophetic.

I calculate that in those 12 years I have spent around 20 -25 percent of my waking life in Bangkok traffic, around 50% of it stationary. That is two to three years of just sitting in a car. On hindsight I suppose I could have used the time better than I did. Apart from thinking about work I tried to while away my time with inane activities. One was to count cars which were with interesting number plates. One day it was to count cars with serial numbers, the next day it was double numbers. I am not sure if seeing a car with the same number as my car or four numbers of one kind, had any bearing on my luck for the day, but I used to look for them.

Another ploy to kill time was to note down all those one liners on the rear of the car. I do not recall any of them at this moment, but some were interesting, especially for their quaint English. But there were no 'Mother's Blessing' or 'Let the face of the evil eyed one be blackened' we see on Indian trucks. I suppose you would expect similar sentiments on the backs of the sleek Mercedes and BMW, but I did not see any. The pick up trucks here had some macho or sexy images painted on them.

One frustrating memory was to watch traffic light changing to green without the cars moving an inch. Another was the split second switch of light which allowed just one car to pass. It was maddening when an unwary driver did not react to this change of light and missed an opportunity to move on and thus held us back waiting right behind him! The worst was to just miss the green light and then wait forever for it to change back again.

It is said, I am sure it is true, that people get off the car for a meal in a road side cafe while waiting for the traffic to move. I have seen once a lady get on to a taxi ahead of us in traffic and getting off after half an hour at the same spot. I am not sure if she had to pay!

It also had its moments of drama when a woman developed labour pain and had to be rescued by a helicopter and taken to a hospital. It needed a lot of innovation to create space to land the helicopter. I read recently that a few policemen are trained to help women deliver as they are stuck in traffic on the way to the hospital. A skill the Indian police would be needing soon, if not already, in the cities. Here is a story which tells it well
'http://www.asiaone.com/Motoring/News/Story/A1Story20080418-60549.html'

While these are heroic stories, we also read about Police going berserk, shooting at vehicles whose drivers violated traffic rules. There is also a sad story of one traffic policeman going literally mad at an intersection and dancing wildly on the streets. It surely is a tough job to be a traffic police as it is frustrating to be stuck in a traffic jam in this city of angels.

Do Birds and Bees educate?

2008-06-10T05:44:00.000-07:00

You may wonder what this septuagenarian is up to? I agree that at our age sex should be on our mind only when filling in the immigration form at the airport and our time should be spent on Vedanta contemplating more serious issues. But not so easy as it is all pervading, as news on the main sheet of a newspaper or as a brief note tucked away in the inner pages. For instance Rediff India Abroad, reminds you daily how to keep hale and hearty and also boost your brain with much researched and recommended morning activities not consisting of either yoga or art of living. In fact, these are the top emailed features since long. One need not even speak of the TV and the Bollywood and Tollywood movies.

Not to worry, I am only concerned about the controversy that is raging in India. Sex Education in schools. A little late to be getting into the fray as I see a lot has been written about it in the papers, not only in India, but in the west.

It was perplexing to see in the papers some months ago that the CM of Karnataka was opposed to SE as it was not in our culture! He did not elaborate then, but as he is now out of office, he has the time to explain now. Perhaps not, it is proven that most politicians have convenient memories and are prone to forget, statements and even promises made!

I remember asking Tara at that time whether her school, which is an international one, had this subject in the curriculum. She said yes, but was not aware of the details. My intention was to send a copy to the CM hoping that it could help him to re-evaluate his earlier decision and perhaps change his mind. Well it remained as an intention, as Tara kept forgetting to get me the details. Then, two things brought the subject back to my blogging mind.

One, was when a friend expressed shock after reading about a mother presenting a sixteen year old son with a packet of condoms on his birthday. Quite shocking and one wonders where indeed was the father. However, I cannot imagine this type of conversation with fathers as well.
This I thought was the ultimate form of SE.

Two, when the controversy shifted to Maharashtra recently. 'The Maharashtra state education minister had recently announced that sex education would be made compulsory for schoolchildren. However, this announcement is being greeted with heated opposition by other legislators in the House. There is a debate going on currently about the advisability of providing basic sex education to school children in the Indian state of Maharashtra.'

Obviously one can expect a lot of reaction. Here is one such: (It is somewhere in the web!) India has among the highest incidence of rape in the world. Moreover, not a single day goes by without newspapers reporting at least one case of sexual harassment or molestation.
I do not see a connection between this and sex education, but he does. I remember he does speak about 'taboos' and a lack of healthy interaction between boys and girls. Which I suppose is to be addressed, but his idea that this is achieved through sex education in schools is naive.

Then we see a claim that sex education brings down the incidence of HIV/AIDS. I suppose true, I recall crude ads advising safe sex on the National TV during a cricket match. One hopes all those careless truckers, their target audience, watch the five day tests. Here is also a link to a bizarre attempt at educating general public.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44IFYB1icx0

I know that it is a different world now. The years after the sixties, so called period of liberal attitudes, has changed the ways of the western world and is now moving to some portions of the east. Hence going back the memory lane may not be of much help. That was an era where it was more like 'If birds and bees with their tiny brains needed no sex education, humans with a more complex brain would definitely learn', and learn we do.

I suppose I should add this about parental concern. While no conversation ever took place, I remember discovering in my teens, two books which surfaced in my father's book shelf. One was about VD now STD, which was gruesome and another about 'Brahmacharya', it was all about self control from sinful thoughts and of course the ill effects of 'self abuse', the outcome being death by 'consumption'. Weird from today's point of view. I suppose it was my father's way of educating me with the books and knowledge available at that time.

Now for the surprise! It might appear that I am a supporter of SE in Indian schools. Actually, I am one with the netas for once. I do not think it is desirable to have SE as a part of school curriculum. I read that the text books published for the subject were very crude and were rejected. In addition, it is certain that there would not be many trained teachers available for this sensitive subject. I think we do not have the requisite culture yet, I am talking about our present culture and not of the times of Vatsayana or the erotic temple friezes.

I believe that many parents are worried and confused. They are not sure how to handle the situation in a fast changing world as their children reach adolescence. We all know that children are more aware now. There is also peer pressure on them, especially for Indian children away from home, exposed to different and in our view, permissive cultures.

Obviously, sensible books which parents can give to children when they feel the time is right would be of immense help. Very necessary especially for those parents who are shy or old fashioned to talk about it. (Definitely not the type of books my father chose.) Conversations with our children could perhaps focus on the more important aspect of values. It is also about our own lifestyle and habits.
I saw this on the Belief net:
Don't worry that children never listen to you. Worry that they are always watching you. -Robert Fulghum

I am quoting in full below what I consider as sensible:

Recently, there has been a great amount of discussion on the introduction of sex education in India. Naturally, this debate has been very heated. If anyone was thinking that sex education can be introduced in India without any resistance from society, he was living in a fools paradise. Three states of India have already banned this education and CBSE had to defer its plans to introduce it from 2007-2008 session.

Now, the real question that arises is what is the real problem behind all this fuss? I think, the real problem is the word "SEX" itself. Indian society is still not prepared to discuss these topics in the open with its children.

The main problem is the manner in which this education is being tried to introduce in this country. The educational planners ( or mis-planners) are trying to implement the western system of sex education as it is. What they are not able to see (or are trying not to see) is the cultural difference between west and India.

Sex education is being introduced as a separate subject. This is causing all the problems. Indian society is not able to accept it as a subject which can be taught to their kids. Actually, some of the topics related to reproduction in human beings already exist in the science books of children. No one raises objection over that. Because children learn these topics as a scientific terminology, which does not effect the moral character of society.

Wouldn't it be more appropriate if we introduce the sex education topics in other subjects instead of introducing it as a separate subject all together? I think it will be much better to integrate sex education with other subjects instead of introducing it as a different subject. In this way, the goal of providing knowledge about sex to children can be achieved without any resistance from Indian society.

Satya http://www.vshiksha.com/user/1/

June 15, 2008
Samachar/NDTV reports about a revised module on sex education. One hopes that this will meet the needs of educating children more sensibly.

http://publication.samachar.com/pub_article.php?
id=2112259&navname=General%20&moreurl=http://
publication.samachar.com/ndtv/general/
ndtv.php&homeurl=http://www.samachar.com

Some links of interest:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/6928326.stm

http://www.avert.org/aids-picture.php?photo_id=1492

http://www.shvoong.com/law-and-politics/498339-sex-education-india/

http://www.iht.com/articles/2007/05/24/africa/letter.php

http://gateway.nlm.nih.gov/MeetingAbstracts/ma?f=102242304.html

Omnivore's mom's dilemma.

2008-06-06T14:33:00.000-07:00

I read the book 'Omnivore's Dilemma' written by Michael Pollan, here in Vancouver. I am not writing about the book, which is eminently readable and very thought provoking. I have just borrowed the title!

What will you have for breakfast? The question confronts Leela as she gets ready to go to Montessori in the morning. Leela is going to be four soon and while she is not a complete omnivore, she being human, (as defined in Wikipedia) is primarily an omnivore and also opportunistic. An omnivore is defined as the one who eats everything, and she does like a lot of things, but she likes only those that her mother thinks is not suitable for her. Hence there is a drama enacted each day. The same drama continues for Lunch and Dinner as well.

Rohini is a modern mother, who likes to involve Leela in the process of decision making and is also a concerned one about what is right to ingest. She finds it difficult to deal with it as the problem is compounded by the fact that Leela has a brand new sister and we suspect she is being difficult due to sibling jealousy. Luckily it is not anti 'Rhea' but Leela wants to get back to being a child and get all the attention she used to get when she had no competitors.

It is not easy now for a kid to figure out what she would like to eat. There are so many things her taste buds have tried and liked. Many of them are not breakfast material and finally she makes a choice out of the two or three given to her. While it does not please her mother, she gets what she has asked for, however reluctantly. Then there is a problem when she starts nibbling, whatever she chose does not taste the way she imagined it to be! She dawdles over it and frustrates her mother with her sudden lack of interest in eating. She is not hungry any more or she does not like it! She may also regresses to being a baby and asks to be fed and it is already very late and they should be leaving for school.

In these moments of tension, as a grandfather, as profound as my experience is supposed to be, I am unable to give Rohini a 'mantra' to help. I am hoping Tara who is joining us soon will be able to do it with her grandmotherly wisdom!

However, trying to see if I can make some helpful suggestions, I tried to go back to being a kid of four myself. It was simpler those days. I do not remember being asked this question. Any way the choices were not that many.

I quote from the website of Michael Pollan: 'The omnivore’s dilemma has returned with a vengeance, as the cornucopia of the modern American supermarket and fast-food outlet confronts us with a bewildering and treacherous food landscape'. I remember walking to one of these super-mega stores and was bewildered by the choices. The way it is here, you have to take your children along and you do get persuaded to buy things with different tastes and give it a try. I cannot imagine the effect this has on the taste bud of small kids. In any case they get hooked to some taste you have absolutely no clue.

I remember as kid we had a village boy working and staying with us. Once I offered him some kind of savory which I was munching. He would have none of it, his logic was that it did not fill his stomach like the Raagi he invariably ate and he did not want to corrupt his taste buds with what we ate, as he would not be able to get it all the time. I really admired his self-control.

There are of course controls parents do try. They are denied Coke or Pepsi for instance! I remember Neil when he was five or six wishing that he could grow up fast. I was curious to know what he wanted to do once he grew up. Of course, as you can guess, he said he would do whatever he wanted. I asked him what, for instance, he would like to do? He said 'I can drink Coke'.

The argument I get is that they would get hyper with sugar in the drink. A reasonable argument as you have to deal with hyper active kids differently here than what we would be meted out those days!

We have a proverb in Kannada which says, what you eat is your choice, what is worn needs others approval! But it is clear making a choice in this country is not easy. I remember that during the festival of 'Janmashtami' it was fun time after the festival but a tough one before that. We would see a lot of savouries prepared and stored during the week prior to the festival, but we had to wait till after the puja before we were able to eat it. Supposed to help our self control, but it was hell for us children.

Imagine the torture kids here goes through, they have to wait till they have grown up to eat all those forbidden stuff they are exposed to, not just a few days of wait we had. Then again they see kids in the class drink and eat all that cool stuff which are forbidden to them.

I wonder, as they sometimes accuse us, are we being mean to them? I know it is for their good, but how does one convince a four year old! You could reason with them, may work for a while but not too long. Bribe them with other things, no idea how good it is long term. Divert them with other ideas, they are not so easily diverted, these modern day kids are smart. We can punish them, a real no-no according to me.

It seems to be a real tough dilemma to resolve. You can see why I am waiting for Tara more eagerly than normal!

Freej!

2008-06-03T21:30:00.000-07:00

(That is how I used to hear it called, till I read about Refrigerators! This is one more from my pre-blogging days!

Raji asked me on the day they were leaving ‘why have you stopped writing or did you stop sending them to us?’ I think it was a ploy to keep me busy, as I would surely be missing my grand children who were with us for the last two months! Life becomes really intense with kids around us and it is totally dull when they leave.

Today being home alone and bored I opened the refrigerator looking for a drink. All I could find was a can of beer stuck in an undignified manner between two plastic containers. I opened the freezer to chill the beer and was shocked to see three idlys in a transparent plastic container. Being unprepared, I could not stomach the sight of normally steaming soft idlys huddled in a box freezing! I had read gruesome stories about psychopaths using refrigerators to store dismembered bodies and that the mostly unmourned Idi Amin had kept severed heads in a fridge. While there is really no comparison between the two, staring at these innocent looking idlys stirred my south Indian soul to no end.

So thanks to Raji here I am trying to write about my encounter with Refrigerators, a boon to humankind. I read that there is one in almost every American household and I am sure also in most European homes and the rest of the world busy catching up. It is indeed a modern miracle that has changed life mostly for the better with some odd exceptions!

I am only talking about it as a home appliance to keep food cold. I will not talk of its use as a message board and so on. Neither am I going to examine other types used for Labs. Raghu possibly would love to talk about it. I am also not concerned with its technology, refrigerators that work on propane, thermo electric principles, on solar energy or the various refrigerants especially the eco friendly non-CFC varieties! May be Meghana could tell us about her special experiments in oxford on natural refrigeration! However, I am particularly indebted to refrigerators as it made my continued stay in Bangkok possible as 'Wireforms' sell parts to its manufacturers.

My first encounter with a Fridge was at my Bombay aunt’s home. Surprisingly it was in the storeroom and not the living room as was the fashion those early days. I was eleven years old at that time and was happy to see a machine that made ice at home. I recall taking out ice cubes surreptiously to suck on and that while the water was colder from the fridge I still preferred the 'cooja' water. However eating cold alphonso mangoes was heavenly. I also remember that storing cooked food in them was a no- no! It was 'ulupu' to store cooked food in it. I do not know how to explain this, except that we never stored cooked food those times.

Another encounter I remember was almost two decades later when I saw it on display at my colleagues wedding. He brought it home along with his bride and it was strangely symbolic as she was rather cold to us, his bachelor friends!

Soon it was my turn to buy a fridge and I could afford only the smallest at that time. Anyway I thought it was just right, all we needed was space to store water, milk and of course a few bottles of beer. As you would guess the process of my learning had started! There were more important priorities for storing in the fridge than beer. What about vegetables I was asked, there were umpteen other things that needed place in the fridge. The last straw was when our Bai started storing Dahi and leftovers in the fridge. While this was progress as a taboo was lifted, I was loosing ground or rather space! Tara complicated the situation further by keeping idol of Gods over the fridge. Soon I retreated and switched to rum, frankly as beer had got expensive. But I kept grumbling that only unnecessary stuff was being stored in it! My associating fridge primarily with beer would have made Pavlov happy.

My next real encounter with the refrigerator was in Seattle. I had to actually manage the fridge this time. I somehow shoved in all the curry powders and stuff sent by Tara as it was deep and big. Only problem was to find them again. We also needed space for Neil’s needs. Luckily we moved to a new place and decided to keep both the fridges. The old one was relegated to the garage and all the curry powders and of course Beer would go in there. I had a real problem when Nikhil arrived three years later as I had to create space for more curry and other powders sent again by Tara. I am certain if there is a way of carbon dating curries it could tell us the number of trips we made and when! There was no way Nandini could use the loads of curry powder sent to her.

Another complication in managing these huge cavernous fridges was due to expiry dates printed on the stored items. I had strict instructions to throw away without mercy anything that had passed the expiry date. Raxit told me that it was not worth the risk. I was in constant dilemma, as I would invariably find things that had gone hiding and would reappear only after the date of expiry!

(I think this invention would solve my problem of finding a dignified storage place for my beer and I have don't have to get up for it. Watch this video anyway, it is fun!)

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/445498/robotic_beer_launching_refrigerator
As usual I did a small google search looking for more ideas and found a few interesting trivia. It made my job simple as well. Read on and enjoy my ‘copy and paste’ work on refrigerators!

Some interesting facts copied from the web, Sorry I do not have the link:
-Dr. John Gorrie of Apalachicola, Florida invented mechanical refrigeration in 1851.
Electric refrigerators were first sold to American housewives in 1916, at a cost of $900.
In 1956, 80% of all U.S. households had a refrigerator, but only 8% of British households had one.
-The value of a new refrigerator rests on more than the initial price tag. The annual operating costs on the Energy Label can be considered the second price tag. Compare models similar in size and features.
-Refrigerators manufactured since 1997 are required by the Department of Energy to use no more energy than two light bulbs in order to qualify for the Energy Star rating. This translates into a 200% more efficient refrigerator than those of the Harvest Gold era.
-If your refrigerator/freezer experiences a power failure or malfunction, keep the door closed. A full freezer will remain frozen for about 48 hours; a half-full freezer about 24 hours. Refrigerated items will last 4-6 hours depending on the warmth of the surrounding room temperature.
-Keep the condenser coils clean to ensure an efficient refrigerator. This should be done yearly. They can be found usually at the back lower compartment. Use a gentle brush, so as not to disturb the tubing.
-To eliminate odors, place a bowl of cotton balls soaked in plain vanilla extract in the fresh food section. ( I hope it works for Indian food!)

Dishwashers--The American 'Bai'

2008-06-02T15:17:00.000-07:00

(I wrote about Dishwashers a while ago. Here it is as a part of my blog.)

Dishwashers in India are mostly the living kind, known as 'Bai' in Pune, even though they are expected to work like machines. I recall that while at my uncles' in Bombay, I was eleven, I was asked at dinner to eat fast as 'Rama' would be there anytime. I had no clue as to what they were talking about, but hurry up I did. Soon discovered that Rama was the contract dish washer, who walked in at 9 PM, worked super fast as evidenced by the noise he made while dealing with the metallic vessels. (Using ceramics was not used in our orthodox families.) Time was the essence of his contract and if we were not ready, too bad, he would wash whatever was there and move on.

I remember that Periamma, my grandmother, would wash vessels she used for her cooking and her dinner plate separately! It was a bit different for us, we were expected to wash our dinner plates, but a maid would wash the cooking vessels. It was sometimes my lot to rinse these vessels after the maid had washed them and stack them in the kitchen to dry. While I would do this grudgingly I did not even remotely imagine that there were machines out there to take care of this uninspiring chore!

My first encounter with the Dishwasher was at Cindy’s parents home back in 1969. I was tutored before I went to the States that if invited for dinner at an American home, you were not to just wash your hands and relax after dinner. You were expected to wash the dishes as well! So, after dinner while there was no need to wash my hands, I dutifully picked up my plates and the cutlery to the sink and washed them clean and looked around for a rack to keep them! Jean who was watching my heroic effort suggested that I put them in the dishwasher. I had no clue as to where the blessed thing was until she pulled down the door and I saw the insides of the dishwasher for the first time! I placed the plate on a rack and that was that! I wondered why she wanted me to put the clean plate there, but I assumed that this was as good a place as any for the dishes to dry!

The story would have ended here if I did not to manage the dishwasher at Nandini’s after Saarung’s birth! I think I think I was irritating my cousin Prasad visiting us at Seattle with endless ‘how to’ (My dishes don’t get clean!) questions about the dishwasher. Luckily for him he saw a program on dishwashers on the TV and called me to watch it and get my answers! By the time I could get there it was almost the end and I could not get much out of it except that dishwashers was a serious subject for study here!

I also spied on how others were loading and managing their dishwashers. I discovered that there were as many ways as there were people! Some loaded dishes till the dishwasher literally choked while others were gentler. Some rinsed vessels with hot water before loading (note this: not after the wash as I used to do at home!) and others in cold water and a few not at all.

I can see the day when a prospective mother-in-law, assuming she still holds sway, asking the potential daughter- in-law to load the dishwasher to check her personality traits and about her family! It could also become an area of potential conflict. I have seen that some vessels do not get cleaned in spite of the prior rinsing. I have a suspicion that the dishwasher has a diabolical sense of humor and throws up later a bit of the muck it has retained.

I also learnt the way the various plates and vessels are to be placed. (For some it is an art form and for others it is as rigid as a ritual!). There was also the embarrassment of discovering in the morning that the detergent was forgotten in the night while starting the dishwasher and certain type of glasses were ruined because they are to be hand washed. However, I loved the way the ceramic wares looked, as good as new, after the wash! The same cannot be said of steel and loading plastics into the washer is a waste of time, water and detergent! I like unloading a dish washer as it is a form of therapy. You must do it early in the morning when the rest of the family is asleep! I find it as sooting as a morning prayer!

I decided to research on my own through the net and was surprised with the discovery that the automatic dishwasher was invented by a woman named Josephine Garis Cochrane! She received an award for her invention at the 1893 World's Fair in Chicago. She designed the machine for the Hotel Industry but today it is practically in every home in the US and is about 2 Billion dollars a year business in machines alone. If one adds the cost of detergents the numbers will be even greater!

I am sure she made the life of an average American much better and deserves a place amongst the great inventors. A machine if invented in India would have been deified on Dussera day and she as the creator would certainly be a goddess! (Or may be not, as the machine would only replace a lowly paid Bai. Curiously I saw an ad for a 'dishwasher' in web and the salary was about nine dollars per hour. That would cover my one round of golf at the pitch and putt!)

If you desire to browse the net there is an enormous amount of Technical and Customer service data (e.g.,“The single most important factor in getting good results is HOT WATER!!”) that would certainly further your knowledge (Veda) on how the machine is being continuously improved to make it almost human!

There is also an astonishing report made in the year 2001 by a Management consultant appointed by one of the States to research the subject of dishwashers and its use, amazingly after more than a century of its invention. It was reported that (quoting from my memory) 40% rinse thoroughly, 35% rinse reasonably and the rest do not rinse at all before loading a dishwasher! I suppose they were more concerned with power and water consumption patterns!

While I do not want to dwell more on all the gems I discovered on the web about dishwashers (may be I will for a small fee!) the one below is really sweet and will surely appeal to all the young mothers who choose to live in the US.
http://www.naturalchild.org/jacquelyn_delaveaga/banana.html

Walking in my Bengalooru!

2008-05-27T22:23:00.000-07:00

This is the third of my walking trilogy. It was written around the same time as the other two, as I travelled from US to Bangkok to Bangalore.

Actually, I have wonderful memories of walks while growing up in Bangalore. Walks with my father accompanied by our dogs as a kid and with friend Mouli or Cousin Rangaraj(Dr) in my younger days . But the walk I experienced as a retiree was different. While walking within Lalbaugh was great, getting into it was a challenge and walking anywhere once the traffic built up was a nightmare!

'Walking in Bangalore from Latha’s apartment to Lalbaugh is pleasant, as it is cooler after a couple of April showers. The dust has settled and it is green again on the main roads that are lined with trees. As you step out of the apartment to a quiet road early in the morning, you choose to walk in the middle of the street as there is no traffic at that time. The lack of traffic in not the only reason you walk in the middle. There are no pavements on some streets and even if there is a pavement they are invariably full of things which are in the process of being removed. The construction material either waiting to be used or cleared, the garbage, parked cars, scooters, cows being milked, cow dung, various types of droppings and the wet lines which start from the compound walls in a narrow stream and culminate prominently on the brown unpaved footpath.

You are reasonably safe walking the middle in the smaller streets as you seem to have equal rights with cars and other wheeled vehicles except possibly the buses! In case you are lost in thought, you get wake up calls as the drivers sound horn with abandon. You can soon learn to distinguish between a friendly warning and a threat.

The story is different on the main roads! I recall the risk I once took at a crossing, I waited patiently for the police who was there near the crossing to stop the flow of traffic to assist me, a pedestrian to cross! I have noticed that the police rarely if ever regulate traffic! They view the whole situation according to their inner nature! The present one was just contemplating the flow very philosophically and let it go unimpeded! Finally getting impatient I took law to my own hands and crossed with impunity by raising my hands! I had seen this work for a woman in a documentary. Soon there was a screeching noise as vehicles braked and then a loud bang! I saw with the corner of my eye that an auto had hit a car! I walked on regardless, while the stupefied policeman walked towards the mayhem. I do not think anyone was hurt as the traffic was slow moving!

In fact it is not just the fault of the drivers or policemen, you do see zebra crossings at main road junctions but pedestrians rarely use them and cross anywhere they like, it is a total free for all. There is no guarantee however that a pedestrian is safe on a zebra crossing. I remember one instance vividly. I was on an Auto (Rickshaw) and was shocked to see that the auto driver did not slow down for a pedestrian who was on the zebra crossing. In fact, he scared him by passing too close to the pedestrian and shouted in kannada which meant 'have you informed your people at home that you are not getting back?' When I tried to educate him about zebra crossing, his reply was typical. 'Auto brake 100% guarantee illa (no)'.

Yes, it is worrying while crossing a road, but you learn to manage as you understand the drift of the traffic and are able to distinguish the different types of drivers and try to read their mind, whether he would veer towards the left or right, as they rarely stop. There seems to be a method to this madness. Still it is your karma if you fail to read their mind correctly and if you happen to be hit while on a zebra crossing, you may die but you are not at fault in the eyes of the law. Some consolation for the bereaved family!

A note: I completed this after my return from Bangalore in May and I forgot about it for a while. It was meant to be somewhat an indulgent study of the differences between the three countries and an attempt to understand why, while we proclaim to the world about our values and keep sending e-mails about being Proud to be Indian, we are not able to bring some basic discipline into our people. But the unfortunate death of our relative Sulochana Prahlad in an accident near her home in Bangalore while going for her morning walk brought it closer home. I realize how near we all could be to becoming victims of these maniacs who ‘hit and drive on’ in callous disregard to what they have wrought. I even had nightmares of their laughter as they recount their narrow escape from being caught to others. For some reason I did not expect to see any remorse in them.'

(I saw this on BBC website. Hope that the horrendous numbers of death by road accidents, 100,000 in 2006, comes down. Date, 8 June 2008))

** Death on India's roads **
Chris Morris reports on India's chaotic and increasingly dangerous roads.
< http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/fr/-/2/hi/south_asia/7431714.stm >

Walking experience continues: in Bangkok

2008-05-26T11:59:00.000-07:00

This is a continuation of my 'Walking experience' blog. Most of it written in the first year of the twentyfirst century! I thought let me sound a little pompous here. Crossing over to the new century seems like an important achievement!

'While you love the walks in North America, you wish for a warmer weather. you want to walk freely without having to wear all those heavy clothes.

Soon your wish to have warmth is granted as you are back again in Bangkok! Eager for a walk, you step out and realise that you have forgotten it is school time, the Soi (street) is full of cars, polluting the air as they wait to get into the two schools located next to each other. Thais normally drop off their children to school in cars. It is not just a status symbol, I have heard it said that it also a fear for the safety of their children!

Anyway you decide to continue the walk and as you get out of the apartment building. You are blocked by a mobile food stall parked on the pavement. In addition the electric poles with signboards fixed across them and barriers placed at the entrance of buildings also share the path. As you duck and weave your way down the Soi the pavement gradually narrows down to half a foot width!

At the junction you can notice that the policeman is concentrating on evacuating the soi choked with cars and as a pedestrian you understand you have low priority, you take a judicious chance to cross in between cars. The trick is to step out of the pavement just behind the car that has passed as there is some gap from the oncoming car. Not a big risk as the drivers are generally considerate here. I would not recommend it in Bangalore. An electric pole finally blocks the tapering pavement you are forced to step out on to the road. You have to be very careful here; there are darting motorcyclists who hate to slow down and there could even be a big van bearing down on you!

You walk past half finished buildings waiting for a better time now used as a garbage dump! Ugly tall buildings overshadow the nice old Thai style houses! The poles on the Soi support wires of various shapes and sizes. Some of them hang so low they are at your shoulder level. You wonder as to how both telephones and power supplies work as they do! You do see some odd plastic bags on the pavement, but still consider the Soi as reasonably clean! You are able to walk close to the compound walls, as there are no odd smells or tell tale stains you see in my garden city in India.

There are only a few pedestrians around, as generally Thais do not like to walk, and it is mostly the domestic help and the expatriates living close to the school who walk. Once you reach the main road, the pavements are wider again and a little better. They are also free from vendors early in the morning. It is a different story later in the day.

Once on the main road, you are reminded how, one day you had watched with horror an old lady let go of the wheelchair she was pushing gently, as she could not keep up with it as it suddenly sped down the slope. The wheelchair hit the road with a jerk as the junction had a small step! The poor young girl’s neck had snapped back and she had winced with pain. Apparently no serious damage done as they started moving again! It definitely is not easy for the wheelchairs in spite of the good intentions. The slopes are too steep and at some points width is just enough for a motorbike wheel and often telephone booths block their path! There is no way people on motorized wheel chairs can use these pavements on their own!

While you appreciate the efforts made to make the pavement ‘walker’ friendly. The pavement is not always level, bricks jut out and are loose at some points. I have noticed that blind persons walk on the road feeling the edge of the pavement with their sticks, they prefer to take this risk as walking on the irregular pavement is more dangerous! You are also cautioned about the green buses that bear down the main roads at great speed trying to beat the traffic lights as they turn from Green to red! Luckily there are a number of bridges for pedestrians to cross! But if you are old and infirm it is better you stay at home as there are hardly any pedestrian crossings at the ground level.

It is unfortunate that while the intention seems to be there, you see a lack of concern by the people who designed these roads and carelessness by those who made them. It seems that the much-vaunted Asian values are missing when it concerns the poor pedestrian! In spite of all this you conclude that walking is still reasonably safe and a pleasure if you learn the ways and are careful! Of course you must also love to sweat in the sweltering heat!'

I have not been walking so much these days, but I suppose I should add some pictures of soi 15 sukumvit to this blog when I return . I love this freedom to keep adding and editing a blog.

A Walking Experience!

2008-05-25T21:45:00.000-07:00

"Normally it is expected to be a pleasure! So it was near Nandini’s home in Klahanie, Issaquah in the north west of USA.

January is very cold for walks in Klahanie and is also lonely. You wear heavy clothes and are forced to walk in a brisk pace to beat the cold! The surroundings are beautiful and distant snow-capped hills entice you to pause a while in admiration. The wide concrete pavements lined with pretty trees are level. The joints are filled and blended so that the baby strollers have a smooth surface all through. The pavement joins the road in measured slopes to ensure that motorized wheel chairs move smoothly and join the roads gently. Soon you get used to the clean pavements and spotting an odd piece of litter begin to upset you!

On lucky days when the sun is out a few young mothers take their children out in their strollers or in tow, a few walk their dogs as well. You are so happy to see people you break out in a smile and wave at them!

Crossing a street is easy, as cars stop as soon as they see you stepping out of the pavement. Once about to cross, you step back to let a car pass. But the driver stops and waves you on and it takes a few seconds for you to react but he waits! Sometimes they anticipate and stop before you even step out!

Once, while waiting patiently at a small crossing for the lights to change an old lady appears on the other side and presses a button on the pole and soon the flow of cars is stopped as the light turns red! You feel embarrassed as you discover one on your side and are impressed with the power a poor pedestrian is given! You feel tempted to play with the traffic, making cars stop to cross and re-cross, you could go on forever!

You marvel at the effort that has gone into to make walking a pleasure and safe for the very few who choose to walk or even those confined to a motorized wheel chair! You are truly impressed the day you see a bus driver wait patiently for a person on a wheel chair maneuver to get on to a bus and help him only to the extent needed. You wonder whether these wonderful values are the result of their culture, their economic strength or is it just their fear of being sued!"

These paragraph's are from my pre-blogging days and came up again recently as I was dusting my computer files! I have lost many files to virus attacks on the hard disc, but luckily a few of them survived and I am tempted to put them into my blog. Thus they may live a little longer.

I am now walking in Vancouver west which is not a gated community like Klahanie but is well planned and maintained. It is not exactly downtown but is on the fringes. I am very impressed with the wide avenues and beautiful homes. Again I wonder as to what is it that makes these cities so livable and average citizen friendly. Is it again just money? I do not think so.

The area is considered a good while not posh! I could compare it to better parts of Sukumvit in Bangkok or Jayanagar in Bangalore. I have seen other parts of Vancouver which are not as good. Even then the foot paths are stroller and wheel chair friendly. Bus drivers drive carefully and are friendly and polite, well most of them!

Gayathri ‘US Yaaatra’.

2008-05-15T20:07:00.000-07:00

19 may,2008

Nidhi:
I am with Aparna, wondering what is going on! Probably you can call it some sort of Social Anthropology. Anyway best wishes to you from all of us here. I am sure you will be a very good teacher and a focused one! God bless!
Thanks also for mentioning Bisibele bath, I will be disowned by Iyengars here but I prefer Bisebele to Puliogre.
I think you should see this one on Indian food 'www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4A1xfHjyTA' .
I loved it.
I see that in all this ramblings some serious discussions are also happening re Gayathri's yathra, some questions asked and hopefully answered. Invitations being sent for parties. Those who invite should note that it is mandatory that there is a Bollywood dance in the agenda and Ambode with the drinks.

It is clear that Rail travel is postponed to a future date while more destinations are added. I am disappointed as I was thinking big term here. I thought of proposing that we book a bogie to ourselves as there seems to enough numbers to justify this. Raji and her family, Sethu and family included here, also Mohini and Vivek. We should probably hire a Madhwa cook, Gayathri I am considerate here and don't expecct you to cook all the time. If Mukund could be persuaded to join and Aparna can take a few days off from the school, we really can have a great time. We can stop in between to play golf, those who are not keen on golf can take bollywood dance lessons or play scrables. As there is enough talent for music in the group we can arrange concerts at stops on the way and make some money. May be Venki would be required to join to play mridangam for carnatic music, Pt. Ram can accompany Tara on the tabla. If men can be convinced we can even include a Bollydance show with gayathri's choreography. It would be a dream trip! I hope we can do it next year!...Think about it. Cheers

Ram:
And that is a GOOD QUESTION!!
Since Laxmi darts around the globe having breakfast in Berlin, lunch in London, dinner in Delhi and beverages in Bangkok so coming to Seattle for snacks would be a no brainer!!
So it is a done deal. We expect Raji to break away from "kalamkari" for a great week in Seattle while Laxmi continues to dart about the globe while touching base in Seattle as and when his schedule allows. That would simply be great.
Cheers

Gayathri:
Hi!!! Ok, my question is Why can't you? Look, we all belong to the fraternity that believes in the philosophy that calling 2 people to dinner is the same as calling 35 - mohini will vouch for that as that was the sincere advice that tara and i gave her when she arrived in bangkok as a new bride. so i don't think you should get into "feeling like" and "seems so exciting" and such. all you have to do is ask and you shall receive.
ok. now i have to introduce some more lovely lovely people. Raji and laxminarayan are this wonderful couple that were introduced to us by tara and nidhi who were their neighbours zillions of years ago in pune. Raji is this totally committed, highly energetic person that heads the store called dwarka in bangalore. This store has been set up as a suoort for the kalamkari artists whose work is on sale at dwarka. Laxmi heads MICO and is a dynamic as his hyper wife! Their daughter is Meghna and son is Nakul and their son-in-law is Arunabha and all i can say is WOW! They are all wonderful, warm individuals, high achievers - oxford, harvard and such. Mohini & Vivek are in London now but earlier spent 3 years in Bangkok. Vivek is with P&G. Mohini is a physiotherapist by profession and was actively involved with the Red Cross in Bangkok, then continued her studies in London and is currently working with ????. A sweet, sweet couple full of energy and intellect and enthudiasm.
which brings me back to the original question - why can't you join us?
and i have a few more questions:
* we reach seattle on sunday, july 6 and leave for vancouver on tuesday, july 8th? Right? and get back to seattle with all on thursday, july 10th?? Right?
* and is there any need to bring warm clothes? not that i own too many of those, but if i dig deep into the cupboards, i may be able to fish out a jacket or two!
* i know i brought up bollywood in my last email - has that shocked people into toal silence - there have been no replies to that AT ALL! oh my goodness. don't you dare tell me that the thought of a bunch of farangs AND gayathri doing bollywood numbers is that horrifying - actually, it is, but you are not allowed to say so!
ok - have to go now. planning a spot of shopping. y'all be good and keep those mails coming.
and raji laxmi - see you in seattle?? and yes, that is an excellent name for a bollywood movie except that it would be something like "See you in Seattle - doston ki kahani" or such since it is the trend to have these little blurbs under the main title of the movie these days!!!

i can't believe it is our daughters who are bringing all sorts of food into the mail - now bisibele. though I have to agree with apu there and say that what uthra made was pretty awesome.
more coming up!
Cheers.
gayathri

Raji:
Hi U.S. Travellers!!!
The Lakshminarayans really feel like bookings their tickets to the U.S!!! This trip seems so exciting. I wish we could be there in all this fun. Love

Apanra:
Dear All,
Priya, I can totally understand your predicament! I haven't checked mail for 2 days (am on a very very relaxing holiday in Nainital at the moment) and now suddenly I have no idea what's going on. All I got from the mails is tomato rasam and bisi bele bath. Actually I'm not sure if bise bele bath was mentioned or not, and if it wasn't then I think it should so totally be! Ramu uncle, i remember vising your house the last time in the States and stuffing myself on it. Hence, please do add it on the "to eat" list.
I really wish I could have come on this awesome trip. Unfortunately, I will be getting myself qualified to teach. Yes, for those who do not know, I have quit Mercer and am getting my teaching credentials. Figured this would be following in the family's footsteps. But I am sure that just my judging from this mail trail, you are all going to have an incredible time together.
I hope you are all doing well and hope to catch you some other time in the near future.

Love,

Gayathri:
Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday Dear Nidhi, Happy Birthday to you!!!!
Many Many Happy Returns of the Day with Wishes of Health, Wealth, Happiness and Lots of Fun with Relatives & Friends!!!

We had a great time on Tara's bday at this place called Face which has an Indian section and a Thai one. the Indian section is called Hazara and is lovely - good food too.
Ram, Shakku, thanks a ton for the early invite! can I bring my bollywood music collection so that we can have a bollywood theme for the evening - I think i can teach this group a few moves!!!
Let me tell you the history before y'll start hyper-ventitlating there - our school has an annual fundraiser for charitable causes once every 2 years and the middle School teachers put on a show called the MS Follies where we do generally ridiculous stuff and have students pay to make us participate in it. We further send around a collection box during and after the show and collect some more. Well, this year someone had the bright idea of doing a bollywood number - since a number of the apartments in Bangkok have cable that brings in indian tv channels, practically everyone knows bollywood. so, we got this this teacher who is all of 24, a little tiny chap from bangladesh and had him teach us the steps to some medley! 9 male teachers and 9 female teaches doing bollywood - gayathri , the only indian in the group! all i can say is that we did raise a decent amount of money! so after the show, these teachers decided that it was just too much fun and had the guy come in every thursday for a session. i must say it is good fun and pretty good exercise. plus helps to make an ass of yourself in a very energetic and fun way.
what do you think???
st. petersburg to vladivostok - we are so on - just tell me where to meet you guys.
nandini, mukund is just to too sad that he cannot make it to seattle. he will talk to you pretty soon and tell you all about how golf-deprived he is even here!
come on guys - where is all the energy of the initial mails - we need to keep this going!! hurry up!! rajesh, manju: can we do malibu?? Love to all. be good. gayathri

Ram:
Dear Aditi and Gayathri:
Your schedule in Seattle will be so full that we (Shaku and I) have to think ahead to capture you and everyone on this email in Bellevue for at least one evening during your brief visit here. So I am hoping everyone will unanimously agree and set aside 12 July evening as reserved for a party at Ram Uncle and Shaku aunties house. Aditi dear, you absolutely must come and I am sure Priya will figure out how to get here during that weekend as well.

Aditi and Priya: you must have done some jadoo re: the weather here. Today we are 75 degrees and they are predicting record highs for tomorrow and day after. So I hesitatingly declare the arrival of summer in Seattle since you never know about this part of the world.
As regards the train trip Gayathri auntie, Sethu uncle and I are planning a separate trip from St Petersburg to Vladivostok since no one else wants to!! haHaha.
Cheers and keep cool ...summer is here

Priya:
With so much discussion and activity already via email I have decided to look at the calendar and see if i can make it, although it will be difficult for me to come during the week since I have so many weddings to be at this year my vacation time is limited. I have two weekends I think within your time frame in Seattle so maybe I can work some magic ;-) I will bring everyone some DIBS....hahaha

Gayathri:
i told you, Ram, sethu and I are doing that train trip. at some point of time. For sure.Alright aditi. papa is coming to NY on July 16th. Then he flies in to LA on Monday July 21st. Priya, Aditi, Manu, Eshwari, it would be great if you guys can coordinate in such a way that you are in Seattle over the same weekend.
And yes, those of you that did not send me addresses and phone numbers, send them on guys. I will put them in the master plan and send them on again. it might be easier for the out-station folk to call each other and coordinate dates?
Nidhi, I am sending more pics of the music evening. these took forever to go through and I did photoshop them as the lighting was not very good on those.
This is a short one as I have tow write up my exam. More later. Cheers. gayathri

Priya:
BTW (cell phone text-talk for - by the way) I am now craving Tomato Rasam.
Thanks,

15 may 2008
This promises to become my longest blog! I feel like 'sanjaya' and here I am not narrating but quoting:
Aditi uvaacha:
I’m on Ram Uncle’s side—it’s the middle of May and it’s still chilly-nippy-ish. NOT happy, i want the hotness/heatwave deal!
I really want to try to make it to Seattle that July 12-13 weekend, but it depends on my apartment-moving situation as well as Papa’s plans to be in New York for the IIT conference. Let’s figure that out.
Mummy you can come any date to Nyc, not a problem.
Looking forward to those Dibs,

Priya uvaacha
Ram Uncle (Dad),
There is currently a heat wave over here with not a drop of rain...isn’t it supposed to be April Showers?May Flowers? morel like April Hotness brings May Heatstroke!
daughter’s two cents....
....Sounds to me like you want to take the Train trip more than anyone else!
hehe
Ramarao uvaacha:
Hi Gayi,
More on the environment............naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah No more of that :-)))))))) Our environment should smell of Ingu (asafoetida) and Pacchu Karpoora.. Now does that kindle the digestive juices or what????
Gayi, I fondly remember your Dad & my favorite Uncle mention
that it’s such a waste of money to buy car perfume,
all you have to do is buy some fresh coffee powder and place it in a corner in the car. Every time we used to go with Dr. on his rounds and stop by at Chamrajpet to buy coffee powder the whole car would be filled with the aroma of freshly ground pea berry coffee which prompted him to to say that.

Speaking of Tomato Rasam as India’s National Drink, Uthra’s first order of business, if and when she acquires any semblance of power, continues to be to open a Mutt with Baale Yele Ooota next to every McDonald. Now that’s a good goal to have.
I see that the Train journey is slowly being resurrected. Just remember your age when you get on the train. That’s all I have to say on that :-((((
I am delighted that you are able to postpone your journey from our place. Fantastic.
Warm regards.

Gayathri uvaacha
You know Ram & Sethu, you are my soul-mates - though after Sethu’s little dig about the 180.5 work days - excusez moi, it is 182 - 188 days - i have to do a rethink. Let me know when, and we can do the train journey on our own. and ram, i have a feeling that you all plan to make me walk home from the airport - hand off and all - oh my goodness.
oops, i have a class wandering in - you all behave now, especially, you, mr. mere mortal. Let me tell you all, those 2 little smart-alecks, apoorva and anjali, they are so going to be as cheeky as our man here. of course, much cuter as well! so there!
Cheers.

I can’t believe the emotion that the mention of food can incite, the passion, the single-minded devotion. Lovely. It is such a wonderful means of breaking down barriers and transcends all caste, religion, ethnicity. Hilary would be doing much better if only she hosted a proper saapad and had everyone come vote. Without having them pay for it,of course - free food is always a great motivator. Shame on you Nidhi, feeling happy at Priya’s definition of dibs. and aditi & sethu for taking the focus away from the universe - aditi could never ever win a beauty pagaent as she would go up there and say “If I become Miss Universe, I will make sure that phad thai noodles are available in every grocery store in the world, and tomato rasam is made iNdia;s national drink” Anita, you are the only one with a legit excuse for thinking food. And shame on you Priya for evoking one more emotion - chocolate craving - which made me have some tiramisu at our weekly coffee chat. I had been off sweets for exactly 20 hours and you ruined it all. And how can you not be there is Seattle when we are there? I don’t remember seeing any mention of such in your dad’s mail. Yes, he did say you would have just been to seattle before we got there but there was nothing that said you would not be back for us. You just have to be a part of this “relatives & friends” do and participate in whatever, quoting anita, rambunctious activities we indulge in. i mean that anita used the r word when she was on chat. and if the word does not quite fit in my sentence, well too bad - i just liked the sound of it. so priya, you just have to make plans to spend some time with us in seattle. aditi is planning to come to seattle after we get back from vancouver so she can spend an extra day or two with all.
question: how do we get to vancouver from seattle? we reach seattle on July 6th. and we had planned vancouver for 7th & 8th. and for all to get to seattle on 9th. Tara said that rohini’s friend,anjali will be there on 7th? so should we plan to come to vancouver on 8,9? and all of us get back to seattle on 10th?
and ramu, oh my goodness! Fake glacier visuals - i am speechless! and i think it should be possible for me to leave for New York on 20th instead of 18th. What says, aditi?
so be good, all of you. and keep the mails coming.
take care!
Gayathri Mukund Rao

Sethu uvaacha:
Couldnt resist chipping in with all this fun stuff going around......
The train journey sounds awesome..... And since, unlike the rest of us mere mortals, teachers have all the time in the world (what was it again - 180.5 work days/year?), Gayathri should not let such an opportunity go by!

Ram uvvacha:
I agree with Nidhi!! FOOD is central. Where is all this global warming global shmarming!! Here it is past Mid-May and we are freezing our buns in the Northwest. In the 40 odd years I have lived here in Seattle, May has never been cold. This is supposed to be summer........enough said
Ok back to the track...and I mean railway tracks. Hahhahaha...So all of you thought my suggestions were finally squelched for good and in no uncertain manner, what with Gayathri auntie caving in, much to my grief...My view is that rushing around at 500 mph from BKK to WA DC and then back across the North American continent to SEA, wouldn’t it would be nice for Gayathri auntie to cool her heels on a train watching the sand dunes of Oregon, and the soothing Pacific Ocean lapping the cliffs of the Northwest, passing through the verdant valleys and red-wood forests, occasionally reading a book and contemplating the infinite as the sun sets over the Pacific listening to the clickety-clack of the Amtrak train taking her to her destination without worrying about rushing hither and thither with bag and baggage in tow.... just picture that dear Gayathri before you make up your mind!! And what is wrong in getting to know all the folks in your cabin....hmmmmm.I know all the youngsters will revolt with this line of thinking.... but I wanted to throw in my two cents for all it is worth.
As far as picking up Gayathri and Kamala at the airport I suggest a hand off at specified designated park-n-ride locations along the route similar to a relay....hahahaha just kidding.
Cheers

13 May 2008.
Nidhi uvaacha:
The yaatra is keeping to its potential and promises to be a lot of fun.
Thanks Aditi, Anita and now Priya for getting it back on track. The fundamentals of Indian travel is all about food! I don’t think madhwa’s need any reminding, but others better stock up with madhwa and Indian ingredients in plenty. With Aditi around motivating, Gayathri will be busy cooking. As to sight-see, she can always get a few authentic pictures from Raxit and I am sure Rohini will be too happy to use her photoshop skills to make it appear that Gayathri was indeed there! Thanks Priya for an other definition of ‘Dibs’. The one I prefer, being a sapatram.

(FYI Gayathri aunty Dibs are also tiny Chocolate cover icecream snacks ;-))
(for the ones that are going “Huh? what dibs”, thats american for “I reserve the right to .....”)
The other subject is too distant for me, in spite of the heat it has generated. Gore (gorey is how he would be known in Maharastra) did not impress me while I watched him give in so easily to Bush. The only foot print I know of is one of ‘Lord Rama’ near a temple in Karnataka (Devrayanadurga?) shown to me as a kid. Probably they were just kidding me.
Cheeers!

(Some more e-mails copied!)
Priya
Hello all,
SO I have not checked my email in 4 days and am only now catching up on the 7,459 emails entitled RE: US TRIP.
I did see that my dad mentioned that I would miss the visit as I am leaving Seattle before you all land. Is this true? I don’t remember reading the date of when all this “galata” will start ;-)
I am sooo soo sad if I am missing out on it! maybe I can sneak in a second trip home just to be included in all this exciting activity....
lots of love

p.s. someone needs to take a picture of the airport pick up convoy...hilarious.

Anita:
All I can think about is Madhwa adige and some good old bengaluru talk too!
Looking forward to seeing all of you in Seattle.

Aditi:
Hi all,
WOW I had no idea that one email about a summer holiday would result in an emotionally charged debate on the environment and politics!! I am trying to make plans to come to Seattle as well, but now I’m getting worried that I’ll have to start researching all the different perspectives on the environment and politics before I get there!! I thought this would be a relaxing vacation, but now I feel like I need to do homework before getting there!! And although I do realize the environment is important and all that good stuff, I feel the more important words on this email chain are “pucca madhwa food and masala dosas”, and we need to pay more attention to those interests as well. :)
Hope you all are doing well, and I hope I’m able to meet you all soon!
Take care,

Nalini:
Hi again! Yep..you will be with us first in Washington D.C. and since you started that Saroja Devi comparison stuff, I also remember how your dad would say, if your nose was a bit sharp and eyes bigger and mouth smaller, you would look like Saroja Devi’s grandma!!! and I would sulk for the rest of the day. And I remember his joke about Shabari restaurant in Madras...when he said they will “yenjal it” and give it to us...haha.I can never forget his jokes and your mom’s as well. What is remember very well is that you would dip kodbales in coffee as a kid and play chowka baara with me forever. Then we would hop in autos and go to the movies so frequently.Once I counted that I had seen 55 movies!!!!
More later.

Ramarao:
Gayi Gayi Gayi,
Forgive them my Lord for they know not what they doeth.
My sermon for the day.
1. The next time you watch the Inconvenient Truth - look for the melting glaciers. Looks so heartrending isn’t it??? Your unpolluted tear initiator Al Gore is being sued for lifting this scene from another movie frame for frame where in the original director had used a miniaturized Styrofoam model of a glacier. Al ‘Lifter’ Gore ‘Conveniently’ inserted this to make a point since he couldn’t find the real thing!!!!!!!
2. Carbon Foot Prints/Carbon Credits - the most widely thrown words these days. Carbon Credits is nothing more than ‘Prayashchitha’ (re-paying for bad deeds). There are companies selling Carbon Credits and making a ton of money and the most visible company in this arena is owned by Al Gore.
The purpose is - let’s say you take a Trans Atlantic flight and polluting the planet is inevitable, then you just write a check to this company who will supposedly offset it by using various methods. When you book a ticket on Priceline, just before check out it asks a question whether you would like to contribute towards Carbon Credit. Absurd!! And ofcourse Al Gore always uses the most inefficient private jet when newer and better ones are available. Do as I say don’t do as I do !!!! More can of worms being opened !!!!!!!
Just FYI, I am all for conservation,
clean environment etc. but just don’t make
it political particularly when Science
does not support the contentions
and rationales.

And, of course you are welcome on your own recognizance and the doors are always open but remember we will be taking a walk to Niagara Falls (just 430 miles) but then we will be exhaling more carbon dioxide. Can’t win either way :-(

W A R M unpolluted regards.

Gayathri:
i am loving it even more now - did you all see my two cousins taking two different standpoints and battling it out in the most articulate way possible??? and trying to sound polite at that - “I sincerely did not mean to elicit such a heated response (no pun intended) and my apologies for that” and “ Don’t mean to take a swipe at Manju but when it comes to Environmentalists or Environmentalism ...”. and guys, please don’t retire from the “email platform” - I love the term - keep it going - the group of people on this email listing are all more than willing to enter any kind of discussion, and that is the whole intent of these ramblers - to key people up so that they take a few moments to say hi through the waves and then keep it going. This is one wonderful way to stay in touch and hear about what people are doing and what they have to say. i have to add a couple more people to this - sethu and madhu who have been left out. sethu & madhu, there have been a series of mails zipping around - it all started with our US trip mails. you can read the rest on nidhis blog! sethu works with rohmenhaas - mukund, sethu - if you guys even dare MENTION that the company is spelled wrong or such - you have not seen the wrath of a woman ever!!! madhu is sethu’s wife and has worked for a very long time with an NGO in Bangalore. Right now, their claim to fame are their twin daughters, Anjali and Apoorva, all of 9 months old and absolutely delightful. They are our immediate neighbors in peters mansion.and you should do that as well - with intros please and may be later we can send pics to put a face to a name!!
ok now with that , at the risk of being banned from his house forever and relying on the presence of my mother to gain entry, Ramu, may I say that i am an Al Gore supporter. i show his movie to my students all the time and shed tears of unpolluted joy when he received the nobel prize. And Manju, I loved it “Nothing in my e-mail was meant to allude, or to be construed as a moralistic message on the social, ethical or environmental obligations to any of the recepients on the e-mail (and now, thanks to you, I am beginnign to sound like our legal counsel)”! As far as I am concerned, I think we all have social, ethical, and moral obligations towards our world and however much we fool ourselves with fatalistic approaches of “what is destined to happen will happen” or dishing out blame “it’s the developed countries that use the most energy etc etc”, we cannot ignore the impact of our actions. Actually, many of us are at a stage in our lives when we may not have to face the more serious effects in the future, but for younger people? I find it most encouraging that most of the younger generation are aware and willing to get involved in global and environmental issues. May be it is the science teacher in me and may be the fact that I teach 12 - 13 year olds, but it is difficult to ignore hard-core data and facts that these kids will have to deal with in their lifetime. So - long live environmentalists and all teachers!
And now if the others on this email list don’t sit themselves down and start getting more involved and respond to all this profound discussion, well, I’m going to, well, have a little tantrum???
Anita, Hari, where are you???
And just in case people forgot, we will be in the US in less than a month from now! So Nalini, you are our first stop, right? You are not to start throwing everything out of gear, like your mom does. For all, Nalini and Ramu’s mother is Madhuri Aunty and she is one of the most energetic, fun-loving, and talented people ever. She has this amazing sense of humor that shows up in every situation. We were at Udupi and eating lunch at one of the matts and it was taking them forever to seat everyone and get the food served. And my aunt starts this comparative analysis of the “aachars/poojaris” of the Udupi Mutt and those from Mantralaya! oh my goodness! we were in splits. She is this amazing cook who is the ultimate expert in pucca madhwa cuisine and a most warm and hospitable person. And a Karnatic vocalist who has released music cassettes and has sung for well-known Bharata Natyam artists as well.
Nidhi, it is hilarious that you put this correspondence on the blog - people will be so so confused. i am sure you are going to receive responses that go “Huh????” and thanks for saying I have lost weight - now I will have to get back to the treadmill - I had decided that since I am headed to the country of XXXXXLLLL sizes, I can relax. And I promise I will get the music program entry to you as soon as i get home tonight. The comp has been freezing up on me, but I think Mukund has fixed it last night.
OK. Now need to get some work done. You all be good and keep the mails coming. Have fun all. Love to all.
Myself, Gayathri Rao

Nidhi:
may 10, 2008
As I read the correspondence initiated by Gayathri (Mummy, Aunty, Love-of-your-life, etc etc), the original rambler, I have this feeling that her sojourn in US will get extended. I think the way she has rallied people around her would tempt Hillary Clinton to hijack ‘etc etc’ to help in resurrecting the dwindling chances of getting nominated!
In addition there are many issues to be resolved. For instance, how will we solve the subject of picking her up at the Seatac Airport. Actually those who take it literally and have not seen her recently, will be pleased to see a slimmer Gayathri! While there is no problem about Kamala aunty, she has been spoken for, I suppose Gayathri will have to switch cars periodically so as to make all those eager for this privilege happy! I am sure it will be quite a sight to see a convoy of desi-driven cars as they follow the lead car with Kamala aunty in it.
I thought of calling this blog ‘Gayathri Mantra’, but I suppose it is Mukund’s copyright and privilege. I have a strong suspicion that he has started uttering her mantra as he drives or putts while playing golf, as I see he has improved a lot since about a year. I know he started using his new clubs around that time, but the effect of GM is unquestionable!
I suppose that is enough rambling for now.
Cheers

(I have posted below the correspondence between us for records! Gayathri thanks for as they say ‘plugging’ my blog! The first letter is from Gayathri, when she announced her intention of a US Yaatra and the rest of them as they were received.)

Gayathri:
hi all! first all the intros of people this mail is going to - you definitely need to know and meet each other as all of you are so much fun and such great people.
starting from our point of entry into the US:
Ramu is my cousin - dad’s sister’s son - and uttara is his lovely wife. They are super hosts and in the true Indian tradition of inviting family and friends, may i invite, on their behalf, all of the others to visit them any time you want. you want more incentive? well, both of them are amazing cooks and the masala dosas and bisibele are truly authentic pieces of art.
nalini is ramu’s sister which makes her my cousin. umesh is her husband and they have two wonderful daughters, jaishri and tanushri. Nalini and the two angels sing divinely and Umesh provides complete support and is the appreciative audience.
To get to the next bit, I have to introduce Tara and Nidhi at this point. Tara and Nidhi are our family in Bangkok. Some of you on this mailing list know them as they are your parents/relatives! or you have visited us in Bangkok and there is no way you could have slipped through our house without meeting them.
Shakku is tara’s sister and Ram is her husband. Priya is their daughter. they all are super energetic and so much fun to be with.
nandini is tara nidhi’s daughter and raxit is her husband and they have 2 genius boys, neel and Nikhil. neel is a budding golf player and has won all sorts of tournaments and such. (are golf competitions called tournaments or matches????)
my childhood friend and soulmate is shubha who now lives in bangalore. she and i went to school together in Ahmedabad from 6th standard onwards, did our undergrad together and then did our masters as well. more importantly, our parents were very very close friends which is why, Suhas, shubha’s younger brother, was very much a part of our family as well. his wife is deepika and they have 2 daughters. They live in seattle
this is turning out to be a 2 daughters frat party!
Sandhya is shubhas sister and her husband is ram and they have - yes, 2 daughters!!!! and they are in ___???????
eshwari and manu are two wonderful kids, brother-sister, both in portland. They are my niece and nephew. manu is working and eshwari is studying. they have to fill in details of what, where and such!!!
rajesh is my cousin and his wife is sini and their son is roshan, roshan is this absolutely dynamic kid with vocabulary that is amazing and full of fun.
manju is also my cousin and he has 2 kids ellora and rohan, manju visited us on his way to and back from india a couple of months ago and met tara & nidhi too.
if i have left anyone out, well, fill us in please!!!!
(Rohini, Sundeep, Leela and Rhea are the reason for the Vancouver trip. Rohini is Tara Nidhi’s second daughter.)
so now you all know each other. and remember that the reason i did this was to make sure that since my mum and i will be spending time with you all, there is some networking required by which you know where we are and what we are doing!!!
so:
• I have not done any of the internal bookings, which would basically be the NY-Seattle flight OR Newark-Seattle and the journey from Seattle-LA
• NY - Seattle: Any particular timings that are more convenient for you guys in terms of pick up from the airport? Do let us know so we can try for the best fit.
• Seattle - LA OR Portland-LA: Since Manu and Eshwari live in Portland, one option is for Mum and me to go to portland from seattle, spend a couple of days there and then make our way to LA. The other option is for the 2 of them to come to seattle and meet us and everyone too! Hmmm???? What???? Logistically???? How strenuous would it be for Mum???? Let me know.
• The next bit is a tricky one: We thought it would be a neat idea to take the train from Seattle - LA or Portland - LA. The website says it is a lovely journey, very pretty,along the coast, It does take 35 hours but i thought it would be worth the time since everyone says it is a really nice journey. What says????
• Anita, make note of all the dates - just in case the seattle folk don’t know, the plan is for anita and hari and ananya to come to seattle while we are there.
• and we are trying to convince viji to join us there as well. (viji is a bkk connection ) - talk of family and friends!
• all of you have just got to fill in some the address, tel number etc and send our program back to me.
• you are allowed to comment on any/all of the above commentary. and hurry up - I still have to do some bookings, don’t I?
• Alrighty! I am all set.

Take care all and be good. Keep the mail coming.
lots of love to all.
Gayathri Aunty, Mummy, Gayi, etc etc

(We are now into the correspondance! You will need to navigate back and forth to understand fully!)
Ramarao:
Hi Manju,
Hope all is well.
I knew, I would be opening up a can of worms the moment I hit the ‘Send Button’. I was merely addressing a part of Gayi’s e-mail referenced below and as you can see she just wanted to hear of some of the current happenings and I felt compelled to expose some of the myths. There’s really nothing more to it.
• i am loving it - there’s a “global climate change” phrase worked into these
• mails - we are such an aware and conscious group! but truly, i think i
speak
• for all when i say we would like to hear of what’s happening on that
front -
• it’s not just for the environmentalist in you or the science teacher in me.
• so don’t can anything - do write up a mail when you find some time.

Best regards.

Manju:
Ramu: C’mon now, big man, chill out a little will ya? I do agree with you that the range of topics on these e-mails are all over the Richter scale. However, my reference to the global climate issues was only a sheepish attempt on my part to let Gayi know that that I was terribly busy at work and hence my late entree into providing input on her itinerary, thats all. Plus, Gayi’s plans for a train journey from Seattle to LA merely coincided with an environmental ‘hotspot’ we are dealing with in the same environs. Nothing in my e-mail was meant to allude, or to be construed as a moralistic message on the social, ethical or environmental obligations to any of the recepients on the e-mail (and now, thanks to you, I am beginnign to sound like our legal counsel). No one, least of all environmentalists, can afford to put on the “I am better than thy” facade as you allude to. History has taught us that that approach won’t work. Any obligation to do your best to cut down on your carbon ‘footprint’ is your own. The future will tell us if you as an inidvidual or as part of the human race survive this crises or go the “way of the Dodo”. Again, I sincerely did not mean to elicit such a heated response (no pun intended) and my apologies for that. Sheesh—I am exiting out of this e-mail platform lest I be drawn into future haranges—which would be counterproductive to the interest of this e-mail anyway.
Gayi - once again, my children and I are looking forward to seeing you here in Southern Cal.
Cheers to all,

Gayathri:
i am loving it - there’s a “global climate change” phrase worked into these
mails - we are such an aware and conscious group! but truly, i think i speak
for all when i say we would like to hear of what’s happening on that front -
it’s not just for the environmentalist in you or the science teacher in me.
so don’t can anything - do write up a mail when you find some time. Now that
we have this “rambler mail” chain in place, I think we should maintain it
and keep it going. Nidhi has a wonderful blog that he maintains and i think
when there are subjects like you mention, manju, it is worth it to send it
on to nidhi to put on his blog. and yes, just in case you folk want to check
out the blog (there are numerous very interesting topics), it is
http://nidhiramblers.blogspot.com/
Ok. So we will work in visiting your house, manju. Rajesh, you are in charge
of that. Alright, I have done my job, so there!
More coming up - I have a great story of Nalini’s fascination, when she was
much younger, for the actress Saroja Devi. And one on the antics of her
OLDER brothers, Ramu & Venki! More on that! P:S: I anyone has other
embarrassing stories to contribute, that’ll be fun - helps break the ice,
you know!!!
Cheers.

Ramarao:
Hi Gayi
I am quite nonplussed by the mosaic of topics being discussed in these e-mails. It almost looks like a big bash between Bush et al and Putin et al. Environment, Julliana Margolis, Pam Anderson literally in the same sentence.
This got me thinking. The aforementioned are things that can only be seen from afar and we ‘mere mortals’ can’t do anything about it or with it. Now don’t get ideas. I am referencing this in particular to the Environment :-))))
Don’t mean to take a swipe at Manju but when it comes to Environmentalists or Environmentalism, I am reminded of an old cartoon by R.K.Laxman - the scene is a busy factory with all kinds of activities, welding, lathes etc. you name it with busy bodies running around all over the place and the caption is “This factory does not actually produce anything - it’s a means to employ labor”.
In my humble opinion this pretty much sums up the the ‘feel right’, ‘I’m better than you because I care for the earth’ feeling of the Environmentalists. Keep in mind that one eruption of even a medium sized volcano can send the ashes to the stratosphere and cause more pollution in a short time than several developing countries combined and the Earth still survives it.
More importantly the Environmental regulations seem to tie the hands of the Industrialized Nations behind their back and provide an unfair advantage to countries like China and hmm hmm.... India whose regulations are at best loose. America has 22 different types of Gasoline concoctions to fulfill the idiosyncrasies of the different states and then to complain that the price of gas is trough the roof is unjust. If US has one kind and even the mention of its willingness to drill for its own oil in Alaska or Florida will send the price of gas spiraling down. But the environmentalists have to have their say with even a Nobel Prize doled out to its greatest but misplaced proponent viz. Al Gore. In the scheme of things we need to remember that we are mere mortals who
can neither increase or decrease the temperature of earth so let’s take a deep breath and calm down.
Now, what was the actual purpose of this e-mail??? Oh, welcome to Gayi and Aunty. Got carried away and ofcourse you asked for it!!!!!
Warm or may be Cold ‘Regards’ depending on where you live!!!!

Manju:
On Sun, May 11, 2008 at 1:59 PM, Manjunath Venkat wrote:
Dear Gayi:
I am sorry to be making this rather delayed entry into this rather interesting criss-crossing of e-mails dedicated to your trip. You know, it is rather typical and convenient to blame tardiness of any natureon the weather—in my case I would dare say it is not an excuse but a fact! Seriously, the global climate change issues has created an unprecedented amount of work and we are all burning the ‘midnight oil” these days. Coincidentally, the western sea board of the US, the Pacific Coast; which has been dissected pretty well in the e-mails in terms of your now defunct train journey, is at the center of the subject of a proposed study. Well, interesting tidbits, but nonetheless a subject that can be canned for a later dialog....so on to the important discussions regarding your wanderings in the US....
Rajesh informed me of your plans to go to Las Vegas (that contemptible but
most fascinating of Cities), the weekend of June 21, 22 and 23? At first I
got all excited about making the trip up to Rajesh’s place and Jamboreeing
with you all at Vegas. Regrettably- and we are somewhat in knots over this
this is coinciding with Rohan graduating from his Cub Scout “pack” that very weekend and it is a pretty big deal for him ....and, it means so much for Ellora and me to witness that. What a pity! But, as a reparation, I promise to bring the kids over and stay with with you all during your sojourn here in LA. Please let me know what your schedule as far as your stay here is in the Southland.
I have to remind you—a trip here to Southern Cal minus the surf and sands of Malibu is akin to making a visit to Agra and not seeing the Taj Mahal !! Plus, may I just drop in an ounce of temptation by stating that a certain star of tinseland, by the name of Juliana Margolis was sighted on my recent visit to the Marmalade Cafe in Malibu??? OK, all right, perhaps it is not worth the effort to be gaga eyed about a few celebrities.....but hey, the soothing surf and sounds of Malibu beach is definitely what the doctor ordered....the perfect respite for the weary traveler. Picture yourself laying back on the glorious beach, watching the sandpipers flitting across the surf, listening to the sea gulls and their cacophonous cries of joy, creating a sand castle with the kids ...and watching Ms. Pamela Anderson (of the infamous “Bay Watch”) strut her stuff.....sheesh..ok..ok...I will behave!!
Seriously, Gayi, you ought to consider heading out west on Highway 210 with Rajesh and family while you are here. Please come and stay with us. While I am on this propaganda on southern Cal, I may as well venture out intrepidly to suggest that Manu and Esh should head out south on I-5 to the southland. Now how about that? Gives us a chance to see Esh as well.
Hey now, you cannot argue with the warm surf and sands of the southern Pacific, can you?? From what I know, the ice bergs a re melting and the waters off Oregon are closer to the frigid waters!!
On a serious note - whatever the plans, my kids join me in welcoming all of you. BTW, Ellora has already started her crayon poster to welcome you—do note: she spelled Gayathri with the numerical “3”(what do you expect? She is a Millennium girl). It would be a pleasure to receive you all and we will certainly cherish whatever time we can get with you.
Suhas - it is great to hear from you and to know you are all doing well. Let’s keep in touch.
On the eve of Mother’s day here, I take this opportunity to wish all you wonderful Moms a “Happy Mother’s Day.”
Regards,

Rohini:
Hi Gayathri aunty,

While the Seattle gang fight over you I’m glad we have you all to ourselves in Vancouver :-). Since it will be such a short time Nandini suggested we come back to Seattle and join in the general galata! me thinks no one going to be sleeping those few days...which is good... more people to stay up and rock rhea to sleep.
Aditi hope you can make it.
love
Rohini
Rohini, Sundeep, Leela & Rhea

Gayathri:
Hi All!
Ram, Nandini, Suhas - you are all very generous people and i am thoroughly
flattered that you all want to come to the airport and pick us up from the airport!! i am loving it.
Deepika, what Suhas forgot to mention was that we also owned a 6 INCH big wire bicycle, one of those things that they make with 1 piece of wire with no attachments etc. So Suhas and Srinivas and Lalita’s son, Mukund, would fight over who gets the bicycle. The two of them were all of a meter tall!
The deal was that whoever married me would get the bicycle as their dowry! Suhas also threw in another offer - to stay home with Kamala Aunty and enjoy her coking and have me work for them forever! Isn’t it funny that I did marry a Mukund!
I love the responses I am getting about my planned train trip! Ramu even
wrote “ What were you thinking???? You can literally see yourself grow old during that journey “, which comment had the girls in absolute splits over the phone since both of them were absolutely amazed that somebody would want to admire scenery from a train window for that long - thanks Ramu, you pretty much made their day!!!
Jaishri drives??? and Tanushri is in grade 8? oh my goodness. For the rest of the mailing list, on our last visit to the US in 1999, these 2 girls and us went to some shoe place as our two wanted to do some shoe shopping. So there was tanushree with her hair in about a million little braids that aditi had made for her - and they were not braid braids but little pieces of hair jutting out in all directions - with about a couple of dozen hairclips on her head, and a huge handbag, and refusing to change or look a half bit more presentable. at some point, Nalini just loaded everyone into the car and off we went. once we reached the shop, both jaishri and tanushri had a little fit and hue & cry as they wanted to buy adult size shoes with 8” heels! we
had to restrain nalini - that’s all i can say now! jaishri and tanushri, I am so so excited that we get time with you. Since I am relating funny stories, might as well relate one more about my cousin Rajesh. Ha, you thought you were going to get away unscathed??
Whenever anyone passed by with an umbrella, Rajesh would sneak up and snatch it away - from perfect strangers and people just walking on the street! As R.K. Laxman showed so well in his caricatures, the average mysorian has to have an umbrella swinging alongside even in perfectly decent weather (though it is getting to be an extinct practice in recent times), so rajesh had a field day standing just outside the gate and targetting the unaware! it was hilarious. he was the ultimate umbrella snatcher!
manu and eshwari, so how does all of this fit in with your schedules? It would be fun for you to come up to Seattle and meet all.
Anita, Hari, Manju, how about you guys? what are your plans? i think i like this idea of relating stories - i have a few about nalini which i shall save for the next mail! and not to worry, i will tell a few with me involved just for fairness sake!
nidhi , i have the pics from viji and will send the blog soon. have to stop now - have to go play with madhu’s twins.
cheers and love to all

On 5/10/08, Suhas Uliyar wrote:
Hi Gayathri,
Sorry for the delayed response. In addition to your visit to Seattle we are equally excited that we get to meet more folks in Seattle. We have been in the Seattle area now for 4 years and did not know or come across Ram Prasad and family. Excited to meet you all via Gayatrhi’s email and hopeful to see some or all of you in Seattle or our travels. I do know Rajesh and Manju but have not seen them in a very long time. In fact I had no idea that Rajesh was in LA until I spoke to Kamala aunty last week. I have to let everyone know here that I reserve the right to pick up aunty (and of course Gayathri) from Seattle airport in “MY” car. This is a result of a promise made to Kamala aunty when I was very young where I told her that when I grow up, I would drive her around in a car – a foreign one. I think I told her impala at the time as that was my little dinky car that Prahalad uncle got me from one of his visits. While I did not live up to my dream career at that time – which was to be a driver, I am really thrilled that I can actually keep the promise I made to aunty. So Ram Prasad, you are welcome to join us at the airport to collect them but aunty gets to sit in my car J. We can then pick straws for Gayathri !! I love you too Gayathri but you did not give me the dinky car !!
My beautiful family is made up of my wife Deepika and two daughters Ananya (7 yrs) and Mahima (4). We live in Woodinville which is not very far from Ram Prasad’s house, so shunting between our house and Ram Prasads’ is not going to be an issue.
Relative to the Seattle to LA by train, I agree with Nadini’s argument wholeheartedly. I would suggest that you fly to San Francisco (SFO) or San Jose (SJC) and do a day trip to Big Sur or drive along the coast (towards Carmel from San Jose). This is my opinion – but honestly after about 30 mins driving at very high speed around the sharp bends with water on one side and mountains on the other, I kind of get bored. However the first 30 mins are awesome. So if you want to enjoy the coastal drive, this is something I would suggest you do – of course driving slowly and carefully. Question is who drives you there. Sandhya and family are likely to be in India during your visit. It appears that Mukund is going to be busy playing black jack, so if you would drive, Gayathri, this is certainly something worth doing.
The other alternative would be to fly into SFO or SJC and then driving to LA on Highway 1. Again driver may be the issue. Relative to flying from NY or EWR either are fine with us. We would like you to come for the 4th of July weekend but we are looking forward to whenever you can make it to Seattle. We are at your service. Deepika, kids and I fly to London for a 2 week vacation on the 16th of July. So the timing of your visit works perfectly for us.
Relative to Portland. Manu and Eshwari are welcome to visit Seattle and stay with us. If for whatever reason this option is not good, you could take the train or Greyhound to Portland and back. If it is a weekend trip and I am not traveling we could all go visit Portland as well. There are some awesome places to visit around the Gorge.
we are disappointed that Mukund, Aparna and Aditi are not coming to Seattle. I do hope they are able to change their minds or schedule and visit us.
Deepika & Suhas Uliyar
Please let us know if you need anything else.
Kind Rgds
Suhas Uliyar
Chief Technology Officer
Dexterra Inc
Manu, Eshwari & Mena.
Hi Gayathri,
It is good to hear that your plans are getting finalized, and we are looking forward to meeting you. We can certainly take a drive up to Seattle one weekend and get together.Let us know when works best for you. Also, if you have time, you’re still welcome to come to Portland and stay with us. It is an easy three hour bus or train ride away from Seattle.
To answer your question, Eshwari is currently studying economics at the University of Oregon in nearby Eugene. I’m working at Intel corp as a process engineer here in Portland.
BTW, mom is going to be here from late May until July 5th. If it works out, it will be nice if she also could meet you.

With Regards,

Gayathri:
Ok, now what has happened is that some of you voted for the train
journey and some against!
I found Nadini’s argument against the ride rather convincing - here I
quote her “ Seattle to LA by train: it’s beautiful and all but do you
really want to spend 3 days on a train. You’ll be bored out of your mind or you’ll make friends with everyone on the train. No, seriously, the beauty can be taken in on a drive on the Pacific coast in CA. I’d rather you spend that time hanging out it Seattle. From your email, it sounds like you already don’t have enough time. So, take in some nice breakfasts, enjoy some walks with long lost relatives, instead of the train.”!!!
I am loving it! and i am loving the idea of more time with all you
lovely people as against a train-load of unknown ones. and aditi and aparna
were totally shocked that I would want to ride a train in the US. so sandhya
and ramshakku, any time you plan to do that train journey, let me know and
i’ll join you guys! so as of now, I think i have voted out the train. But, i
may change my mind again, so there! Manu and Esh, do you think you guys can
come to Seattle and meet us there? What says?
Keep the mail coming.
Cheers.
Gayathri, Mummy, Aunty, Love-of-your-life, etc etc

Ram & Shakku:
Dear Gayathri:
Both of us are really excited you are finally going to come for a visit and but sad that it will be so short. I note that a whole army of people are waiting for you to arrive so we will all have to fight for your time and attention!! Hahahaha. Also we are delighted to meet via this lovely and most informative email of yours, all the folks that are involved in your fantastic tour. As far as picking up at the Seattle airport is concerned, you don’t need to worry about what time you arrive.....I am personally at your disposal whenever and whatever time you wish to arrive.
I took the liberty of adding Priya to the list of your email recipients however she will have just come and gone before you are in Seattle. Priya will be here for a few days in May then heads back to Oakland so she will miss seeing you here.
It would be great if Viji also decides to come here at the same time. We can hold a mini music session with all three of you famous BKK celebrities!!
Taking the train from SEA to LA is indeed a great idea. The scenery is superb as you go along the coast line for a major part of the journey. You will definitely enjoy it. It would also be worthwhile to stop for a day or two in San Francisco.
Make sure you have Canadian Visa because obtaining it here will cause you a loss of the better part of a day.
Let us know if we can assist you more in your planning and have a wonderful trip over. I notice that Shriman Mukund Rao has deliberately avoided coming to Seattle but will spend most of his time in Las Vegas....... hummmmm!! . I wonder why??
I have added our address and phone numbers to your itinerary.
Affectionately

Geet, Ghazal Aur Quawali By Bangkok Residents of India

2008-05-15T09:53:00.000-07:00

This is Gayathri, filling in for Nidhi and totally honored to be allowed into the realm of the “nidhiramblers" Blog!

So what do a group of people do when they want to organize a Geet, Ghazal Aur Quawalli evening, the main intent being to provide a platform for at least a few of the many talented residents of Bangkok, people who have demonstrated their sincere dedication and interest in music by developing a sound classical music foundation and taking their singing to a greater level of melody and perfection? Well, what they do is meet up for a thali meal and coffee at Sri Ganesh. Seriously. You know how all of the cultural advances in France happened in the little coffee places? Similar. There is something about a truly good cup of coffee and unpretentious environs that brings out the best in people, intellectually and emotionally. So that’s what the three of us, Tara, Viji and I did. Met at Sri Ganesh and planned.

And what a brilliant evening it was, if I say so myself. When you have singers of the caliber of Tara, Viji, Shyamlee, Ashok Khullar, Rakesh, Aruni and Ravinder, instrumental accompaniment by the likes of Ashok Khullar, Aslam Parvez and Shripad Rajguru, the dynamic wit of Ajay Bhatt, a sell out auditorium with an audience all set to have a good time, and a “gopher” like yours truly, you sure have it all made for an absolutely scintillating evening. The major hitch to getting such an event going in all these years has been the lack of a Bangkok based group of accompanists who could provide the instrumental support for such a program. This gap was recently filled by the presence of Ashok Khullar, Aslam Parvez and Sripad Rajguru who are masters on the synthesizer and the tabla.

The evening started off with Kaahe Tarasaye by Tara and Viji, from the movie Chitralekha, a song that was a salute to the brilliant composers and lyricists of a bygone era. Then a fast paced taraana in Raag Janasamohini by Viji, Tara, Aruna, and Ravinder. Aruna’s soulful rendering of Jagjit Singh’s ghazal, Kaun Kehta Hai, was much appreciated. I remember hearing Aruna as a school going teenager.Her voice had that magical quality even then, the sweetness that reaches out to the listener. Gurmeet’s Bahon Mein Chale Aao from Anamika and Lag Ja Gale from Woh Kaun Thi were wonderful. The clarity and reach in her singing is indeed a precious gift from the Almighty and is something to be nurtured. It was a pleasant surprise to meet Rakesh who has not been on the musical radar as we know it! He has this deep voice that lends itself so well to the emotional content of our film music. And how beautifully emotional are our songs, well, at least most of them! He sang Kitna Hasin Chehra and Sochenge Tumhe Pyaar from Diwana.
Ravinder and Ashok Khullar’s Ude Jab Jab Julfein from Naya Daur was a treat and brought on some nostalgia for the innocence of the time where love was portrayed with a measure of awe and wonder. Shyamlee is a very accomplished artist with a stage presence to match. Her easy and confident Mere Mehboob Na Ja from Noor Mahal and Pyaar Do Pyaar Lo from JaanBaaz were so easy on the ear and heart. Viji and Ravinder’s Tum Ko Piya from Shikari was vibrant and got the audience going. Tara’s melodious and soft voice was just perfect for Hum Pyaar Mein Jalne Walon Ko from Jailer and Tere Sur Aur Mere Geet from Goonj Uti Shehnai. Seene Mein Jalan, a song from the movie Gaman, was sung by Askok Khullar. The depth of his voice and style of singing enhanced the quality of this meaningful and profound song. So also with Sanso Ko Sanso that he performed with Aruna, from the movie Hum Tum. Kajra Mohabbat Wala is a such a romantic song full of lovely nuances and subtle suggestions, that it brings on an immediate smile. Viji and Ravinder added the joie de vivre required in the projection of this song from Kismet as also Babuji Dheere Chalna from Aar Paar, sung by Viji. The quawali, Nigahein Milane Ko from Dil Hi to Hai is a brilliant composition that energizes and Viji, Tara, Aruna, Gurmeet and Ravinder did just that.
The grand finale was a fast-paced medley with all the singers on stage. The selections ranging from Aajkal Tere Mere Pyar Ke Charche to Aaj Ki Raat from Don were beautifully rendered with precision and fun.
The evening’s program was made particularly enjoyable due to the presence of Ajay Bhatt, a witty and humorous resident of Bangkok. He had the audience in splits with his apt poetry and fun-filled comments.
The artists of the evening appeared in scintillating costumes that added a dimension of glamour that Hindi cinema is always associated with.

It is truly amazing to see the varied talents that exist within this community of the so-called NRIs. It is such a sad statement that we get labeled “Non Residents” when our thoughts of home and everything associated with it, including the Bollywood factor, resides within each of us.

What has to be appreciated is the spontaneous response of friends and family and music–loving community who came and supported the event. The Ambassador of India to Thailand, Her Excellency Madam Latha Reddy, The Ambassador of Pakistan to Thailand, His Excellency Mr. Mir Hussain Bakhsh Bangulzai and Madam Ambassador graciously attended the occasion and their presence was a true encouragement to the organizers and artists. It takes many hours of logistical organization and practice sessions for such an event to take concrete shape. But what makes it all worthwhile is the oneness that music brings with it, the feeling of comfort that these tunes bring with them, the sense of being distanced from the rigors of daily schedules, and the warmth that thoughts of times spent in the movie theaters back home bring with them. The families of the people involved in this program have been just wonderful in offering the affectionate support and confidence in the abilities and talents of their dear ones. And for this we express our heartfelt appreciation, each and every one of us.

Khun Kong Mangkornkarn who loves Indian music and attends our programs regularly has kindly shared the pictures he has taken of the days event. Please log onto the web site below:
http://web.mac.com/kongm/Bharat_Sangeet/Events/Events.html to see the slide show.

He says:

'I did not use flash to disturb the artists so the pictures are not vivid like the flash one but it does render a very natural colour like what we experienced in the hall.'

The pictures below are coursey: Khalid.

( It is great that you are given a 'short and crisp' coverage of the event very ably by Gayathri! I hope this will be a permanent feature in the future! Thanks Gayathri, I am equally honored!)

There are responsibilities that all of us have.

2008-04-27T21:15:00.000-07:00

Friends who read my blog "Sashank's story" made many valuable contributions to the blog as comments. Gayathri wrote and I quote:

'Parents always want the very best for their children. But it always comes with expectations, with norms attached by them or society. There is a level of self-gratification in parenthood. I think with Viji and Murthy, you see the truly unconditional love for both the boys, the kind of parental care that revolves around what their sons need and want'.

'On a related note, I watched Larry King in which the topic was autism. One in 150 children in the US is diagnosed with autism, across a spectrum, but autistic. They were discussing the importance of receiving the support, the funding, the facilities and the awareness required to ensure that as adults, these individuals can function as independently as possible'.

'I think it is so important for every single one of us to realize that there are responsibilities that all of us have towards such wonderful people and that it all begins with the younger generation being involved and aware'.

I was curious to know if, apart from the family, there was any significant contribuition by the state or the society. It was heartening to learn from a relative of hers from USA, about how the school in which his autistic son studies, held an awareness meeting of students and parents. The purpose was to explain how challenged some children could become and the need for 'an understanding' from the others. This was done at the initiative of a well known Hollywood actor, who was also a parent in the school. The actor had heard about the autistic son being beaten up and had suggested this meeting. This positive step did help and now the meeting is an annual event at the school.

Rama and Gopi also spoke about a relative of theirs who took her autistic child on a tour of Europe and that the experience was not even. Italians were very sympathetic, French surprisingly not so.

Rama also gave me a book to read 'The memory keepers daughter'. It is also being made into a movie. The novel is based on a true story of the sixties when the attitudes and awareness were very different in the US. Those days, even doctors recommended that a child diagnosed with the down syndrome be sent to an institution and not taken home!

A very recent and well written two part article in Seattle Times by Maureen O'Hagan, examines the status of care in the case of Down Syndrome and Autism. While the state steps in through the Division of Developmental Disabilities, she says that 'most caregivers are relatives, whose dedication saves the state untold millions. Today, institutionalizing kids is rare. Although discrimination exists, people with developmental disabilities go to school and play sports and work like everyone else'.

Indeed the times have changed, I read a story about a couple who decide to have the child in spite of learning that the unborn child is with Down Syndrome. There was another story wherein a couple decide to adopt a Down Syndrome child, while they already have a child of their own.

While she speaks of the problems of funding, 'Washington officials have only just begun to take action. The state Developmental Disabilities Council has formed a committee. And Washington's Long Term Care Task Force, which was mainly aimed at elder-care issues, has also factored in people with developmental disabilities. What the groups haven't found are solutions', one hopes that solutions are indeed found soon.

I wanted to see if India had an organisation similar to 'Developmental Disabilities council' and did not find any. However, I found these websites:
'http://www.icddelhi.org/'.
http://www.ncpedp.org/
http://rehabcouncil.nic.in/index.htm
http://naseoh.vishwa.com/
I cannot say now how effective these organisations are except to feel happy that there are efforts made by the Government and others.

www.autism-india.org, states that Autism in India is estimated at 1 in 500. While the awareness is getting better, the report says: 'This problem occurs in many countries, but is especially true in India where there is a tremendous lack of awareness and misunderstanding about autism among the medical professionals, who may either misdiagnose or under diagnose the condition.'

As I was writing this I saw another report which makes me wonder, what is with the modern day world where so many children are affected?Here is what BBC has to say on April 25, 2008:

A third of UK girls aged 11 to 19 have tried to harm themselves, a survey for a mental healthcare provider suggests. Of those who admitted to self-harm, 43% said they did it because they were depressed, 17% because they were angry, 10% because of relationship problems and 10% because they were stressed.

Dr David Kingsley, consultant psychiatrist at Cheadle Royal Hospital run by Affinity Healthcare - a mental healthcare provider for the NHS who commissioned the research - said professionals felt it was an increasing problem.

"One in three girls is an extraordinary figure - I was stunned by it.

"A study recently suggested three biggest causes were family problems, problems with friends and problems at school."

He said parents and teachers should be vigilant for young people who were withdrawn, struggling emotionally, or feeling low.

Early morning discovery in Seattle!

2008-04-26T09:34:00.000-07:00

I was up early and the house was quiet as we had retired late yesterday. It was getting light and I could see enough to make myself a cup of coffee without switching on the light. I know the method of making coffee using the espresso machine and as I began making coffee I looked out of the window hoping to catch the early morning sun on the peaks of the Mt. Rainier. It is, true to its name, always behind the clouds! This morning it was seen but not in golden hues, but it was still very impressive in different shades of grey!

Anyway the coffee decoction was ready and it was time to add some milk and I took out the carton of milk and started to add. I was shocked to see that the milk was totally watery. My first reaction was my god the milkmen cheat even in America! Then I remembered there are no milkmen and there are many varieties of milk. I took the carton near the window to check. Sure enough, the milk was 'fat free'! I have been always using the regular milk that is given to the kids for my coffee. Honestly, I see no logic in buying fat free milk, when you can always add water if you want it diluted. In fact, it may even be cheaper this way! I suspect that fat free milk would be more expensive than the regular one as it has to be processed to take out the fat. Unless of course, they now breed cows to give fat free milk!

I have by now, learnt to keep my counsel on such important issues in the US. I know the only way to change the minds here is to get Oprah's or Ellen's attention and convince them about my reasoning. I still haven't figured how accomplish this feat!

As you would expect, this takes me back to my Bengalooru days, before the onset of milk dairies and pasteurised milk. Even then, after dairies started supplying milk, we would still boil the pasteurised milk as no one fully trusted the dairies to do a thorough job. Also, we needed the cream for making butter!.

Those days the milkman or woman would bring the cow home early in the morning to our homes and milk the cow in front of one of us. Ostensibly this system ensured that we got pure cows milk and not fat free. Our vigilance was not enough as we learnt with experience that they had many tactics to distract us and add water to the milk. One was to appear so early in the morning that the watcher would be still sleepy and not that observant. They would show one vessel which was empty but switch to another with water in it as it was still dark outside and we would not detect the switch. It was a game as there were constant negotiations to change the price of milk, lower by the customer with arguments that the quality of milk was not so good and by the milkman who would give many stories about the cost of inputs and so on. Of course, it was a fairly equal battle as the milkman could just switch customer, which they did often, if things did not work well for them.

The little pleasures of Baby-Sitting!

2008-04-19T09:28:00.000-07:00

It was gradual entry this time. I spent a week with Nandini in Seattle first and tried to get out of my jet lag. As Neil and Nikhil are grown up, after the initial excitement of meeting me, they were busy with their own routines and activities. We also moved to Nandini's lovely new home and we were busy getting settled and used to the new place. I even managed a game of golf with Neil and Raxit. Neil really played well after a gap of so many months.

The first few days with Rohini in Vancouver were idyllic as Rhea slept most of the time and while awake she was in good humor. Rohini would feed Rhea and soon she would be napping, then Rohini would go out for half an hour to drop Leela at school and return before Rhea woke up. The same routine worked when it was time to pick up Leela. I had hardly any work to do as Rohini is quiet organised with the kitchen work.

This changed somewhat when Rhea caught a cold. She was not able to sleep as much and her routine changed. She gets up at odd times and is a little uncomfortable because of the cold. Thursday was fun! She was almost sleepy and Rohini asked me to walk her a bit and she would sleep. I said fine and Rohini left.

However, Rhea was not comfortable on my shoulder and started squirming. I tried to change my grip and it got worse (My grip is my problem even in golf!). She was sleepy and uncomfortable and soon started crying. My walking and swaying her as suggested by Rohini only made it worse. I thought I would put her on the swing and see if it helped. The swing is not the contraption we devise in India. Indian swing for babies is just a sari folded and hooked on to the ceiling. The sari wraps around them as soon as they are placed in it and they are also slightly immobilised at the same time and it works great as far as I can remember.

The swing here was a contraption to do many things and a challenge to my dexterity. I had to place her in the seat making sure I did not hit her head against the fulcrum at the top and buckle her at two points and operate the controls. There was one to swing the seat in various speeds, another to make some kind of groaning sound, a third to switch on lights and rotate the mobile. I managed to get the swing operating and tried to give her a pacifier. She started sucking at it with vigour and it would slip out of her mouth. Surprisingly when I tried to put it back in her mouth the swing stopped. When the swing got going, out slipped the pacifier and she started to howl. Soon, I gave up on the swing lifted her out very carefully and started walking her again. A big mistake as she started to howl louder and was holding her breath and getting red.

By this time she must have had a good work out of her lungs for about 2o minutes. Then the brilliant idea of switching on the TV occurred to me and it worked like magic. This must be because of all the TV Rohini must have watched during her pregnancy. Soon she was burrowing her head to my shoulder and appeared very sleepy. Rohini appeared at this moment and took over and Rhea was asleep in exactly 15 seconds time!

When it was time for Rohini to go pick up Leela, Rhea was wide awake and was playing with me. So Rohini left as usual and Rhea was fine for about 30 seconds and then started a small refrain of her complaints. I preempted any bout of crying by turning on the TV and it worked again. As it was on Golf Channel, she lost interest and looked away. I turned her towards me and was rewarded with the most bewitching of smiles. A kind that one shows when one is bonding with an other. It was a very rewarding moment! I later realised that she was actually smiling at her reflection on my specs. (Gayathri remember not to wear your contacts when your time comes!)

No matter, we were very comfortable with each other and had a good time. Suddenly out came one of those sounds which is normally the privilege of grand parents to make, those who had too many fried things to eat! Rhea looked pleased, relieved and was without a trace of embarrassment for letting out gas and gave me one of the most enchanting smiles I have ever seen on a baby.

Our 'young' Gurus speak on Shastras

2008-03-12T20:25:00.000-07:00

I did not anticipate that I would be listening to Neema speak on our scriptures, 'shastras' as she terms them, just a month after writing my blog 'pilgrimage thoughts'. Neema and Surya are both 'young' scholars who took a break from their working lives to learn 'Vedanta' and Sanskrit in India.

Neema has a Master's degree in Economics from Columbia University and Surya has a Ph.D in Pharma from Paris. Neema Majmudar & Surya Tahora have studied with Swami Dayananda Saraswati, renowned scholar of Vedanta. Both have gone through intensive course of Vedanta studying texts such as Upanishads, Bhagavad Gita, etc with the commentaries of Sankara, and the Panini system of Sanskrit grammar. They have been teaching Vedanta in India and abroad for several years.

It is fortunate for us that Neema and Surya have returned to Bangkok. She is working as a Social Affairs Officer, Gender and Development Section at the UNESCAP in Bangkok and Surya continues to devote his time to the study of Vedanta.

When they dropped in at our place one day, we spoke about their quest and about the retreat on vedanta they had arranged in India. They said that the retreat went very well. Tara asked them if they would speak to a group of friends on Vedanta at our place. They agreed and Tara wasted no time in collecting a group friends who were keen to listen and learn.

We inquired about the arrangements that were to be made. They said there were none! There was no need for a picture of a deity or a guru, no lamp to be lit and no flowers. No 'Preeti Bhojan' and not even a cup of tea! The discourse would be for an hour, thrice a week and Neema would speak on 'Shastras' for a total of about ten hours. There was no need for any specially decorated seats for them and that they would sit with us on the floor.

In just three days, we started with the series of lectures. As I listened to Neema, I realized that it was a very 'personal' experience for me. I was taken back to my childhood as 'what I am now' depended a lot on what I experienced and learnt then.

I think I need to ‘ramble’ a little and talk about my 'pilgrimage' blog. It was my intention to include in my blog, but missed, the 'simpler' pilgrimages we made as kids to our family deity. Normally it would be a day or a overnight trip to a village or a town nearby. Often we were the only ones visiting from out of town. The priests at the temple knew our family well and there was no queue, no security and no tickets to enter the temple.

The pooja would be a long drawn affair, at least for a couple of hours (felt longer for us kids). Some of us, the restless ones would manage to sneak out and play in the village pond, skipping thin stones on the surface of the water. We would however slink back just in time, avoiding the glares of elders, who were not too pleased, for the aarthi and the substantial prasad .

My mother would go ecstatic about the grand 'aarthi'. How beautiful was the 'alankara' of the Idol and so on. But she would also find time to lecture me for not being like some of my better behaved cousins who stayed put for the whole length of the pooja. In fact she was worried, more than angry, that god would not be too pleased with me.

I would go round the garbha gudi three times to please her and appease the Lord, who according to her would be very upset with me. I would also fall at the feet of the priest and be blessed by him. Some of the priests were quite theatrical and to be honest, we kids used to find them funny and would laugh at them behind their back. We did not mean any disrespect , but we were just kids anyway.

Sriram while commenting on the pilgrimage blog, reminded me about the temples we would frequent in our own area. I remember our daily visit to the Rama temple. We as kids had more allegiance to Hanuman. We believed that we would become strong like him and that he would help us in our cricket. But I think we also went because the water coming out of the temple tap was the coolest, very welcome after our hectic activities while playing.

Very young, we were taught to bow before our own deity at home, morning and evening. God was very much a part of our life. He was a not such a big deal normally, but it was different on festival days. We were told that he was there for us, as long as we followed the rituals that were taught to us by our elders. We also felt that he would be sympathetic if we missed going to the temple once in a while, because of the circus that came to town or the cricket match that we could not afford to miss.

We learnt very early in our life that it was God who created everything. We also knew that every action of ours was recorded for him by his scribe Chitragupta, even our thoughts. Our rewards in this life and in our after life entirely depended on this record. We were very careful about what we said as god had empowered lizards in our homes. If the lizards went 'click-click', the moment we said or thought a bad thing it would become a reality. Of course, grandmothers could ward it off if they uttered 'krishna-krishna' immediately after the clicking of the lizards. I remember my grand mother would invariably do this every time the lizard went vocal, just in case! Obviously she knew human nature well enough to be careful!

There were also stories as to why we had to wash our feet, as soon as we entered home. We had no problem accepting this and many more beliefs that prevailed. We also had no problem with multiple gods, as well as different deities for other families. We ignored those irritating kids who claimed superiority for their own diety. Again, as Sriram had pointed out, our elders also had different approaches to deal with religion and beliefs. Some went more into rituals as they grew older, while others seemed to get less and less involved. None of them were real issues while we were young.

With all this variety, it was not such a problem, as our horizons widened, to accept the Christian and Muslim boys into our play groups. Often it was the food they ate that kept us apart rather than the difference in their ways and the very different churches and mosques.

It did get complicated as we got older. There were discoveries by scientists, doctors which would make us wonder about our notions about the universe and our beliefs. But, we could still get back to our 'comfort zones', with our rituals. We had our routines of daily pooja, weekly visits to the temples nearby and occasional pilgrimage to far off locations. Places, which had a reputation of being a powerful 'khestras' where our desires were fulfilled, only if we had faith in the residing diety and were devout. Anyway, the equations were rather simple and direct.

Well, listening to Neema meant, as she put it, a paradigm shift. While it was very refreshing for us to learn the logical approach of shastras, it was not easy for us to assimilate it as we tended to get back to our old opinions.

Applying logic to understand the meaning of 'I' and the nature of 'God' would obviously take a lot more effort on our part if any realisation is to come to us. Obviously, we need to make a choice between continuing in our old ways or try to grasp and navigate our lives through the new thoughts and ideas that have occured after listening to Neema.

She also reassured us by saying that there was a logic in believing in different gods and there was a place for prayer in the shastras. While I try to dwell on how this discourse has affected me, I hope others who were present will tell us about their comprehension and their perception after these ten hours of discourse and dialogue.

I appreciated Neema's approach, which was more of sharing than laying down precepts. It was very refreshing to see this attitude from a person who had studied the shastras and had learnt sanskrit. There was humility and joy as she spoke to us of the very exciting discoveries she made for herself as she studied the shastras.

You learn more about them and their thoughts from their web site .
http://www.discovervedanta.com/difference-bw-religion-spirituality.htm

I am very happy to include Marisa's comments here in the Main Blog:

"Dear Nidhi, How true your blog is.......If you can add mine on I would appreciate it as I do not know how to do it. Spending a few sessions with Neema only confirmed what I have been feeling as a child - that "goodness" exists within us and we do not have to look at the external for answers. Our answers are all within us.

I grew up as a child who rebelled against all the traditions that were taught to me. I always asked "Why, Why, Why" and it tired my mother a great deal because the answers she gave were not satisfactory to me. I believed that a lot of it were superstitions, but when I got married, I became "part" of all that I did not believe in - just to fit in with society, and my my in-laws.

This made me an unhappy person within as it was in conflict with my values. I set out searching and sometimes found answers but not as clearly as Neema explained it. Her teachings have only confirmed to me that life is indeed simple - if we so choose it to be; that we design our own karma; that we are responsible for all that happens in life (whether we like it or not) and that we cannot blame others or circumstances in our life. We must be responsible for our paths and our choices create the direction we head. Life is indeed simple, but as human beings we do tend to make it complex.

Thank you Neema and Surya for these very enlightening sessions and for making me realize that all I required in life was one simple prayer "Give me clarity of thought".....how true - as this short and simple prayer applies to every aspect of our life. Thank you for touching all of us so deeply. Marisa"

Here are a few earlier blogs I wrote as I pondered on our 'human' condition! You don't have to, but I have included them in case you feel like reading them. You will at least learn how confused a mind can get!
http://nidhiramblers.blogspot.com/2008/02/pilgrimage-thoughts.html
http://nidhiramblers.blogspot.com/2007/03/alpha-males.html
http://nidhiramblers.blogspot.com/2006/09/should-god-apologise.html
http://nidhiramblers.blogspot.com/2006/08/we-could-have-vaulted-to-israel-acorss.html