Do Birds and Bees educate?

You may wonder what this septuagenarian is up to? I agree that at our age sex should be on our mind only when filling in the immigration form at the airport and our time should be spent on Vedanta contemplating more serious issues. But not so easy as it is all pervading, as news on the main sheet of a newspaper or as a brief note tucked away in the inner pages. For instance Rediff India Abroad, reminds you daily how to keep hale and hearty and also boost your brain with much researched and recommended morning activities not consisting of either yoga or art of living. In fact, these are the top emailed features since long. One need not even speak of the TV and the Bollywood and Tollywood movies.

Not to worry, I am only concerned about the controversy that is raging in India. Sex Education in schools. A little late to be getting into the fray as I see a lot has been written about it in the papers, not only in India, but in the west.

It was perplexing to see in the papers some months ago that the CM of Karnataka was opposed to SE as it was not in our culture! He did not elaborate then, but as he is now out of office, he has the time to explain now. Perhaps not, it is proven that most politicians have convenient memories and are prone to forget, statements and even promises made!

I remember asking Tara at that time whether her school, which is an international one, had this subject in the curriculum. She said yes, but was not aware of the details. My intention was to send a copy to the CM hoping that it could help him to re-evaluate his earlier decision and perhaps change his mind. Well it remained as an intention, as Tara kept forgetting to get me the details. Then, two things brought the subject back to my blogging mind.

One, was when a friend expressed shock after reading about a mother presenting a sixteen year old son with a packet of condoms on his birthday. Quite shocking and one wonders where indeed was the father. However, I cannot imagine this type of conversation with fathers as well.
This I thought was the ultimate form of SE.

Two, when the controversy shifted to Maharashtra recently. 'The Maharashtra state education minister had recently announced that sex education would be made compulsory for schoolchildren. However, this announcement is being greeted with heated opposition by other legislators in the House. There is a debate going on currently about the advisability of providing basic sex education to school children in the Indian state of Maharashtra.'

Obviously one can expect a lot of reaction. Here is one such: (It is somewhere in the web!) India has among the highest incidence of rape in the world. Moreover, not a single day goes by without newspapers reporting at least one case of sexual harassment or molestation.
I do not see a connection between this and sex education, but he does. I remember he does speak about 'taboos' and a lack of healthy interaction between boys and girls. Which I suppose is to be addressed, but his idea that this is achieved through sex education in schools is naive.

Then we see a claim that sex education brings down the incidence of HIV/AIDS. I suppose true, I recall crude ads advising safe sex on the National TV during a cricket match. One hopes all those careless truckers, their target audience, watch the five day tests. Here is also a link to a bizarre attempt at educating general public.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44IFYB1icx0

I know that it is a different world now. The years after the sixties, so called period of liberal attitudes, has changed the ways of the western world and is now moving to some portions of the east. Hence going back the memory lane may not be of much help. That was an era where it was more like 'If birds and bees with their tiny brains needed no sex education, humans with a more complex brain would definitely learn', and learn we do.

I suppose I should add this about parental concern. While no conversation ever took place, I remember discovering in my teens, two books which surfaced in my father's book shelf. One was about VD now STD, which was gruesome and another about 'Brahmacharya', it was all about self control from sinful thoughts and of course the ill effects of 'self abuse', the outcome being death by 'consumption'. Weird from today's point of view. I suppose it was my father's way of educating me with the books and knowledge available at that time.

Now for the surprise! It might appear that I am a supporter of SE in Indian schools. Actually, I am one with the netas for once. I do not think it is desirable to have SE as a part of school curriculum. I read that the text books published for the subject were very crude and were rejected. In addition, it is certain that there would not be many trained teachers available for this sensitive subject. I think we do not have the requisite culture yet, I am talking about our present culture and not of the times of Vatsayana or the erotic temple friezes.

I believe that many parents are worried and confused. They are not sure how to handle the situation in a fast changing world as their children reach adolescence. We all know that children are more aware now. There is also peer pressure on them, especially for Indian children away from home, exposed to different and in our view, permissive cultures.

Obviously, sensible books which parents can give to children when they feel the time is right would be of immense help. Very necessary especially for those parents who are shy or old fashioned to talk about it. (Definitely not the type of books my father chose.) Conversations with our children could perhaps focus on the more important aspect of values. It is also about our own lifestyle and habits.
I saw this on the Belief net:
Don't worry that children never listen to you. Worry that they are always watching you. -Robert Fulghum

I am quoting in full below what I consider as sensible:

Recently, there has been a great amount of discussion on the introduction of sex education in India. Naturally, this debate has been very heated. If anyone was thinking that sex education can be introduced in India without any resistance from society, he was living in a fools paradise. Three states of India have already banned this education and CBSE had to defer its plans to introduce it from 2007-2008 session.

Now, the real question that arises is what is the real problem behind all this fuss? I think, the real problem is the word "SEX" itself. Indian society is still not prepared to discuss these topics in the open with its children.

The main problem is the manner in which this education is being tried to introduce in this country. The educational planners ( or mis-planners) are trying to implement the western system of sex education as it is. What they are not able to see (or are trying not to see) is the cultural difference between west and India.

Sex education is being introduced as a separate subject. This is causing all the problems. Indian society is not able to accept it as a subject which can be taught to their kids. Actually, some of the topics related to reproduction in human beings already exist in the science books of children. No one raises objection over that. Because children learn these topics as a scientific terminology, which does not effect the moral character of society.

Wouldn't it be more appropriate if we introduce the sex education topics in other subjects instead of introducing it as a separate subject all together? I think it will be much better to integrate sex education with other subjects instead of introducing it as a different subject. In this way, the goal of providing knowledge about sex to children can be achieved without any resistance from Indian society.

Satya http://www.vshiksha.com/user/1/

June 15, 2008
Samachar/NDTV reports about a revised module on sex education. One hopes that this will meet the needs of educating children more sensibly.

http://publication.samachar.com/pub_article.php?
id=2112259&navname=General%20&moreurl=http://
publication.samachar.com/ndtv/general/
ndtv.php&homeurl=http://www.samachar.com

Some links of interest:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/6928326.stm

http://www.avert.org/aids-picture.php?photo_id=1492

http://www.shvoong.com/law-and-politics/498339-sex-education-india/

http://www.iht.com/articles/2007/05/24/africa/letter.php

http://gateway.nlm.nih.gov/MeetingAbstracts/ma?f=102242304.html

Omnivore's mom's dilemma.

I read the book 'Omnivore's Dilemma' written by Michael Pollan, here in Vancouver. I am not writing about the book, which is eminently readable and very thought provoking. I have just borrowed the title!

What will you have for breakfast? The question confronts Leela as she gets ready to go to Montessori in the morning. Leela is going to be four soon and while she is not a complete omnivore, she being human, (as defined in Wikipedia) is primarily an omnivore and also opportunistic. An omnivore is defined as the one who eats everything, and she does like a lot of things, but she likes only those that her mother thinks is not suitable for her. Hence there is a drama enacted each day. The same drama continues for Lunch and Dinner as well.

Rohini is a modern mother, who likes to involve Leela in the process of decision making and is also a concerned one about what is right to ingest. She finds it difficult to deal with it as the problem is compounded by the fact that Leela has a brand new sister and we suspect she is being difficult due to sibling jealousy. Luckily it is not anti 'Rhea' but Leela wants to get back to being a child and get all the attention she used to get when she had no competitors.

It is not easy now for a kid to figure out what she would like to eat. There are so many things her taste buds have tried and liked. Many of them are not breakfast material and finally she makes a choice out of the two or three given to her. While it does not please her mother, she gets what she has asked for, however reluctantly. Then there is a problem when she starts nibbling, whatever she chose does not taste the way she imagined it to be! She dawdles over it and frustrates her mother with her sudden lack of interest in eating. She is not hungry any more or she does not like it! She may also regresses to being a baby and asks to be fed and it is already very late and they should be leaving for school.

In these moments of tension, as a grandfather, as profound as my experience is supposed to be, I am unable to give Rohini a 'mantra' to help. I am hoping Tara who is joining us soon will be able to do it with her grandmotherly wisdom!

However, trying to see if I can make some helpful suggestions, I tried to go back to being a kid of four myself. It was simpler those days. I do not remember being asked this question. Any way the choices were not that many.

I quote from the website of Michael Pollan: 'The omnivore’s dilemma has returned with a vengeance, as the cornucopia of the modern American supermarket and fast-food outlet confronts us with a bewildering and treacherous food landscape'. I remember walking to one of these super-mega stores and was bewildered by the choices. The way it is here, you have to take your children along and you do get persuaded to buy things with different tastes and give it a try. I cannot imagine the effect this has on the taste bud of small kids. In any case they get hooked to some taste you have absolutely no clue.

I remember as kid we had a village boy working and staying with us. Once I offered him some kind of savory which I was munching. He would have none of it, his logic was that it did not fill his stomach like the Raagi he invariably ate and he did not want to corrupt his taste buds with what we ate, as he would not be able to get it all the time. I really admired his self-control.

There are of course controls parents do try. They are denied Coke or Pepsi for instance! I remember Neil when he was five or six wishing that he could grow up fast. I was curious to know what he wanted to do once he grew up. Of course, as you can guess, he said he would do whatever he wanted. I asked him what, for instance, he would like to do? He said 'I can drink Coke'.

The argument I get is that they would get hyper with sugar in the drink. A reasonable argument as you have to deal with hyper active kids differently here than what we would be meted out those days!

We have a proverb in Kannada which says, what you eat is your choice, what is worn needs others approval! But it is clear making a choice in this country is not easy. I remember that during the festival of 'Janmashtami' it was fun time after the festival but a tough one before that. We would see a lot of savouries prepared and stored during the week prior to the festival, but we had to wait till after the puja before we were able to eat it. Supposed to help our self control, but it was hell for us children.

Imagine the torture kids here goes through, they have to wait till they have grown up to eat all those forbidden stuff they are exposed to, not just a few days of wait we had. Then again they see kids in the class drink and eat all that cool stuff which are forbidden to them.

I wonder, as they sometimes accuse us, are we being mean to them? I know it is for their good, but how does one convince a four year old! You could reason with them, may work for a while but not too long. Bribe them with other things, no idea how good it is long term. Divert them with other ideas, they are not so easily diverted, these modern day kids are smart. We can punish them, a real no-no according to me.

It seems to be a real tough dilemma to resolve. You can see why I am waiting for Tara more eagerly than normal!

Freej!

(That is how I used to hear it called, till I read about Refrigerators! This is one more from my pre-blogging days!

Raji asked me on the day they were leaving ‘why have you stopped writing or did you stop sending them to us?’ I think it was a ploy to keep me busy, as I would surely be missing my grand children who were with us for the last two months! Life becomes really intense with kids around us and it is totally dull when they leave.

Today being home alone and bored I opened the refrigerator looking for a drink. All I could find was a can of beer stuck in an undignified manner between two plastic containers. I opened the freezer to chill the beer and was shocked to see three idlys in a transparent plastic container. Being unprepared, I could not stomach the sight of normally steaming soft idlys huddled in a box freezing! I had read gruesome stories about psychopaths using refrigerators to store dismembered bodies and that the mostly unmourned Idi Amin had kept severed heads in a fridge. While there is really no comparison between the two, staring at these innocent looking idlys stirred my south Indian soul to no end.

So thanks to Raji here I am trying to write about my encounter with Refrigerators, a boon to humankind. I read that there is one in almost every American household and I am sure also in most European homes and the rest of the world busy catching up. It is indeed a modern miracle that has changed life mostly for the better with some odd exceptions!

I am only talking about it as a home appliance to keep food cold. I will not talk of its use as a message board and so on. Neither am I going to examine other types used for Labs. Raghu possibly would love to talk about it. I am also not concerned with its technology, refrigerators that work on propane, thermo electric principles, on solar energy or the various refrigerants especially the eco friendly non-CFC varieties! May be Meghana could tell us about her special experiments in oxford on natural refrigeration! However, I am particularly indebted to refrigerators as it made my continued stay in Bangkok possible as 'Wireforms' sell parts to its manufacturers.

My first encounter with a Fridge was at my Bombay aunt’s home. Surprisingly it was in the storeroom and not the living room as was the fashion those early days. I was eleven years old at that time and was happy to see a machine that made ice at home. I recall taking out ice cubes surreptiously to suck on and that while the water was colder from the fridge I still preferred the 'cooja' water. However eating cold alphonso mangoes was heavenly. I also remember that storing cooked food in them was a no- no! It was 'ulupu' to store cooked food in it. I do not know how to explain this, except that we never stored cooked food those times.

Another encounter I remember was almost two decades later when I saw it on display at my colleagues wedding. He brought it home along with his bride and it was strangely symbolic as she was rather cold to us, his bachelor friends!

Soon it was my turn to buy a fridge and I could afford only the smallest at that time. Anyway I thought it was just right, all we needed was space to store water, milk and of course a few bottles of beer. As you would guess the process of my learning had started! There were more important priorities for storing in the fridge than beer. What about vegetables I was asked, there were umpteen other things that needed place in the fridge. The last straw was when our Bai started storing Dahi and leftovers in the fridge. While this was progress as a taboo was lifted, I was loosing ground or rather space! Tara complicated the situation further by keeping idol of Gods over the fridge. Soon I retreated and switched to rum, frankly as beer had got expensive. But I kept grumbling that only unnecessary stuff was being stored in it! My associating fridge primarily with beer would have made Pavlov happy.

My next real encounter with the refrigerator was in Seattle. I had to actually manage the fridge this time. I somehow shoved in all the curry powders and stuff sent by Tara as it was deep and big. Only problem was to find them again. We also needed space for Neil’s needs. Luckily we moved to a new place and decided to keep both the fridges. The old one was relegated to the garage and all the curry powders and of course Beer would go in there. I had a real problem when Nikhil arrived three years later as I had to create space for more curry and other powders sent again by Tara. I am certain if there is a way of carbon dating curries it could tell us the number of trips we made and when! There was no way Nandini could use the loads of curry powder sent to her.

Another complication in managing these huge cavernous fridges was due to expiry dates printed on the stored items. I had strict instructions to throw away without mercy anything that had passed the expiry date. Raxit told me that it was not worth the risk. I was in constant dilemma, as I would invariably find things that had gone hiding and would reappear only after the date of expiry!

(I think this invention would solve my problem of finding a dignified storage place for my beer and I have don't have to get up for it. Watch this video anyway, it is fun!)

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/445498/robotic_beer_launching_refrigerator
As usual I did a small google search looking for more ideas and found a few interesting trivia. It made my job simple as well. Read on and enjoy my ‘copy and paste’ work on refrigerators!

Some interesting facts copied from the web, Sorry I do not have the link:
-Dr. John Gorrie of Apalachicola, Florida invented mechanical refrigeration in 1851.
Electric refrigerators were first sold to American housewives in 1916, at a cost of $900.
In 1956, 80% of all U.S. households had a refrigerator, but only 8% of British households had one.
-The value of a new refrigerator rests on more than the initial price tag. The annual operating costs on the Energy Label can be considered the second price tag. Compare models similar in size and features.
-Refrigerators manufactured since 1997 are required by the Department of Energy to use no more energy than two light bulbs in order to qualify for the Energy Star rating. This translates into a 200% more efficient refrigerator than those of the Harvest Gold era.
-If your refrigerator/freezer experiences a power failure or malfunction, keep the door closed. A full freezer will remain frozen for about 48 hours; a half-full freezer about 24 hours. Refrigerated items will last 4-6 hours depending on the warmth of the surrounding room temperature.
-Keep the condenser coils clean to ensure an efficient refrigerator. This should be done yearly. They can be found usually at the back lower compartment. Use a gentle brush, so as not to disturb the tubing.
-To eliminate odors, place a bowl of cotton balls soaked in plain vanilla extract in the fresh food section. ( I hope it works for Indian food!)

Dishwashers--The American 'Bai'

(I blogged about Dishwashers a while ago. It is as relevant today as it was in 2008, did some corrections on typos though. I will add that today the boy friend brought in by a daughter would be asked to load the dishwasher machine to see whether he qualifies as a future husband....  Nidhi ,Sept 2017  )

Dishwashers in India are mostly the living kind, known as 'Bai' in Pune, even though they are expected to work like machines. I recall that while at my uncles' in Bombay, I was eleven, I was asked at dinner to eat fast as 'Rama' would be there anytime. I had no clue as to what they were talking about, but hurry up I did. Soon discovered that Rama was the contract dish washer, who walked in at 9 PM, worked super fast as evidenced by the noise he made while dealing with the metallic vessels. (Using ceramics was not used in our orthodox families.) Time was the essence of his contract and if we were not ready, too bad, he would wash whatever was there and move on.

I remember that Periamma, my grandmother, would wash vessels she used for her cooking and her dinner plate separately! It was a bit different for us, we were expected to wash our dinner plates, but a maid would wash the cooking vessels. It was sometimes my lot to rinse these vessels after the maid had washed them and stack them in the kitchen to dry. While I would do this grudgingly I did not even remotely imagine that there were machines out there to take care of this uninspiring chore!

My first encounter with the Dishwasher was at Cindy’s parents home back in 1969. I was tutored before I went to the States that if invited for dinner at an American home, you were not to just wash your hands and relax after dinner. You were expected to wash the dishes as well! So, after dinner while there was no need to wash my hands, I dutifully picked up my plates and the cutlery to the sink and washed them clean and looked around for a rack to keep them! Jean who was watching my heroic effort suggested that I put them in the dishwasher. I had no clue as to where the blessed thing was until she pulled down the door and I saw the insides of the dishwasher for the first time! I placed the plate on a rack and that was that! I wondered why she wanted me to put the clean plate there, but I assumed that this was as good a place as any for the dishes to dry!

The story would have ended here if I did not to manage the dishwasher at Nandini’s home in Seattle after Neil's (Saarung) arrival! I was irritating my cousin Prasad visiting us at Seattle with endless ‘how to’ (My dishes don’t get clean!) questions about the dishwasher. Luckily for him he saw a program on dishwashers on the TV and called me to watch it to get my answers! Before I could get there it was almost the end and I could not get much out of it except that dishwashers was a serious subject for study!

I spied on how others were loading and managing their dishwashers. I discovered there were as many ways as there were people! Some loaded dishes till the dishwasher literally choked, while others were gentler. A few rinsed vessels with hot water before loading (note this: not after the wash as I used to do at home!) and others in cold water and a few not at all.

I can see the day when a prospective mother-in-law, assuming she still holds sway, asking the potential daughter- in-law to load the dishwasher to check her personality traits and the culture of her family! (Will be different today!) It could also become an area of potential conflict. I have seen that some vessels do not get cleaned in spite of the prior rinsing. I have a suspicion that the dishwasher has a diabolical sense of humor and throws up a bit of the muck it has retained.

Here is a quote from a piece I saw on the internet. It is really sweet and will surely appeal to all the young mothers who chose to live in the US.
http://www.naturalchild.org/jacquelyn_delaveaga/banana.html
There is a Banana in My Dishwasherby Jacquelyn deLaveaga
"Other than reading to my children, I couldn't think of any one thing that I engaged in on a regular basis - so where was my time going? That's when I saw it. The banana in my dishwasher. Half-peeled, sitting in the silverware tray. What is that doing there? I thought as I pulled it out, wondering whether to toss it in the trash or save it for banana bread. Then, my two-year-old son walked over and said, "That's mine," and took it from my hand.
"Did you put it in the dishwasher?" I asked him.
"Yes," he replied.
"Why?" I asked (silly question).
"It's yucky," he assured me.
Next, he reached into the dishwasher and grabbed a wooden spoon that was still covered with chocolate-zucchini cake batter and started banging it against a kitchen chair, sending cake batter splattering all over the walls. "Ahhh!" I exclaimed as I grabbed it from his hand. "Messy, very messy," I instructed him. He simply smiled a very accomplished smile at me and moved into the living room where he had a small saucepan sitting on top of the humidifier fan."

Now from serious stuff:

I learnt the way the various plates and vessels are to be placed. (For some it is an art form and for others it is as rigid as a ritual!). There was also the embarrassment of discovering in the morning that the detergent was forgotten while starting the dishwasher or certain type of glasses were ruined because they had to be hand-washed! I loved the way the ceramic wares shone after the wash, looking as good as new! The same cannot be said of steel vessels and loading plastics into the washer is a waste of water and detergent! I loved unloading a dish washer as it is a form of therapy. Especially if you do it early in the morning when the rest of the family is asleep! I find it as sooting as a morning prayer!

I researched on the net and was surprised that the automatic dishwasher was invented by a woman named Josephine Garis Cochrane! She received an award for her invention at the 1893 World's Fair in Chicago. She designed the machine for the Hotel Industry but today it is practically in every home in the US and is about 2 Billion dollars a year business in machines alone. Detergents are specially made and adds further to the business.

I am sure she made the life of an average American much better and deserves a place amongst the great inventors. A machine if invented in India would have been deified on Dussera day and she as the creator would certainly be a goddess! (Or may be not, as the machine would only replace a lowly paid Bai.) Curiously I saw an ad for a 'dishwasher' on the web and the salary was about nine dollars per hour. That would cover my one round of golf at the pitch and putt!

If you desire to browse the net there is an enormous amount of Technical and Customer service data (e.g.,“The single most important factor in getting good results is HOT WATER!!”) that would certainly further your knowledge (Veda) on how the machine is being continuously improved to make it almost human!

There is also an astonishing report made in the year 2001 by a Management consultant appointed by one of the States to research the subject of dishwashers and its use, amazingly after more than a century of its invention. It was reported (quoting from my memory)  that before loading a dishwasher 40% of users rinse thoroughly, 35% rinse reasonably and the rest do not rinse at all! I remember the study was made to estimate power and water consumption patterns!

While I do not want to dwell more on all the gems I discovered on the web about dishwashers (may be I will for a small fee!)